Are we common law? Help please?

[ladyowl43]

Hi everyone, thanks to all that respond. So here is the story, I have been with a woman for the past seven years. We maintain seperate resadences. I sometime stay with her on the weekend's but not often. I own my own home that I use as a summer house in the same town, but live and work 3 hours away. She sometimes comes to stay with me where I work and live most of the year. She only stays a week at a time.
She pays all her own bills and I pay mine. I did buy her a van that she drives and maintainsbut remains in my name. I pay the van loan and insurance. I did pay off some of her debt when we first meet. I have on occasion paid some of her bills such as telephone or gas when she was behind.
I also paid her mortgage when she was waiting on a decsion on her disbility pension. I didn't want her to loose her house. She is now paying her own mortgage. We have a line of credit together but own nothing on it and also one joint account that has nothing in it. She never uses it.

When I divorced my husband, I put her down on my health benefits and as my benificary for pension. I make 75,000 more then she does, she is on a disabilty pension. She is also 9 years older then me.

Things are not going well between us and she is threatening me with suppousal support, half my pension and half my summer house. What do you think, is she entiltled to it? Are we indeed common law? I've been told yes, because she is on my health benefits and pension benificary? Yet we never really lived together. What may a judge think if and when we go to court. Any response back would be great.

[dadtotheend]

Threatening you with SS?

Good luck to her.

And as Dan Savage says, DTMFA.

[Mess]

You need to speak with a lawyer, pronto. You also need to DTMFA pronto, close the joint accounts immediately (what would you feel if she maxed the line of credit account tomorrow and put the bank account into overdraft?)

Now consider this very carefully: Did you stay at her house half the time, she stayed at your house(s) half the time, such that you were together every night? What percentage of time did you reside apart on average each month? This is the main issue she will use to establish a spousal relationship.

Your second issue is a constructive trust. Did she contribute to the maintainence and upkeep of either of your homes? Did you ever make any indication that your intention was to share your assets with her etc? You made her beneficiary of your pension, this by itself won't make the decision but if there are other issues then it may tip the scales.

From your description it sounds like you contributed more to her house than she to yours. Even if you were found to be common law spouses, she would have no automatic claim to your property. You would have a claim to recover your investment in hers. I would suggest you hold this concept back, and use it if she pushes for claim on your property. I suspect the situation would be that she would actually have to pay you for your investment in her property while you would owe nothing to her for your property. This is a complicated argument and I would mention it partway into negotiations to try to show that she doesn't stand to gain anything and should drop the matter to save legal costs.

What is her ability to support herself, and importantly, how has her ability changed with separatation? Were you effectively helping to support her month to month? Will her standard of living drop dramaticly now that you are split up? Was she supporting herself during your relationship without dependence on you, other than occasional gifts from you to cover her while she waited for disability etc?

These are all questions that will affect a decision. Because you put her on your pension and benefits, and I presume designated her as a spouse then you left yourself open, but this is not a clear cut situation defined by legislation, it will depend on case law, so you need an experienced lawyer's opinion.

[ladyowl43]

Thanks for your reply. What is DTMFA? I stayed with her about 3 nights out of the month. In the winter I never saw her cause of winter driving conditions. She was three hours away. So we talked over the phone. She maintains her home souly. I don't pay any of her bills. I don't maintain her property nor does she maintain mine. She is totaly self sufficent I don't pay anything for her daily living. She pays everthing herself, I do however let her have the van that i pay for and insure. Yes I have her listed on my benefits and have her listed as my common law suppose. Just wondering what the courts would judge. Support or no support since I don't support her at all. She is very indepent of me except for health benefits. Any thoughts. Thanks in advance

[Mess]

DumpTheMotherFuckerAlready. Phrase meaning your partner is such a jackass that breaking up should be a no-brainer.

You've contributed to her home, you have constructive trust argument to at least receive your investment back.

She made no contribution to your home(s) so she has no claim to any of your assets.

Regarding Spousal support, one needs to establish entitlement and then amount. She has been self supporting and her lifestyle and budget will be unaffected by the breakup. She has no entitlement on that basis. You weren't co-habitating by any definition of the word so she has no entitlement that basis.

For her to ask for anything is a complete jackass move, if she has received even the most basic of legal advice, all she is doing is bluffing and pressuring and wasting your time and money.

If it were me, I would write her lawyer *(if she has one, communicate through the lawyer) *(at the moment you don't need one) and state that the two of you did not co-habitate so there is no spousal entitlement. You are seeking reimbursement for monies invested in her property and immediate return of your vehicle. * Later on you can drop the claim on her property and seem reasonable in doing so, this is to make a point.

You should get your van back immediately. You do make yourself vulnerable by paying the insurance and loan on it, YOU MUST disentangle yourself from her in all ways immediately. Every day you keep any joint account open, any day you keep paying for her insurance, etc is now a tacit acceptance of her claim that you owe her something.

It's unfortunate, if she'd been reasonable about the break up you would be free to ease the transition and continue lending her the van and covering her health insurance etc temporarily, but now that she is making a spousal claim, you need to establish that anything you did was out of friendship, not legal obligation. If you continue giving her anything, it implies you agree with her claim. That doesn't mean you lose, but it means she gets more arguments to make and can drag it out more and cost you more legally.

Just break it off and cut her off and close anything and everything that is joint. I can't stress enough, take the day off on Monday, call your bank, insurance agent, your workplace insurer for the health benefits, the car dealership, anything and everything you are connected to her with and end it immediately.

[Epona]

I don't think your living conditions would warrant "common law", since the two of you weren't living together. The two of you maintained separate house-holds. I don't believe receiving benefits constitutes common-law. But I'm not a lawyer.
Did you both claim "common-law" on your respective income tax returns?
I advise that you see a lawyer, have a half consultation (referrals from Law Society of Upper Canada) or go to FLIC.

[ladyowl43]

Thanks for your replies, I appreciate it. No we didn't file income tax jointly. She did not want to lose out on her GST check lol. Looks like I'll be busy Monday. Any ideas if I can just take her off my Health Benefits. Best go see a lawyer. Thanks again

[KeepSmiling]

Yes, best to go see a lawyer.

But, did ya not think that she shouldn't have been on your health benefits in the first place?

Just know that you played the system. You claim common law when it's convenient and you claim single when it's convenient.

She is as big a perpetrator as you are - ask her if she really wants to go down that road??????

[ladyowl43]

Yes she should have been on my benefits. So i put her on my benefits. I am not a perpetrator. I claimed single because she wanted that way. So give it a rest.

[karmaseeker]

I don't think you'd be seen as common law. There is a test of sorts that has 3 main criteria with sub questions under each heading.

1. Would you describe yourselves as common law?
2. Financial break down - shared expenses, both names on things like mortgage, car insurance, etc.
3. Would the community view you as common law? sports centres, churches, friends and family, etc?

By what you described doesn't really add up to common law to me but I am not an expert.