DV during drop off

[lorely]

To make the long story short there was DV when I was dropping the kids off, my ex assaulted my eldest because he didn't want to stay, I put myself between two of them to stop the situation, situation escaladed and he assaulted me, Police was involved, he was charged, has no contact order with me and the kids. What should I do now from the family law point of view? What are the steps that I have to follow? Tried to call my lawyer but she is busy with trials, I am running in circles.
We have shared custody and parenting court order, my ex has been continuously verbally abusive towards me in all of the conversations related to the kids (I kept all communication in writing)

[Stillbreathing]

There is currently a criminal court no contact order so that is what you follow. You or your ex can bring the matter back to family court at which point your ex may be allowed supervised access to the children. What are his bail conditions other than no contact with the kids?

[lorely]

No direct contact nor indirect with me and the kids

[pinkHouses]

I don't know that you have to do anything.
It is your husband that has to do something.
Let things cool down.

No contact as in no communication at all?

[blinkandimgone]

It depends on what outcome you're looking for. With a no contact order, his parenting time would be suspended.

Items to consider if you need to file a motion to change:

- custody
- parenting time
- child support.

[iona6656]

It depends on what outcome you're looking for. With a no contact order, his parenting time would be suspended.

Items to consider if you need to file a motion to change:

- custody
- parenting time
- child support.

one thing to the ocnsider is the wording of no contact order.

To the OP- take a look at your 'no contact order' and/or his bail conditions. Is there a there is a statement in there saying that "subject to an order of the family court"- said person cannot contact or be around someone else?

I would be filing a motion to change- and an urgent motion to suspend all access or move to supervised.

If you or your kids are scared- Do NOT let things "cool down". Do this now while there are charges against him.

Do you have a safety plan for you and the kids?

[pinkHouses]

I am a little lost here.

BlinkandImgone asked an important question: "It depends on what outcome you're looking for."

Haste makes waste.
How are they going to file an emergency order and do well if they don't have a lawyer and what more are they going to get from that emergency order that isn't already in the no contact order?

They can get supervised access without an emergency order consent will do. I know someone let in without a court order consent or otherwise, it sucked.

Why go for a change in child support right away?

"Feeling afraid"? Bravery doesn't make the other person less dangerous or more dangerous. Being cautious and smart is good.
If there is danger then temporarily stay somewhere else.
Security cams to see if the ex is lurking on the street would be handy.
Again, what is family court doing that criminal court is not?


Some counselling for the kids would be in order.

I am not a lawyer, what am I missing here? Is the criminal court order going to evaporate in the next couple of weeks?

[iona6656]

I am a little lost here.

BlinkandImgone asked an important question: "It depends on what outcome you're looking for."

Haste makes waste.
How are they going to file an emergency order and do well if they don't have a lawyer and what more are they going to get from that emergency order that isn't already in the no contact order?

They can get supervised access without an emergency order consent will do. I know someone let in without a court order consent or otherwise, it sucked.

Why go for a change in child support right away?

"Feeling afraid"? Bravery doesn't make the other person less dangerous or more dangerous. Being cautious and smart is good.
If there is danger then temporarily stay somewhere else.
Security cams to see if the ex is lurking on the street would be handy.
Again, what is family court doing that criminal court is not?


Some counselling for the kids would be in order.

I am not a lawyer, what am I missing here? Is the criminal court order going to evaporate in the next couple of weeks?

while most of the time- I'm happy to ignore your responses- I think much of your "advice" in this section of the forum could be potential damaging and dangerous to victims of DV and IPV- male or female.


Haste makes waste is completely incorrect when it comes to IPV. If you don't outcry when something dangerous happens- at worst it could cost you your safety and the safety of your children, and at best- if you say something later and act later- it then looks like you're only discussing the abuse/violence because it helps with a strategic advantage.

Stop giving advice on DV when you have absolutely no frame of reference.

You continually post after to me to be contrary- do it in other threads. Stay out of the threads of IPV victims.

[lorely]

one thing to the ocnsider is the wording of no contact order.

To the OP- take a look at your 'no contact order' and/or his bail conditions. Is there a there is a statement in there saying that "subject to an order of the family court"- said person cannot contact or be around someone else?

I would be filing a motion to change- and an urgent motion to suspend all access or move to supervised.

If you or your kids are scared- Do NOT let things "cool down". Do this now while there are charges against him.

Do you have a safety plan for you and the kids?

