Want my deposit back

[elizabeth1962]

I have a question.

My common law and i split up a couple of months ago.

We purchase a home together 9 years ago.
My mother gave me as a gift 30,000 to put towards the house as a deposit. He put in about 7000 and i added another 3 for a total of $40000.00 as a deposit. During the time we lived there, he paid for the full mortgage payment and taxes and 1/2 the bills. I paid 1/2 the bills as he made more money than myself.

We sold the house last year and the money is sitting in trust with the lawyer because i want my 30000.00 back from the deposit my mom gave me. It was a gift from my mother, so i want it back. My lawyer says i can get it back. His lawyer is saying i cant get it back. That is was an investmnet in the home and they are saying he paid all the mortgage payments for the 7 years we were in the house. They said if i want my investment of 30K back, he wants his mortgage payments back.
I am also asking for spousal support which he agrees he has to pay me something we just cant agree on the amount. Does anyone know of any precedent of this. Can i get my deposit back.
Can i claim he was unjustly enriched or can he claim it as well. We had no kids together. I work part time 4 to 5 hours a day and he works full time.

Any info would be great.

[Suchislife]

It's difficult from your post to determine if there is an offer to settle on the table.
Simply stated w/o being privy to any monetary amounts, I would ask if it's worth fighting over.
Keep in mind your lawyer wants you lining HIS/HER pockets for as long as possible.
If your EX paid the mortgage for 7 yrs. (presuming that's not a typo as you state the home was purchased 9 yrs. ago) he put alot of money into it.
Why not just split the equity 50 - 50?

As far as spousal support is concerned I personally don't believe in it. It should be called support your EX spouse for the rest of your days.
Anyway, you say he's offered to pay it but you can't agree on the figure. Is he offering to pay you too much?

As you are a working woman with no kids to support and equity coming from a house that's already been sitting idle for a year my humble opinion would be to settle fairly and amicably a.s.a.p and move on.

[standing on the sidelines]

i agree with Suchislife. It seems like the best thing to do. You say you work part time so maybe it is time to look for full time work or another part time job to makes end meet instead of looking to him to pay ss.

If you figure out how much money he paid in mortgage payments, taxes plus his down payment does it come close to what you put down on the house?? if it does then IMHO he matched your downpayment, maybe not all upfront but on a payment plan.

[metro]

I had a similar case on the matrimonial house (I put 100% down, my ex paid 3 months mortgage before separation), but apparently he is taking 50% of it. It seems like the cash gift/personal saving contributed to the matrimonial house won't be regarded as excluded property.

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

I feel pretty much the same as the others.
If this is anything of a decent home, then he has probably paid more into the taxes and mortgage then your original $30,000.

When it comes to the purchase and subsequent split of the equity of a home, things tend to want to shift towards equality rather then the proportionate share ideal.

If you had developed co-habitation agreement that provided for the $30,000 invested you'd have a claim for reimbursement, OR if you have a document from the time you were given the $30,000 gift, then you'd also have a claim.
To go back to your mother for a document now demonstrates to the courts that you are attempting to get a larger percentage of the equity. I know when a family member gives a gift of money and a relatively large sum to another family member, the last thing you're thinking of is asking for a document to show it was gifted solely to you.

I think, in order to save yourself alot of emotional turmoil and lost income to lawyers, I'd settle for an equal split of the equity.

[elizabeth1962]

Actually, i do have a gift letter from my mother. The bank requested it when we were arranging the mortgage. It said that she was giving a gift to me in my name only. Does that mean i will definitely get the money back.
Will i have to pay him 1/2 the taxes and mortgage payments back if i claim my 30K back.
He wouldnt have been able to buy the house if it wasnt for my 30k. He would have had to pay rent anyway somewhere else but my 30k got us the house. I think i should be entitled to get it back.
I know i am definitely entitled to spousal support, he makes double what i make. I am not able to buy my own place now, i am back living with my mother. I am trying to find full time but it is hard. We were together 9 years altogether, 2 living with my mom and 7 in the house.
I know we had no kids together, but that doesnt change me entitlement to support.

[copper]

Something like this really irks me! Not only do you want $30,000 after 7 yrs of living "Rent free" you also believe you are "entitled" to spousal support!

Are you incapable of looking after yourself? Do you not have any sense of pride? Who would be looking after you if you had never met this man?

I assume it was your choice not to work full time over the last nine years as there are no children involved.

Why is it in this age of so called equality that people think they are "entitled"?

IMO Spousal support is not the correct abjective, it should be "Transitional Support" as the other party is no longer the spouse. This transitional support should only be available up to a max of 5yrs unless there are circumstances that the other party is unable to work due to serious ill health or disability.
There are no children that need parental or financial support so why not just dust yourself off and get on with life!

