Am I being unreasonable?

[inseperationhell]

Ok, need some advice here...will give the background first.

Our kids had a dentist appointment booked on my custodial time. An appointment with a specialist came up which conflicted. I emailed my ex stating that I had to change the dentist appointment and would ask for the next available one. He responded in agreement. After rescheduling, it wound up being on his custodial day.

I emailed him, letting him know asking if the appointment was ok. He replied back in email stating that "No, I can't make it. I will call to reschedule the dentist appointment". So, I took him at his word.

Well, low and behold, he never called to rebook and I had a message on the machine today from the dentist asking where the kids were and stating that we would be charged for the missed appointments (that is 3 missed appointments as all 3 kids were scheduled).

I emailed my ex asking what happened and informing him that we were being charged because he never called to reschedule.

He responded saying that he would re-book however he would not pay for the missed appointments because although he stated he would reschedule, I should have phoned to cancel the appointments. Thus it was my fault that they missed them and I should pay the bill...

WTF???? He said in writing that he would reschedule. Am i responsible for paying for missed appointments that he was supposed to reschedule and never did? Or is he right and should I be on the hook to pay the bill?

Thoughts please

[Berner_Faith]

Umm...from what I can gather from your post... you were already speaking to the office and informed them you could not attend? Because you wanted to book another appointment...you booked that appointment before seeing if he was available...when he said no he wasn't, since YOU booked an appointment first without consulting him I would say you should cover the charges... yes he said he would reschedule the appointment, but how is he to know you actually booked the appointment for sure, and not just called to inquire what day was available?

[inseperationhell]

Let me clarify.

Appointments were booked for Day A. We had to reschedule as another appointment at a hospital came up.

I emailed him to state that the appointments on Day A needed to be rebooked to the next available appointment. I did not know if it would be my day or his. He replied ok, let him know when.

I rebooked the appointment - they gave me Day B which fell on his custodial day. I emailed him immediately to say the appointments had been booked on Day B asking if he could make the appointment. He replied back No he couldn't make the appointment so HE would reschedule the appointment with the dentist.

He knew it had been booked, stated in email he would reschedule, he did not reschedule and now wants me to foot the bill????

If he had not replied in email that HE would reschedule, I would have called back and rescheduled....

Am I responsible to foot the bill for something he stated he would do but didn't follow through on?

[tenacious199]

Bottom line, do it yourself, cover your ass at all times and document it.
I have a hotmail account and whenever something needs to be documented i write a summary about the incident, how i felt, what i did and what i expected the other person to do. Send it to yourself. Keep it in a file. Then you will have date stamped as to how you felt at the time, what you expected and can use it in your defence if necessary. IF you are ever questioned in court you can show it and prove what you understood at the time and no worries about recollection.
Good luck.

[standing on the sidelines]

to me you are not being unreasonable. Yes the appointment was rebooked to his time and there is no reason a father cant take his kids to the dentist on his time unless there is a conflict. There was and he said he would rebook.

[NBDad]

He should be the one to foot the bill on the missed appointments. However go forward, since you have now learned he is not reliable for these things...do not book appointments on his days.

Book them ONLY on yours.

[Tayken]

He should be the one to foot the bill on the missed appointments. However go forward, since you have now learned he is not reliable for these things...do not book appointments on his days.

Book them ONLY on yours.

Bingo.

Also, why create any conflict with something like this and try to figure out who is in the right. You know what to do next time now and had to learn it the unfortunate way.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[MiViLaLoco]

He should be the one to foot the bill on the missed appointments. However go forward, since you have now learned he is not reliable for these things...do not book appointments on his days.

Book them ONLY on yours.

Yuppers...

I went through this myself...although the Dentist didn't charge us. I've also had to scramble to get our child to an appointment on his time because he "forgot" till the last second and could not get away from work.

So now when our child needs an appointment for anything I make sure it is on my time and then let the him know the day and time should he care to attend too. This seems to work best and ironcially he has a better chance of showing up and being there for our son when it is handled this way.

Just a question...if you both have dental coverage through work, would this not be automatically covered this time? Also, if their charging you uses up the "once a year" most plans seem to have then when you actually take them to their rebooked appointments would he not then have to pay his porportionate share? ...Just wondering...

[HammerDad]

You're both partially at fault here.

You for booking on a day that he was unavailable (but you didn't know that, a little more communication between you two may have flushed it out).

Him for failing to reschedule once he found out it was on a day he couldn't make it.

If the costs are minimal and it is going to cause a bunch of hassles, I may just eat the costs and never book anything on his day again. It would be easier that way. If the costs are fairly high, I would request that the costs be split as both of you could've solved the issue and are both responsible for the result.

[Berner_Faith]

Now that I see more to the story...yes he should foot the bill...however... would this be considered a section 7 where you both would be liable? As others have said...if the cost is minimal just cover it, and make sure nothing is booked on his day...make sure you are available for all appointments to ensure this doesn't happen...

[FightingForFamily]

Missed appointments are not generally covered by insurance.

IMO they both made errors, the mistake was due to some miscommunication, and I think it would be most fair to split the penalty.

[staysingle]

Call the dentist and inform him your deep desire to keep him as a dentist and indicate as his or her dental custumer if he could kindly waive this fee this one time.

Then don't ever rely on your ex for childrens appointments on his day.

Good luck

[wretchedotis]

its 50 bucks!
pay it and call it the cost of the lesson that you and Dad need to communicate better.

[staysingle]

Wise answer wretchedotis. This is not an issue to disturb the peace about. I would still try and get the fee waived. Last I heard dentists earn $250k+ a year or more!

[Berner_Faith]

Getting the fee waived may be an option but at the same if they do it for you they have to do it for everyone else... you can threaten to take your teeth elsewhere... will the dentist really care? Most likely not seeing at they earn over $250 a year...especially if you are in a small town... we have 2 dentists in my town... good luck trying to go from one dentist to the other...you would never get in.