The order says "you must not communicate , directly or indirectly, with" me and the children, except in accordance with the following conditions: you must not go to places that are related to the person's mentioned in the above condition, any places they are known to be"

[pinkHouses]

while most of the time- I'm happy to ignore your responses- I think much of your "advice" in this section of the forum could be potential damaging and dangerous to victims of DV and IPV- male or female.


Haste makes waste is completely incorrect when it comes to IPV. If you don't outcry when something dangerous happens- at worst it could cost you your safety and the safety of your children, and at best- if you say something later and act later- it then looks like you're only discussing the abuse/violence because it helps with a strategic advantage.

Stop giving advice on DV when you have absolutely no frame of reference.

You continually post after to me to be contrary- do it in other threads. Stay out of the threads of IPV victims.

To the heart of it. My questions:
What will the Family Court urgent motion do that the criminal court order will not?

Haste does make waste: what are the posters finances like, how are they going to pay for this urgent motion and how are they getting value here?

I would like to know, others too. Maybe it would do something worthwhile.

[Stillbreathing]

My ex assaulted our children as well. He did have a no contact order as far as the kids but was allowed to contact me. We were not yet litigating in family court. He was following his bail conditions of no drinking, and getting mental health help. After a few months I had a meeting with the prosecutor and asked if he could have supervised access to the kids. The prosecutor varied his bail conditions so that he could have supervised access in specific situations ( he was allowed to attend their sports events in public with mr supervising). This worked well initially but he was sporadic and then stopped all contact for several months after which we started in family litigation and things eventually went south.

If you are not yet in family court, you can ask the prosecutor to grant your ex supervised access with a family member or clergy or at an access centre. Since he assaulted you, you would not be able to supervise.

Your children are not in immediate danger since there is a criminal no contact order already in place. Therefor you can take a moment to breathe and take a bit of time to think your next steps through.

You said you had a lawyer but she is busy. This is not an emergency as the criminal court has dealt with the urgency already, Your lawyer will advise you on next steps.

If you are already in family court, they will at some point need to be made aware of the situation. It is reasonable for you to ask for the family court to give you an order for your ex to have some form of supervised access whether through a CAS supervised access centre or family relative, along with conditions such as he reframe from substance abuse during visits and take an anger management and parenting course. The judge may also order OCL involvement or a custody and access assessment ( which is a waste of money).

The first priority is the safety of the kids, then your safety and then your ex reestablishing his relationship with the kids.

If you are proactive with family court in requesting some type of supervised acccess with conditions for your ex, this will be looked upon favourably and cast you in a good light with the judge. Otherwise you may be seen as overprotective. Your ex will eventually be getting supervised access to the children whether or not you feel comfortable with it.

[rockscan]

@Jeff and at @blink…can either of you do something about this thread? Once again a thread on DV has been hijacked and it is unhelpful for the original poster and other people in a similar situation who may be looking for info.

[iona6656]

If you are not yet in family court, you can ask the prosecutor to grant your ex supervised access with a family member or clergy or at an access centre. Since he assaulted you, you would not be able to supervise.

Your children are not in immediate danger since there is a criminal no contact order already in place. Therefor you can take a moment to breathe and take a bit of time to think your next steps through.

You said you had a lawyer but she is busy. This is not an emergency as the criminal court has dealt with the urgency already, Your lawyer will advise you on next steps.

I'm going to walk back my comment about the urgent motion and agree with Stillbreathing here.

Maybe not an urgent motion. But I would be bringing some kind of action in family court. My concern with relying solely on the criminal courts and bail restrictions or a no-contact order- is that those can be changed at the prosecutors discretion. I know that when the same thing happened to me- a crown liaison (someone from the crown- I don't remember who) *did* contact me and ask me if it was okay to remove the no contact order. The first time she did it- I hadn't gotten a consent order for supervised access in place yet- so I was able to say "please don't change the conditions yet". But I would be worried that it could be changed without something in the family court process being in place yet.

Either way- I agree that, if you can afford it, you need legal advice right away.

Depending on where you are- there are some organizations that can help you with what some next steps could be. Luke's Place in the east end (Durham region).

[lorely]

Stillbreathing and Iona6656 thank you very much for your advices, please don't make a personal issue the discussion.
We had a final agreement with final court order, it looks like it has to go back to court, I want to maintain the no contact order for myself and to go for supervised for kids.

[blinkandimgone]

Posts will continue to be hidden in the thread when they:

- contain no useful information.
- do not relate to the OP's question.
- serve no purpose but to derail and hijack the thread.