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Am I entitled to spousal support and how much

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  • Am I entitled to spousal support and how much

    I have been living with a guy for 6 years. We have no children together but he has a child from a previous marriage. He is paying child support of $500/month but not paying alimony. He makes about 55,000 and i make about 30,000. Am i entitled to any spousal support. Also, we have around the same amount of money in rrsps, i have a little more than him, am i entitled to any of his pension from his job.

    Any info would be great. Thanks

  • #2
    Do you require support? For what reason? I'd say by the time he pays his child support, you make about the same as he does. You don't have children and you are capable of supporting yourself.

    Legally, after 3 years of Common Law, you would be entitled to make a claim for spousal support, but I doubt you would get much based on the facts you provided. Unless you are married, you are not entitled to any portion of his pension.


    • #3
      If i am entitled to support though, how much would it be. I have contacted a lawyer and am waiting to hear back. Because of his child support, will the figure be based on his net disposable income or his gross.

      I am worried that if we go to court that he will ask why i never went out and got a better job(my job is only 5 to 6 hours a day) and he always wanted me to try to make more money but i never did. I probably should have, but never really had a reason. He always paid the mortgage and i paid a few of the bills. Can he use that against me. Also, my mother gave me 10,000 last year and i put it towards my new car. Can he use that against me in court.

      Any info would be a great help. I feel I am entitled to something as i am 44 years old now and will need some help getting on my feet by myself.


      • #4
        I am a huge advocate for those people who truly deserve and are being stone washed.
        I mean no disrespect here, but it sounds to me, from your own admission, that you are quite capable of working but for the past years ‘chose” not to because you were being cared for. And despite his urging you still chose not to do more than ”Necessary”.

        For that reason I feel you are not entitled to any support as you are more than able to be self supportive, and have no reason not to be self supportive. And you are attempting to use an already flawed and fragile system for your own betterment at the expense of an another who appears to be doing right by his first family.

        SS is for individuals incapable of self sustainability for whatever reason. I am very doubtful you would win a case for SS as you have no history of disability or inability. The mere desire not to work does not qualify you for SS.

        Please do not further torment this person by trying to claim support unnecessarily. I am a woman hurt by the system, one who made the choice to stand on my own two feet, go back to school, what ever it took to be self supportive and it pains me to read your post. You sound like a bright individual, and one who does not define herself by another, so why would you want to define yourself as being needful of the financial support of a person who sounds like he is standing by his obligations to his first family.


        • #5

          FL.."SS is for individuals incapable of self sustainability for whatever reason. I am very doubtful you would win a case for SS as you have no history of disability or inability. The mere desire not to work does not qualify you for SS."

          Great point you make as I'm in the same boat with my ex CL who REFUSED to workeven part time during the relationship and expects FULL SS to cover all costs of living on her own. CS is no problem for me. I have offered short term $$ to help out for SS but I'm very concerned that I'll be on the hooks for many years until she decides to get a job to help support herself. Ex worked before I came along and is fully able to now. But the 'I DESERVE' computer virus has set-in.


          • #6

            If you can support your claim that she was self supportive prior to the marriage, and merely "chooses" to not be employed then I suspect that your ex would, under normal circumstances, have a hard time winning a SS claim. You would also have to support that she is able, both physically and educationally to be self supportive now.

            However, you indicated that you voluntarily opted to provide money without an order, and you did this out of the goodness of your heart to help her out. This can, in my opinion, have two possible outcomes depending on how you present your case should she seek an official order. One would be that the judge would see that she is indeed capable, and that you already provided short term support to help her in the interim and she did not take that opportunity to become fully self supportive. And rule in your favour.

            The other would be that the judge would see your ability to pay in the past substantiates your ability to maintain the support, but hopefully with a limit on duration. And she may be awarded an extension on the SS and this may be greater than what you are already paying or some other amount. I hope the first case would hold true given that you voluntarily choose to help and she “voluntarily” chose to do nothing with it.

