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Selling the house and separation agreement

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  • Selling the house and separation agreement

    My partner of 10 years and I separated last May and I moved out of the house. We have 3 children and I have one child from a previous marriage. We are not married, just common law.

    For the first several months, until school started, the kids were back and forth week to week. When school started we agreed the kids would stay in the house and continue at their school where they're used to. Our arrangement isn't formal and consists of messages on WhatsApp. Currently, the kids come to my house on weekends and I return with them on Sunday and stay until Tuesday morning so the split is closer to 50/50, in a sense. I'm increasingly worried about the arrangement and would like to get the house sold, not only to settle things but also because we are both in financial difficulty and the market is such that we can sell high.

    There are a lot of hurt and angry emotions involved in my leaving the relationship and I've had concerns about gaslighting directed at me. I haven't been worried about the kids, per se, their father is a good, involved father, though I am starting to worry about the level of anger my ex-partner still directs at me. When I am there he does not speak to me nor even look at me unless absolutely necessary and a I'm increasingly worried about the effect this will have on the kids. In what may seem an odd decision, my daughter (who is not his), stays at the house with her siblings as well and does not live with me full time. She is 16 and it was her desire to be close to her siblings. This is the third parent break up she's been through so I've allowed her that stability (her father and I divorced, her father went through another divorce recently and now this one).

    I would like to get the house sold asap but affording a lawyer is difficult. He wants a separation agreement first. I'm concerned that he will make a claim to stay in the house and take custody of the kids based on his slight advantage in time spent during the school year.

    I'd like to know if moving back into the house for the time being is an option legally. Both our names are on the mortgage and I have continued to pay for half since I left. There's all kinds of background that muddies the waters in terms of our relationship that would make it a difficult situation, I'd just like to know, legally, my options. Would including the house sale in the separation agreement accomplish the same thing?

  • #2
    How much weight does an "arrangement" have when it's messages on WhatsApp and nothing's been signed?


    • #3
      Status quo has weight.

      If the status quo is backed by written messages, it has even more weight.


      • #4
        How much weight does an "arrangement" have when it's messages on WhatsApp and nothing's been signed?
        If the arrangement is desirable for you, less than you'd like.
        If the arrangement is undesirable for you, more than you'd want.


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