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  • considering leaving common law partner

    hi, i need some advice. I have been living with a man for 4 years. But i am thinking of leaving. I left my job in another province to come to his and he did not need me to go back to work.

    Since my research on the subject, it seems that there will be no support or help if i leave since i did not contribute large sums of money toward any major house renovations or anything. I am trying to figure out my rights and what would happen if i left. There is nothing of his that i need. We both have no children and i have no debts. Would i be homeless.

    Any info would help greatly.

    thank you.

  • #2
    What type of help or support would you be hoping to get?

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    • #3
      really, i just would like to know that if i decide to pack up and leave, if he has to support me a little bit financially to help get a place of my own or if the government has programs to help common-law divorcees to help women start up a business or help with settling up into a new place.

      I do not know if i am 100% on my own if i leave.

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      • #4
        I gues if he didn't need you to work then he has a nice paying job. Maybe see if he would be willing to help you relocate back to your home province and first and last on a place.

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        • #5
          I'm not sure why the government would have programs for common law divorcees. The federal government has various programs for businesses, if you have a business plan you can apply to Industry Canada. There also might be programs provincially, and more likely you could apply for a training program with your provincial goverment, usually ministry of labour (name may depend on the province.)

          As far as spousal support, because you quit your job and moved to a different province, you have a decent argument for spousal support. It would not be a long period, probably one year. If you had not moved it would be much less likely to receive support after only a two year relationship.

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          • #6
            really-that's very interesting-i was not aware of. How does one go about proceeding. Do i need a lawyer and to go to court.

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            • #7
              Stuff Happens. Nothing like planning ahead and surfacing some leverage.

              Have you considered making a deal with the individual and avoid the litigation scene altogether. If it's pointed out to them what they will have to pay by way of legal fees to defend... What's that alone going to cost them? 5K retainer to start.... Lump Sum in lieu is the way to go so that you may re-establish yourself.

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              • #8
                thank you very much-i get the impression that i could get some finacial support for up to a year-no guarantee. But the fees and hassles could be horrendous in itself. We have not split up yet, and it could still work out. I just like to be proactive. Thanks to everyone for their input. Every input helps.

                Carrie

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                • #9
                  For the amount of SS that you could be entitled, it's hardly worth litigating. Cut a deal with him whereby you gives you a lump sum in lieu of a year or so of SS, which you can use to get of Dodge and set yourself up elsewhere.

                  The amount will depend on how much you were making when you left your job and how much he makes now.

                  Just brainstorming without benefit of any of the numbers asked above, would $5K get you started, and/or finished?

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                  • #10
                    yes i think that 5k would be-IF of course he agreed. I assume that he would have to do it by will and not law. I guess that by saying SS meant Spousal Support.

                    Before i left my province to come here i had a successful business in it's early stages. Luckily, i have no debts.

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                    • #11
                      I have a different view...

                      You live off of him for 4 years, without working, without contributing financially, in fact the opposite, and now you want 5K as a going away gift for ending your committed relationship. And you are also looking for a government program that helps 'women'.

                      Nice. It seems to me that you owe him, not the other way around. What the hell is wrong with people?

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                      • #12
                        i don't know what is wrong with people-these are just suggestions. I am just trying to figure out what happens when 2 common-law people split up. Law is not my best knowledge.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Carrie123 View Post
                          i don't know what is wrong with people-these are just suggestions. I am just trying to figure out what happens when 2 common-law people split up. Law is not my best knowledge.
                          Fair enough - you didn't suggest what I objected to.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by billm View Post
                            I have a different view...

                            You live off of him for 4 years, without working, without contributing financially, in fact the opposite, and now you want 5K as a going away gift for ending your committed relationship. And you are also looking for a government program that helps 'women'.

                            Nice. It seems to me that you owe him, not the other way around. What the hell is wrong with people?

                            Well said. Too bad the government doesn't seem to have the same view. Too many people are asking for money for free. When you CHOOSE to leave a relationship you are fully aware of what you are giving up. "I want to leave him/her but I do not want to leave their money" seems to be the mentality. Sickening.

                            Carrie,

                            I would suggest that you find a job and save your own money until you decide if you are leaving or staying. In the event that should you decide to leave him you may have already saved up the $5k you are looking for. Now that's being proactive!

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                            • #15
                              So he didn't need you to work, so you decided it would be ok to just live off his money. What stopped you from working?
                              You have no children together, you don't have monetary investments locked into any joint property. So what is stopping you from becoming self sustaining now. That would be responsible.
                              I don't understand why people feel that because they choose not to support themselves (for no good reason), that anyone else should have to do so.

                              Comment

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