            Best of luck to you.


            • #7
              what about the money my mother gave me though. Can he bring up the $10,000 in court. It was a gift and i used it to purchase a car. Do I have to declare that as income


              • #8

                If you can document that this money was a gift from your mother, and some times this is difficult simply because courts know family tend to side with family. And there have been cases where individuals have tried to submit that they had a loan from a family member to claim against the matrimonial assets and the courts decided that these could not be used as I said before, family tend to side with family and will sign affidavits to help them. You almost would have to have a neutral party declare the money and they too would have to offer clear defining proof and not just the say so of a family member. Sorry, when money as gifts or loans are involved from family members it is a hard sell, doable, but not easy.



                • #9
                  I have consulted a lawyer, and I am entitled to support in the amount of 300-500 per month for a period of 3 - 4 years.

                  Just for everyones info.


                  • #10
                    I haven't been a posting member for long, so hopefully this isn't out of line, but I find myself utterly disgusted over your (beth's) want of money for the sake of getting money. You're a grown adult with an income, and an obvious ability to greatly increase your present income by moving into a 'full time' position (8 hours) of work per day; yet you are so bent on getting as much money from your ex as possible when you can certainly support yourself as you have no dependants. All you're doing, in my view, is using the court system to feed your greed.


                    • #11
                      LOL poor Beth, it would appear you have a lot to learn about family law and lawyers. The fact that a lawyer would tell you that you are entitled to any amount of spousal support based on what you have written so far, well lets just say maybe you should save your money and read a little. Anything is possible but basd on facts you stated you will be in for an uphill battle, IMO.

                      Oh and by the way going after your ex when you are already more than capable, not nice! Goodluck, NOT.....


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by beth15290
                        I have consulted a lawyer, and I am entitled to support in the amount of 300-500 per month for a period of 3 - 4 years.

                        Just for everyones info.
                        So, assuming the lawyer is right, you're talking about a minimum of $10,800 and a maximum of $24,000 based on your numbers above. Is it really worth it to drag you and your ex through the emotional strain of a lengthy court proceeding for that money, especially when you will easily pay $10,000 to that lawyer to represent you.

                        I say not worth it, let it go. Why not get your ex to give you first and last months rent to "get you on your feet" and then walk away looking forward.


                        • #13

                          I echo your position.
                          This is what makes it difficult for the honest individuals that "need" help and have no means or little self support.

                          If a person looks, they will certainly find a lawyer that is willing to go to court for them, they are in it for the money too. You're paying them to do your bidding, you pay them they go to court and do what you tell them.
                          Being able to find a person that will do this even though you're quite able to work still does not make it right you’re only lucky to have the lawyer willing to it.

                          It’s still awful to know people are manipulating the system to their benefit and at the expense of others. Do you not care that you would be taking away from this individual’s standard of living? Not to mention his children’s when they visit with him?
                          He needs to maintain himself in order to provide a decent place for his children to come and spend quality time with him. If he is unjustly paying you $500 a month how is he going to maintain that?


                          • #14
                            I agree with AndrewsKim

                            And Beth, I have news for you. When it comes to Spousal Support, no lawyer can tell you what you are entitled to. There are no "rules" or hard fast "calculations" that can ber made. It's highly subjective and you will have to prove that you have a need for this money and he has the means.

                            You are wasting everyone's time. Get a full time job and stop trying to leech off someone else.


                            • #15
                              I have spent a few days pondering how to tell Beth exactly what you have all been saying, but without actually slamming her. So, yeah, I agree with what everyone else has said. Move on and leave the guy alone.


                              There's just something about the way these posts are written. Beth's facts clearly show that she is not entitled. No candy coating at all.

                              I've had the distinct impression that our original poster is actually Beth's ex trying to figure out if she can hose him. Just sounds like the facts are coming from him, not her.

                              If that's the case, don't worry about it Beth's ex. I don't think a judge would rule in her favour.


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