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all the assets have been destroyed.

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  • all the assets have been destroyed.

    This is a continuation of my last post thread "exclusive possession question" for background on the saga look there. this is entirely new.

    I did go to my house. I took a witness, and a camcorder. They filmed, I walked around and took still shots. I am devastated, it is so much worse than what i thought.

    I walked onto the property and she comes out of the house waving the "angry lawyer letter" that threatened to seek another protection order if I come to the property. (fyi, I have no criminal record, i've never hurt her, and she used this to gain leverage last year, and actually had to go back twice because she was denied the first time)

    I responded that yes I had seen that letter, but that i am the lawful owner of the property too and I have given 24hrs notice and am going to inspect the property. (i stuck to this script throughout the whole time.)

    Here's just the outside:

    1. there is junk (tires, plywood, tarps, oil cans, piles of branches, piles of garbage) all over the property.

    2. the grass has not been mowed and is easily 18inches high, the garden and landscaping that i maintained exclusively has been completely taken over by the weeds, in fact, you can't even tell there was once a garden there except for the wood i had framing it.(couldn't even see that until you got up close and zoomed in with the camera)

    3. one of the gutters has been ripped from the house during the last snowstorm (January), the resulting roof run off has damaged the foundation. there are 6 places i noted where the gutter is overflowing, all on tape.

    4. the porch railing has been ripped off it's frame and is just lying on the ground with all the grass growing through it.

    5. window screens have been knocked out of the windows and the grass is growing through them as well. there is a pile of debris about 2 ft high under the master bedroom window. All together about six or seven separate piles of random junk all over the property.

    6. our propertys fencing has come down in many places, and there are trees that have fallen over the fence, and the fence is damaged, and the trees are still just left hanging on the fence.

    Now, the assets:

    The truck that i lovingly restored, and maintained (totally custom, over $10,000 in just parts alone) has been destroyed.
    1. it will need to be repainted, as the pollen, tree debris, bird droppings, algae, and moss are covering it.

    2. the engine bay has had animals living in it. they have ripped apart the heat shield, and some of the wiring, not to mention the rust on the engine. The truck was immaculate when I was looking after it.

    The RV's roof is covered in debris (i swept it off every spring and fall and and also washed, polished and waxed it often) there are cracks in the air conditioner housing, and there are so many pine needles on the top of the slide out that there has been a leak (the acidity of the pine needles has eaten away at the roof) and now there is a large soft spot in the slideout floor. there is no way to repair this damage. the outside is covered in lichen, the seams have moss growing in them, and the interior is filled with garbage. the outside is so bad in one part that you can't even read the manufacturers logo. the cost to repair all this exceeds the value of the RV.

    I bought a brand new wooden shed in summer 2012. the lock and hasp were ripped from the door frame with a crowbar, and the doors were left open. There is now extensive water damage around the foundation perimeter and the woodbugs (hundreds) are having a feast. (the video shows hundreds of them scampering about.)

    I then went to the front door and knocked. She wouldn't answer the door, so I tried my key, but she has changed the locks. I kept asking her to please open the door (keeping with the script- see above) first she said i could come back later at 1pm when her mom was going to be there, then she changed it to tommorrow then she changed it again to late monday afternoon. I asked for that in writing. based on my previous letter from the lawyer all shes trying to do is buy time to try and get another protection order. she won't have any evidance though.

    Heres the thing, the cops were expecting her call, because of my conversation with them. She did call them, and they wouldn't come!!! That just goes to show how her lies are not working anymore. at one point on the video I am seen asking her to let me in, so I can inspect the house, and (she was on the phone the whole time i was there) she starts shaking the door and the video clearly picked up her saying into the phone "he's trying to break in! he's trying to break in!!!!!" and you can clearly see me just standing at the door not even touching it. i made a note of that.

    When I got home I reviewed the tape. I had time to take it all in.... i'm devastated. I sent her an email again giving her 24hrs notice that I would be attending again today to inspect the inside of the house, based on the extreme neglect, and disrepair i was deeply concerned about the state of the inside of the house. I will again be taking the video camera and a witness.

