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  • #16
    Maybe they failed to post the retainer. It's not really important why they bailed.

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    • #17
      You may be entitled to repayment of the costs associated with the upgrades. As you are not on title of the house, you didn't actually contribute to the mortgage (paid other activities as you even stated above) and you weren't common law. IMO your claim to the actual house is weak at best.

      He will claim that he allowed you to stay rent free and only cover your share of the utilities. Any monies you gave to him for trips and activities he will argue were gifts and it will be on you to prove that it was an agreed that these payments were in lieu mortgage payments.

      Legal fees will chew into any compensation you may receive. Have you made any offers to your ex? If so, what did they include? I don't think you would win any portion of the house or any money spent on trips etc. I'm willing to bet that you will be entitled to get back the money on reno's you paid for. But outside that you have a number of strikes against you:

      1. not common law, just bf/gf cohabitating
      2. didn't pay monies towards the mortgage
      3. not on title for the house

      You entitlement to the house isn't much better then a tenant.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by charlieb View Post
        Dadtotheend: Are you a lawyer or involved in the court system in anyway? I have to say I don't agree with all your points as I am a strong believer in there is always hope ..however I do understand where you are coming from on some points but it seems you are maybe be a little bitter? I will definitely keep you posted on the outcome nd maybe you willprove me wrong..or maybe I will be the successful one and can prove you wrong
        I am not a lawyer, just a guy who went through the ringer myself, researched the Hell out of all the legal aspects (well not as strong on SS) of separation and divorce and have been an active member here for three and a half years.

        I'm not bitter. I'm blunt. I tell it like it is and make no apologies for doing so.

        You don't have to agree with me, that's fine. But hanging your hat on hope doesn't win any legal arguments.

        I hope you do well, but I think you are being motivated by your moral compass and not giving enough weight to the legal realities. That makes you a prime candidate for the lawyer to tell you what you want to hear and before you know it, you're thousands deep in legal fees and virtually no further ahead.

        I hope you prove me wrong, fill your pockets. But I don't like your chances.

        Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
        You may be entitled to repayment of the costs associated with the upgrades. As you are not on title of the house, you didn't actually contribute to the mortgage (paid other activities as you even stated above) and you weren't common law. IMO your claim to the actual house is weak at best.

        He will claim that he allowed you to stay rent free and only cover your share of the utilities. Any monies you gave to him for trips and activities he will argue were gifts and it will be on you to prove that it was an agreed that these payments were in lieu mortgage payments.

        Legal fees will chew into any compensation you may receive. Have you made any offers to your ex? If so, what did they include? I don't think you would win any portion of the house or any money spent on trips etc. I'm willing to bet that you will be entitled to get back the money on reno's you paid for. But outside that you have a number of strikes against you:

        1. not common law, just bf/gf cohabitating
        2. didn't pay monies towards the mortgage
        3. not on title for the house

        You entitlement to the house isn't much better then a tenant.
        What Hammer said ^^.

        Comment


        • #19
          As other posters have commented, there certainly is a lot of 'fluff' in the OP's first post - The fact that you're a single parent won't sway anyone here, and won't sway a judge, either. Because it's purely a financial matter, you have to present your case like an accountant. Soap opera histrionics will actually impede any progress.

          Try looking at it from this perspective. What was the cost delta between renting your own place and cohabitating with your ex-BF? If it works out to be the same, personally, I'd let it go.

          If you don't have any of your own 'skin' in the purchase, and the value of the house has increased by $40k (by your own reckoning), you would do well to bear in mind that it will cost at least $7k in lawyers fees before you get to the 'case management' stage.

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          • #20
            Have you thought about perhaps taking this to small claims court? I don't think you need a lawyer and the fee to file is small. Depending on what amount you are seeking to gain of course.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by KanataKathy View Post
              ...and the value of the house has increased by $40k (by your own reckoning)...
              I wonder whether her accounting includes all costs.

              You say he bought it for $213,500 and that it's worth $255,000 today.

              I have asked but you haven't yet answered. How much were:
              1. Legal fees on purchase
              2. Land transfer taxes on purchase
              3. Did your ex pay for any significant renovations?


              Those costs need to be added into his purchase price before calculating profit.

              You say the house is worth at least $255K. If you want to go to battle on this you are going to have to have it professionally appraised. A real esate agent's opinion won't hold water legally. The value of the house is probably going to be the most argumentative. A second appraisal may be needed.

              Be prepared for your ex to ask for a notional real estate commission on the ultimate sale of the property. The courts typically favour using 2.5% + HST thereon. That's about $7K into the profit alone.

              You should run your numbers and critically evaluate your assumptions and the result before heading off to court.
              Last edited by dadtotheend; 01-20-2011, 12:38 PM.

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              • #22
                Thanks all for your advice I am listening and taking it all in.. I have tried to make contact with ex to come to an agreement where we both save our money on lawyers.. he does not respond..so the mature way is not available in this situation.
                Kanatakathy: No I am not using the single parent roll here and would not even believe that would sawy a judge..I guess I made that statement as I have responsibilites and not in the postion to give this guy my money and am now left still paying off the line of credit. I did have home appraised by a realtor before I moved out and of course as the market is "now" his estimate on value is just that an estimate.
                Hammaerdad: I paid all the utilities/groceries/daily living expenses/insurance of his daughter on my vehicle/and any activities we did.
                Dadtotheend: and yes maybe I am motivated by my moral compass I would not have done such a thing to someone and am still very hurt by all of this.
                Locicalvelocity: yes he paid his retainer in full..but had not told her the truth on anything and she got blindsided.

                Well all, thanks again for your input.. I wil lmost definitely update on this as things progress good or bad for me..maybe the whole process can help someone else.