[dovan]

Unfortunately the $30k was a gift be it from your parents or his it is was a gift so that you both could purchase a home together. The only way I see that you would be able to claim that amount as being yours is if there were legal documents signed stating it was a loan that had to be repaid upon the sale of the home. It is like inheritance, if you liquidate that amount into a joint account, purchase items with it that would be in the home where you both lived then it is no longer considered as yours but jointly owned. I agree your lawyer is only looking after his best interest that being his own pocket..... Family law is a huge business these days. I have heard of lawyers getting couples to fight over anything including canadian tire money if you believe it. The more you fight the more paper work and phone calls are made the more the legal costs go up and than you might as well kiss your 30K goodbye.

[elizabeth1962]

I AM entitled to spousal support, as most women do get from their spouses.
The law states that anything you owned in common law relationship remains yours. That money was mine. I brought it into the house and so i feel i should leave with it. If he had a car that was in his name, i would not be entitled to the car. It would be in his name.

I invested 30K into the home, i am entitled to it back. However, i am wondering if i will have to pay back 1/2 the property taxes for the 7 years and half the mortgage payments he paid. He would have had to pay rent anywhere we had lived. My question is does he have a case for unjust enrichment as well as i do claiming my 30K .

I have agreed to settle a lump sum payment of 10K for spousal support if he gives me back my 30k but he wont. He is agreeing to the spousal support portion, but he doesnt feel i deserve my money back. They are saying it is gone.
Do i have a leg to stand on in court is my question

[Ihave2kidsIcannotsee]

I don't want to sound mean or blunt but I think by the sounds of it the one unjustly enriched would be you? I mean you did not have to pay any rent for how many years? I don't think I would ask for anything I would just make a clean break and start over you will feel better for it not having to lean on someone but yourself take care!

[copper]

You seem to be unable to see the advice that people are giving you!
A court case could swallow up any finances that you currently have in trust, this could end up with both of you being out of pocket.

IMO the best thing to do is split the finances 50/50, take the extra $10,000 spousal and walk away with something while you can.

Believe me, nobody wins when it comes to a trial - except the lawyers - who are laughing all the way to the bank.

[Ihave2kidsIcannotsee]

Please if you take any advice take Cooper's he/she is exactly right the lawyers want to drag it out because then they can take all the money for themselves its really not worth it you'll end up with nothing in the long run.

[littleman]

elizabeth1962 I am a woman, I dont receive spousal support and I dont believe anyone in this lifetime is ENTITLED to anything EXCEPT for children.........you are a grown woman and are sounding like a child........you are entitled to support........you are obligated to be self sufficient........I was married to a man for 9 years and one child involved and there is no way I would ever dream of asking for spousal support no matter how much he made.........that money was not YOURS........thats your mothers money and she did a one time life gift to you instead of getting those funds after her passing.......you got 30k that was tax free think of it that way.......you seem to be all over the map with your statements........you want this that and the other thing but you dont think you have any $$ responsibility in any of this.......
simply........you both bought the house........you put up the down payment......he ut up the mortgage payments and taxes.........compare your 30K to probably his 84k in payments (guessing average of 1000$/month for past 7 years for mortgage)...........think you are being way too selfish and on a personal note I would take you to court and ask for half the mortgage payments and half the land taxes back........this is how childish this looks to us...........you lived in the residence for 7 years and enjoyed it without foreclosure or threat of reposession........I agree with Ihave2kidsIcannotsee, I would be understating the facts that you were unjustly enriched by this living arrangement if anyone was

Sorry for being so blunt but you are owed nothing from this man..........why dont you just walk away before he sees exactly what is going on and you find yourself on the wrong end of this.........you dont want messy but if you continue to push he will eventually see it all as we do and you will lose hugely in this mess..........be careful

[elizabeth1962]

I am only interested in the family law courts opinion of the case. I understand that everyone doesnt agree with me morally. But legally, what is the precedent.
Am i legally entitled to my money back.
Can he claim unjust enrichment for 1/2 the mortgage and 1/2 the property taxes.
If i cant win, i will not pursue it. Does anyone know if i can legitimately get my downpayment back. The gift letter proves it was my money that was put down as a deposit.
Will the court see it that way.

[lauralin]

A nine year relationship is considered a medium length marriage, whether you were married or not. You worked, you contributed to half the bills. If it were not for your 30K investment, there would have been no purchase. Did you have a joint bank account? Were your monies pooled?
You were not living rent free. You contributed to the expenses. You're right, he would of had to pay rent and expenses else where. At the least you would be responsible for half of the mortgage payments.
They want you to stop fighting. That is their ploy. I would have fired my lawyer by now for not producing results.