Voicemail(s), that threaten to send other parent to jail?

[dad2bandm]

Is this considered a threat?

This came up again, in another thread I have,
http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...ekeeper-14375/

The other parent is frustrated I guess, because I circumvented her tactics to deny providing D4's info to me (we have joint custody of D4).

As she is prone to do, she left me a voice-mail (I don't answer), telling me she's going to make sure she does everything she can, to make sure I go to jail (sigh...).

In this particular voice-mail, she left me, she promised I will go to jail, and said,
"hope you like jail, bi$ch!" (this is said to me)

Is that considered a threat?


There are other instances in the past, where this has come up.

[dad2bandm]

Yes, I asked this question in the other thread too, but thought I should start a thread here, as this forum seems more appropriate, and I'm crowding my other RESP thread.

Obviously, I should ignore these type of messages from the other parent, but, I don't think I should have to put up with this tone of message, left on my voice-mail.

[arabian]

I think what you have to look at is what you hope to accomplish by going anywhere with this.

I had the RCMP go to my ex's g/f's place with a much less stressful phone call than what you received. The police were very good and simply opened a file, drove over to her place and spoke with her. This worked for me. I went this route rather than making a court issue out of it as I gave her the benefit of the doubt for simply being stupid. I never had to leave my home to do this and I simply emailed the message to the RCMP. RCMP were very helpful and I didn't receive any threatening or harassing calls again.

It doesn't hurt to have a police file number in the event this is the start of something.

[mom2three]

Is it a threat? Under the law, no. She must have threated death, bodily harm, or destruction of your property.

The CCode is a bit more technical than that, but her utterances do not fall within the categories outlined.

But I sure hope you have kept a copy of that voice mail. What a charmer she is

[dad2bandm]

Yeah, I didn't think it would fall under a threat...she'd have to threaten me physically, or some kind of harm. It was the tone of message as well, and her raising her voice, and calling me a "bi$ch"...But it's harassing.

I did call the police, and they took a report. They will go talk to her.

This has happened in the past as well, and there have been some times, when I felt the police needed to be called, and most other times I just let it go, because they can't seem to do much. I called this time, because D4 is with her tonight, and I don't think she should be calling me, leaving those kind of messages, with D4 with her. Plus, I've told her repeatedly to not call me via phone, unless there is an urgent emergency.

They said, if she keeps calling me, eventually it could be criminal harassment I guess, but I mean, there have already been many times. The cop grimaced a few times, listening to her message. (I keep everything, so yes, he had the audio to listen to).

I'm already prepared to probably not get D4 for a day or two, as a result of this. We shall see.

The audio also has some "parental alienation" kind of comments in it as well, because she decided to throw in some other issues in her ranting message, so I have that audio as well.

Perhaps it will be useful, for future court matters, if anyone is interested in the kind of things that are said to D4.

[dad2bandm]

I had the RCMP go to my ex's g/f's place with a much less stressful phone call than what you received. The police were very good and simply opened a file...and I didn't receive any threatening or harassing calls again.

It doesn't hurt to have a police file number in the event this is the start of something.

haha. I wish. Unfortunately, it seems to keep popping up with this particular ex from time to time. One would think they would get a hint.

I agree, the police file number may be useful.

[Mess]

It is not a threat but it is harrassment. You have grounds for a non-contact order.

[OhMy]

Mess,

Out of curiosity.. What would be the grounds for a non-contact order? Can this include text?

How does someone make joint decisions with that order in place?

[arabian]

dad2bandm: good move. Perhaps your ex will think twice before leaving a poisonous message again. Make sure you don't add oil to the fire and leave her a message. Now might be a good time to start using the wizard program. Takes 2 to tangle so don't provoke her. Radio silence might be a good thing. I'd carry on like nothing happened.

Nice to hear the police are doing their job - keeping the peace.