                One thing I have learned is : GET A COHABITATION AGREEMENT!!

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by charlieb View Post
                  Hammaerdad: I paid all the utilities/groceries/daily living expenses/insurance of his daughter on my vehicle/and any activities we did.
                  Can you prove these points? You will need proof (ie receipts) that you were contributing more then as just a tenant.

                  He will argue that he allowed you to live rent free in exchange for you paying these bills. Effectively paying rent by buying the groceries.

                  A co-hab may or may not have saved you in this regard anyway. No lawyer worth their salt would allow your ex to sign anything that gave you an interest in the house, as you aren't on title and didn't contribute to its purchase. I know I wouldn't sign anything that gave a g/f an interest in any of my property prior to marriage.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by charlieb View Post
                    I did have home appraised by a realtor before I moved out and of course as the market is "now" his estimate on value is just that an estimate.
                    You didn't get it appraised. You got an opinion. Huge difference.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      dadtotheend.. it was a signed appraisel by the realtor.
                      Hammerdad.. yes I kept all my receipts as I paid for all renos with my line of credit and did not get money from the bank but bank drafts made out to each company.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by charlieb View Post
                        dadtotheend.. it was a signed appraisel by the realtor.
                        Hammerdad.. yes I kept all my receipts as I paid for all renos with my line of credit and did not get money from the bank but bank drafts made out to each company.
                        One note, realtors aren't appraisers. An actual appraiser would be the one who would to the valuation. While the appraiser may also be a realtor, but that is beside the point. And your ex would be entitled to have the house appraised and valued, and his numbers may differ from yours and will be just as legitimate.

                        If you have receipts I would be asking for your contribution towards the reno's. I mean, you could go for everything and ask for a portion of the house, but you aren't really entitled to it as you weren't common law or on title. You can try, but I see very little chance of success (like you would most likely have to pay his legal fees level of success).

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          To pose it another way:

                          During our relationship we bought a recreational vehicle together.. it is registered in my name and insured in my name as well I am the primary on the loan and he is the co-signor. The payments are prepaid and come out of his bank..but since the loan is with my bank and me being the primary it shows on my online banking profile..I make a payment as well as we were doubeling up the paments.
                          Now IF I decide I will not make that extra payment from my banking he will still be the one making a payment.
                          Would it be fair for me to sell the vehicle for less then is what owed on the loan for cash and keep the money not letting him know any of this and have him still pay off that loan? He was stupid enough to co-sign and have payments set up from his account right?..I know you will say well he could just not make the payment..but it is a prepayment and he would not be able to get those payments stopped without something else in place for bank to recover funds...and I am NOT going to agree to him having his name taken off and me be stuck with not only paying off a line of credit but another large loan on top of that ( there is the possibility I could not even get approved to get a new loan without a co-signor anyway) I am not saying I would do this as I am not like that..but to make a point of keeping something which rightfully is not yours and having another persons suffer a lose due to that is wrong. Sure if he found out I sold it and kept funds he could come after me legally.. SO WHAT apparently by what you are all saying would probably be a waste of his time as well after all is said and done...remember I am the only one registered as the owner.

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                          • #28
                            again it is an interseting storyline and I appreciate everyones insight we will see what happens I guess!

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                            • #29
                              dadtotheend: sorry I missed the above and will now answer:

                              being military and posted all the legal fees are covered for us..we pay none other then a home appraisel..which I cannot remember if that is may somewhat be covered as well. He is now posted again so once again all fees are paid for again..he losses nothing..but gains my investment .

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by charlieb View Post
                                To pose it another way:

                                During our relationship we bought a recreational vehicle together.. it is registered in my name and insured in my name as well I am the primary on the loan and he is the co-signor. The payments are prepaid and come out of his bank..but since the loan is with my bank and me being the primary it shows on my online banking profile..I make a payment as well as we were doubeling up the paments.
                                Now IF I decide I will not make that extra payment from my banking he will still be the one making a payment.
                                Would it be fair for me to sell the vehicle for less then is what owed on the loan for cash and keep the money not letting him know any of this and have him still pay off that loan? He was stupid enough to co-sign and have payments set up from his account right?..I know you will say well he could just not make the payment..but it is a prepayment and he would not be able to get those payments stopped without something else in place for bank to recover funds...and I am NOT going to agree to him having his name taken off and me be stuck with not only paying off a line of credit but another large loan on top of that ( there is the possibility I could not even get approved to get a new loan without a co-signor anyway) I am not saying I would do this as I am not like that..but to make a point of keeping something which rightfully is not yours and having another persons suffer a lose due to that is wrong. Sure if he found out I sold it and kept funds he could come after me legally.. SO WHAT apparently by what you are all saying would probably be a waste of his time as well after all is said and done...remember I am the only one registered as the owner.
                                Apples and oranges in your example.

                                The house is legally in his name and you made no direct contributions to the mortgage.

                                Your example of selling the vehicle and leaving him to foot the remainder of the bill would cause him to sue you for his portion of vehicle which he had to pay off due to your actions and for any damage you may cause to his credit should you default on the loan and it hurts his credit.

                                So they are not near the same. One is a chattel and he is making direct payments on it. It is your name, so you have final say over what happens. But should you default on the loan, or cease paying, you effectively have given up your right to title on it. The other item is real property with a different set of laws and entitlements.

                                Simply put, when it comes to the house, you were a tenant. While a tenant you made leasehold improvements to the house and would be entitled to be compensated for such. You are entitled to the amount you actually put towards the house for improvements, nothing more.
                                Last edited by HammerDad; 01-20-2011, 09:10 PM.

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