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  • #31
    Not to go on and on about this, but under what circumstances does filming an incident of abuse "to show to the mother later" take precedence over intervening and protecting the child? This sounds like a case of two parents who are so caught up in their conflict with each other and proving who is the bad guy that the kids have become secondary. This impression is bolstered by the fact that the filming parent is contemplating showing this to a judge a year and a half after the incident happened. Why?

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    • #32
      I'm not suggesting that person is a "hero". I'm not a psychologist and I'm assuming you aren't either. I don't know if other abused partners try to show their abusers that they are abusive or not. I'm sure there are all types of abusive situations and personalities involved. I do know this one hoped to convince his partner that she has temper issues and the situation escalated to a point he did not expect. The mother knows nothing of the videotape and denies kicking him down the stairs, stating the boy launched himself down the stairs when she started to push with his foot. And it didn't take 1.5 years for him to go to the cops. He waited too long, but the cops didn't care if it was today, yesterday, or 3 months ago. Since that incident he did everything he could to ensure no harm would come to his kids. To my knowledge, and his, none did.

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      • #33
        I have an audio recording on my phone( around 90 of them) of my wife screaming in front of the children and threatening me. She used the F word and threatened to take the children away from me. Would it help in court?

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        • #34
          Originally posted by nolimit View Post
          I have an audio recording on my phone( around 90 of them) of my wife screaming in front of the children and threatening me. She used the F word and threatened to take the children away from me. Would it help in court?
          No probably not - unless she later followed up.

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          • #35
            If someone is behaving irrationally around your children your first instinct should be to protect your children.

            Having 90 videotapes is quite telling - Besides showing you are perhaps employed in the wrong career, you clearly are looking for 'dirt' on the other parent and that you will go to any length to achieve your objective, even it if means subjecting your children to a lousy home-life.

            So you stand around with your video camera/cell phone taping your ex all the time? I think I'd be telling you to f**k off as well - loudly.

            Did it ever occur to you that you could spend your time diffusing the situation by simply taking your children out for a trip to the local library?

            You would be better to focus your time/energy on creating a parenting plan for the future. You have to become more child-focussed. Trying to get dirt on your ex shouldn't be your focus. You have to convince a judge why shared parenting is in the best interests of the children. I think you are going to have a very difficult time with this as it seems you are too adult-conflict focussed.
            Last edited by arabian; 03-12-2014, 08:48 AM.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by stripes View Post
              Not to go on and on about this, but under what circumstances does filming an incident of abuse "to show to the mother later" take precedence over intervening and protecting the child? This sounds like a case of two parents who are so caught up in their conflict with each other and proving who is the bad guy that the kids have become secondary. This impression is bolstered by the fact that the filming parent is contemplating showing this to a judge a year and a half after the incident happened. Why?
              She was yelling at a child being extremely difficult. The stairs part caught him off guard. He did rush to the child's aid as soon as he saw it happening. As for showing a judge, well there are other new concerns he has that makes him wonder if he should be asking for full custody.

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              • #37
                Child Custody is public order, its always open to renegotiation if circumstances change.
                there are other new concerns
                This is 50% of the battle, determining if the "new concerns" are significant to warrant a re-evaluation

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                • #38
                  His new concerns are the new environment children are to be raised in: polyamory, strangers moving in and out all the time and education neglect.

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                  • #39
                    Get a psychosocial evaluation

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by vocircuspants View Post
                      His new concerns are the new environment children are to be raised in: polyamory, strangers moving in and out all the time and education neglect.

                      The education piece is the only one that really speaks to parenting ability. Polyamory and turnover of roommates may be choices that the father disapproves of, but they aren't intrinsically harmful to the child. And a video recording from a year and a half ago isn't relevant to this "new environment". The father needs to focus on actual evidence that the child is being neglected or harmed, not on his disapproval of the mother's lifestyle.

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by vocircuspants View Post
                        She was yelling at a child being extremely difficult. The stairs part caught him off guard. He did rush to the child's aid as soon as he saw it happening. As for showing a judge, well there are other new concerns he has that makes him wonder if he should be asking for full custody.
                        a parent would have removed the child from the situation, not filmed it.

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                          a parent would have removed the child from the situation, not filmed it.
                          Excellent point. In addition here is why justices rarely admit video / audio evidence.

                          1. Parent A calls Parent B and says: "YOU ARE AN A**HOLE AND STUPID!" Then Parent A hangs up the phone. (Recording device is off at this time.)

                          2. Parent A turns on recording device and then call Parent B calm and collected and says: "Would you be willing to swap time with me this weekend?" Parent B goes off on a tangent because of what Parent A did in Step 1.

                          3. Parent A, thinking they are the only person to have EVER done this before, tries to present evidence of Step 2 and Judge throws it out of court knowing this common tactic.

                          Good Luck!
                          Tayken

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                          • #43
                            recordings are double edged sword. It can either help or harm you. depends on the judges. most of the time judges don't like wasting their time listening to nonsense. Everything can be interpreted differently if taken out of the contest.

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