Who pays what?

[Ladybug9]

Hi everyone,
I'm getting full child support from my STBX for our 2 young children. I have them 70% of the time. Apparently, he has been advised by his lawyer that I must pay everything for the children since I receive full child support. For example, even when it's his time with the children and he brings them to MacDonald'd or to the museum... I need to pay for the kids meals and admission. Hmmmmm...... doesn't sound right to me. My lawyer says that day to day living expenses are to be paid by the parent who is with the children at the time.
What do you think?

[logicalvelocity]

Ladybug9,

I believe you should not have to contribute to when the other parent brings the children to Mcdonalds.

LV

[Decent Dad]

I'm just thinking out loud here...

At 30% access you ex sees the children about 9-10 days out of 30. Two more days and he sees them 40% of the time and has a chance of getting support reduced. Five more days and he is 50-50 and has a better chance of support reduced. Why does this matter. Well, with reduced support your ex would probably have little issue about paying for Museums, outtings, fast-food, etc. So now he is in a rock and hard place: paying full support yet incurring a lot of day-to-day costs.

With 2 children your ex is paying a good chunk of his disposible income through CS. With young children he may be paying a good portion of daycare and section 7. I guess he is saying enough is enough?

Not knowing the details of your breakup or divorce, I get the impression that someone (your ex) is a little ticked off. Perhaps it is the custody, the access or the money, or all of the above.

I can offer you a couple of things:

- stop with the lawyers, they are expensive and fuel the animosity
- find out what's bugging the ex (perhaps you know?)
- extend an olive branch and offer some solutions (e.g. you'll take them or pay for the museum if he takes them and pays for McDonalds).

This kind of stuff can spiral out of control and will probably burn itself out over time. How much time will depend on the approach.

If you ask 10 different lawyers you will get 10 variations of the same answer. Technically you should be paying, especially for the Museum. Small things most likely not. Who pays for restaurants really depends on the judge-de-jeur.

Sorry, I am not sure I answered your question, but just some food for thought.

[Divorcemanagement]

Rule 'o thumb -

When the kids are with you - you pay for stuff
When the kids are with the ex - they pay for stuff.

[Sk8r]

A game

My ex does that - tells the kids that they must ask me for $$ for things they will do while with him.

It's solely intended to push my buttons. I used to react. Last year, I even forked out $75 for my son for a father-son camping trip with his father's church, because I didn't want my son to suffer. But now I just say no.

My kids are a bit older; I just tell them, no sorry, if Dad wants to take you to a movie, he can pay for you.

He does it less now.