Brief history, married almost 17yrs, together 19yrs. Have 2 kids 14 and 10 - both boys. Like most had more than our share of ups and downs. Wife has been emotionally abusive for more than 5 years and manipulative for almost all of it. I never saw it. I just thought I wasn't doing my best and kept trying to make her happy - never worked (I'm sure that's shocking). She has been a very jealous person, she always compared herself to many of my ex girlfriends. Would get furious if I mentioned another woman, even if just in passing as someone from work did this or that idle conversation... Went through my personal email account, managed to access my work account because I left it open accidently. Had multiple conversations I wasn't happy, listed the reasons fell on deaf ears. On two separate occasions, I suggested we separate but never followed through with it. These are just a few things I could go on and on but won't.
In the fall of 2018 a light bulb went off, I saw all the emotional abuse and manipulation she had been doing. I thought long and hard and felt in my gut, it was the right thing to do. I told her in January and she was obviously upset and asked for a second chance. I held my ground. She'd get mad, or she'd get sad. I get hammered with text messages while at work for being very selfish with guilt trips laid on me about the kids or all of my past wrongs that she said she got past but never really did since they could be brought up at almost anytime, (vacations, during a dinner out or some idle Tuesday at 2pm). I've purposely progressed slowly as I have virtually zero in ways of a support network. No family close and not many friends as they seem to have drifted away. Not sure if that's related or not....
So I started to fell like things for moving forward and she was accepting the inevitable, mediator set for today. Things were tense and a few massive flare ups. But most conversations were focused on the kids or some random thing.
Last night threw me for a loop. I got home she was pleasant as punch, had dinner sat and talked very friendly. I have no idea what's she's doing now. My mind thinks this is all part of her manipulation games. And Ill be honest after one night I was questioning if my decision is correct and everything I've thought and felt is wrong....
She's also stopped wearing her wedding ring. I was hoping that means she's accepted this and begun to move on.
Anyone ever experience this or have any thoughts on it?
I'd appreciate any insight you may have
In the fall of 2018 a light bulb went off, I saw all the emotional abuse and manipulation she had been doing. I thought long and hard and felt in my gut, it was the right thing to do. I told her in January and she was obviously upset and asked for a second chance. I held my ground. She'd get mad, or she'd get sad. I get hammered with text messages while at work for being very selfish with guilt trips laid on me about the kids or all of my past wrongs that she said she got past but never really did since they could be brought up at almost anytime, (vacations, during a dinner out or some idle Tuesday at 2pm). I've purposely progressed slowly as I have virtually zero in ways of a support network. No family close and not many friends as they seem to have drifted away. Not sure if that's related or not....
So I started to fell like things for moving forward and she was accepting the inevitable, mediator set for today. Things were tense and a few massive flare ups. But most conversations were focused on the kids or some random thing.
Last night threw me for a loop. I got home she was pleasant as punch, had dinner sat and talked very friendly. I have no idea what's she's doing now. My mind thinks this is all part of her manipulation games. And Ill be honest after one night I was questioning if my decision is correct and everything I've thought and felt is wrong....
She's also stopped wearing her wedding ring. I was hoping that means she's accepted this and begun to move on.
Anyone ever experience this or have any thoughts on it?
I'd appreciate any insight you may have
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