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How do you feel the abuse allegations will help you?
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"I have the children" means what?? Full custody, shared? WTF are you doing abusing or being abused by your ex in front of your children anyway.
Protect your children at all costs from this type of behavior. Do not involve them about who did what to whom.
It seems like you want to have your children rat the other parent out about abuse. If so, shame on you.Comment
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You can get some great advice here..you just have to be the strong one. As for showing abuse seen by children, you get them, you can get a Childrens lawyer involved. Do the right thingComment
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You cannot ask your children to be a witness. That will only traumatize them further.
Many women's shelters have programs for children who have witnessed abuse. You can contact them for advice, but beware that CAS will likely be involved. If you have nothing to hide, then it's a good way to get your kids help.
From my own experience, not getting the police involved meant that nobody believed me. at least nobody at court. Doesn't mean that will be the case for your spouse though. Take precautions when dealing with such a person, carry a recording device and make sure you record EVERY conversation. If you are innocent it takes a LOT more evidence to prove it. This is NOT criminal courtComment
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Oh no,,that is not what I am saying. Maybe I misunderstood you. If the children have seen something, and I have been through this before, the children can be spoken to by CS, etc very casually to find out what they saw. They are NEVER in a courtroom. And that is very true..this is not criminal court, but you need to document everythingComment
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my post was directed to the OP, not you Kelly
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Ohhh,,okay!! Sorry about that..I just noted that because I have a friend who went through this, her kids were 5 and 7 at the time and they had a CS rep come to the house and speak with the children...this is a mess, a sad messComment
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The childrens counsellor can submit notes on behalf of the children, which is a VERY good thing. CAS are rediculous in my opinion...Comment
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From my experience with them,,they disregarded alot of information. For them to tell you they will monitor the situation for 60 days but have no concerns unless your spouse comes back? They should have MAJOR concerns right now...I just don't have much faith in them. I really hope they are better with you.Comment
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My girlfriend went through ALOT with them..they were just, as I mentioned, rediculous! The Childrens Counsellor was more beneficial and got her the results she needed for the courtroom.Comment
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Best of luck..I hope everything turns out well for you and your childrenComment
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Dont worry,,just keep all your records and rely on what you feel is best to get you and the kids through this..whaever documents you will need for court, make sure you get them. Sounds like your kids have just been through enough.Comment
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She went through everything..the kids were always in the middle, abused at one point and CAS was absolutely useless...The childrens counsellor is the very best for them..Comment
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If the CAS has no concerns as long as the spouse doesn't return then there are 2 answers
1. your spouse is the one they are worried about
2. the connflict between both of you is of concern.
err on the side of number two and asssume they are looking for you to mess up as well.
In your case asking for OCL involvement is probably a good idea. The OCL will speak with CAS and their records and interviews will become part of the OCL investigation. They will also talk to school, daycare, doctors, counsellors and other relavant peopl in the children's lives (esp if there are live-in relatives).
Just remember that the OCL is looking out for the kids best interest and that they will be trying to figure out what the true situation is. Best to be honest with them
Good luckComment
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Intake Criteria for Provision of Custody/Access Cases - Ministry of the Attorney General
the basic process is described and you can get the forms.Comment
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