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Can the X keep his last name ?

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  • Can the X keep his last name ?

    Hi Everyone

    I want to marry my boyfriend, the problem is the xwife is still using his last name, they have 2 kids. I understand keeping the name for the kids sake, but is this the norm ?

    Can we request in the seperation agreement she will return to her maiden name ? I want to take his last name, but it bugs me that she is still keeping it, I'm not sure if she will change it when the divorce happens, it's the strangest thing...she is really very bitter and after 18 months she still throws our relationship in his face every chance she gets..

    Anyone in the same boat ? Advice ?

    She is NOT aware we are planning on marrying as we are still finalizing the sep agreement..


  • #2
    I don't see what the problem is with the ex keeping his last name especially since there are kids involved. For the first six months of my daughter's life we had a different last name. It was a huge pain. I have kept my ex husband's last name for simplicity's sake although I do plan to change my name when I marry next year. I honestly don't think you'll have any luck getting her to change her name in the separation agreement. Its not like her having the last name prevents you from marrying or taking his last name as your own when you do marry. My advice is just not to sweat it.


    • #3
      there is nothing that you can do about it so try to stop being ticked off about it. When and if she gets remarried she will probably change to her new husbands name.


      • #4
        Considering there are kids, I think it helps her feel connected to them. My parents divorced when I was 17 or so. It would have been weird for me if my mom changed her last hame and I am glad she did not. She has the same last name as my kids, as their cousins etc... it seem right to me.

        Hey, I wonder what will the future hold for this whole name thing. It seems women are less likely to change their last name, but I really like the idea of everyone in a family having the same last name....maybe when you marrry you pick a new last name together! I think the hypenated thing is kinda lame for the most part - who can be bothered to say "Mary Schwarzenegger-Rumpelstiltskin" everytime....


        • #5
          I wouldn't worry about it because if you were in a small town where that last name was dominant--you'd have lots of people around who were Mrs. X.

          I grew up in a small place and our last name is Y (for example) and there were 65 Mrs. Ys.

          Some were divorced some were remarried. Whatever.

          Just make sure you are the bigger person here. If she gets annoyed that you are now Mrs X just like her, remind her that it's not copywritten and act "So what?".

          It's just a last name and probably searching the phone directory you can find a whole of Mrs X just like you're going to be and she is now.


          • #6
            I bet if you looked her in the eyes with a big smile and told her that in a short while you two would have the same last name that she would run screaming to change it.

            Personally I told my Ex that she was nothing but a disgrace to my family name and we didn't want the likes of her associated with us.
            (She sued me for divorce after she got caught cheating, lieing and stealing) Suprise to me, she changed it within months.


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