[arabian]

If your ex will not cease from the phone calls, and you can't come to any agreement on how to communicate,you could look into getting a peace bond. You can go before a justice and request that communication between the two of you is not allowed unless it is done through the wizard program. In the event of the emergency a police officer, paramedic or other 3rd party is to contact the non-custodial parent. The peace bond would likely be enforceable against both of you and you might be asked to have a neutral drop off/pick up location. Certainly would end non-essential communication.

I would only resort to this if things go from bad to worse.

[involveddad75]

My two sense here, both from a technical standpoint as well from a humorous one.
First, record the message (you already stated you have) but usually there is a button you can press that then gives a date and time for the call.
So go and record it again in the following procedure.
Get to message, when it starts quickly press button stating date/time stamp. Then it should return to the message and finish playing the message, at the end pause and press the date/time stamp again.
This new audio has everything that needs to be in place to get the recording into court. it has it's date/time as well as the full message in it's entirety.
It my also even give you the number from which the caller called from, further proving it was her.

Use it to argue joint custody, on the grounds that mom did this while she had your 4 year old daughter. that is could have been done in front of your daughter. And that Joint custody sholuld be awarded as this message clearly in mom's own words describes what she thinks of you and what she would do to you if she could, as such it's reasonable that she would be portraying a negative message to the child about you.
Lastly she know she was being recorded.

Now for the fun part.
1. send her a polite message detailing the correct use of the word "B!!TCH" and correct her that since you were the donor of the sperm that made the child it's impossible for you to take on that role. Then delete the message.

2. a co-worker of mine used this one in a union environment quite well. He would go up to one of his bosses and say "I'd like to tell you, fill in the blank, blank, blank, but I can't so I won't" There were days where he would use this tactic almost everyday.

Anyhow just my two sense.

[dad2bandm]

...
First, record the message (you already stated you have) but usually there is a button you can press that then gives a date and time for the call.
So go and record it again in the following procedure...
...
Use it to argue joint custody, on the grounds that mom did this while she had your 4 year old daughter. that is could have been done in front of your daughter...
...
Lastly she know she was being recorded.

My voicemail service is a little lacking but it does have option to play timestamp and number that called after message plays so I really-recorded the played message with that.

We already have joint custody which seems to be the problem...for her.

Your other ideas is amusing. Lol.

[arabian]

As opposed to? Please don't tell me the old stereotype of eating donoughts still applies?

Police officers have to go into highly emotional situations without knowing if there are weapons. I believe police are trained to handle these matters and are a good resource when things get out of hand or if someone feels threatened by another. I think it's good for children to know the police are there for them when there is danger. Same goes for children's exposure to firemen.

Cops should get free doughnuts and coffee.

[hadenough]

OhMy: I don't know what the nature of your text msgs are but not answering them at all and following it up w/an email stating "dear ex, I rec'd "15" text msgs from you on (insert date). I am requesting that this harrassment stop and if there is anything relevant to address concerning the kids, kindly send me an email with your concerns. Thank you"

Then don't answer his texts at all. If he keeps it up and sends a bunch of angry emails, don't answer those and go file a report. It's when you "answer" that it's considered you engaged in the back and forth debate. One can't say another is harassing them if the person rec'g the communication engages.

Unless/until he sends you a *calmly worded and child focused* email re: something to do with the kids, don't reply. He will have been put on notice with your original request about not texting you. If he chooses to ignore that very reasonable request, then there are consequences.

[caranna]

Even though I have not contacted my stbx in any way since separating from him almost 18 months ago, I received a threatening message from him in the mail 6 weeks ago. Yes, in his handwriting, in the mail.

I immediately made 2 copies, with a brief message to my lawyer, went to the police station with one and dropped off the other at the lawyer's office. The police sent over an officer who interviewed me. They took the note very seriously and informed him that if he ever does that again, he could be arrested.

It was good to have the police officers' understanding and co-operation. So much for the stbx's good reputation and fake Good guy persona he wore for so long. For a very long time he has spoken harshly against the police and I never really found out why. His vitriol against the police used to anger me, as I have only respect for the police. I also let the officer know about stbx's dislike of him and his peers. That went over well with him I'm sure. He said that he would include this information in the file about the stbx.