    Im not sure how to proceed. I have to get her out of the house so I can maintain it. exclusive possession? (i would get renters in there), do I now amend my notice of family claim to unequal division based on the state of the assets? is willful neglect a legal term? is there caselaw on this? I need a legal term for this so I can get case law to back this up. I know shes detroyed everything, but can someone help me with the legal terminology??

    I almost hope that she denies me access again today, it will show her being unreasonable after me giving her 24hrs notice both days. Also, if she does try another protection order, I'll get it thrown out so fast based on the video that clearly shows her claiming i was trying to break in when i wasn't even anywhere near the door. it shows me being calm, gentle, and reasonable trying to work out a better time to come back even though i had already given 24hrs notice.

    thoughts? has anyone had an ex destroy the property? family assets? how do you proceed?

  • #2
    sorry to hear about your place.

    Do you have pictures of the home at the date that you left?

    How long have you been out of your place?


    • #3
      Quite an ordeal! I was wondering how it went .... The important thing is that you have this documented on film. Incredible stunt with her rattling the door and claiming it was you trying to break in!

      This will be useful in proving her false allegations - the police have better things to do than deal with hysterical spouses crying wolf.


      • #4
        i have pictures of the summer when i was there doing the roof, it shows the house immaculate, but i don't have pictures past then. If I can get into the house today i can document all the renos i did because i have pics the realtor sent me of what the house looked like when we bought it on the listing and I also have pictures from the home inspection report that was done.


        • #5
          i left the house a year ago. all this has happened over this past year. the outside most likely looks like the outside. Her fear of me coming to the house has nothing to do with me, it has everything to do with her not wanting me to see the state of what used to be my pride and joy.


          • #6
            Photos are good if they are recent to time you moved out. Any photos taken by friends when they were over close/near to the time you last occupied it?
            Birthday parties/bbq's?

            This may sound strange but check out your insurance policy. You might be covered for some of the damage.

            Debris isn't necessarily 'damage' and lawn can be cut and trash removed. Fences can be mended and door latches replaced.

            Sounds like she is squandering matrimonial assets by not maintaining the home.


            • #7
              This case has some interesting references with regards to not maintaining a property in marketable condition etc.



              • #8
                this is a good piece of case law, thank you. i know the debris can be cleaned up, i wasnt calling that damage i was calling that willful neglect. im going over in ten minutes, wish me luck.


                • #9
                  I'm sorry to hear your visit did not go well. One thing you may wish to consider is that if the property is in as bad shape as you say, there are probably several municipal bylaw violations (sanitation, fire hazard, health hazard, etc). You may wish to report this to your city bylaw enforcement officials, who can issue a ticket or a warning to your ex. Your local city councillor's office can tell you how to report a nuisance property. On the one hand, doing this sucks because the house is still in your name and so the violation is in your name too; on the other hand, it's a way to get independent and objective corroboration of the state of the property (and maybe even get your ex to clean it up a bit, or keep it from getting worse). Your ex would probably be mad if she figures out you made the complaint, but it sounds like she couldn't get much more hostile than she is now, anyway.


                  • #10
                    I know it's hard and I'm sorry you have to see all that.

                    But... that life is over now. Many of us lose everything in our divorces. Sometimes it takes 5 years or more to rebuild. Sometimes you can never get back to where you were when you married. I lost everything in my entire adult life and had to go hide in other people's basements for years while paying 70%+ of my gross salary every month.

                    Fast forward to today... I am renting a nice home, I have my own vehicle. I was finally able to get that big TV I wanted lol. It will get better.

                    The hardest part of divorce (emotionally) is being able to let go and detach from the previous life.


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by init'sowntime View Post
                      ... im going over in ten minutes, wish me luck.
                      Does anyone worry when a poster posts they are going to their ex's house, and you don't hear from them for 24 hours?


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by paris View Post
                        Does anyone worry when a poster posts they are going to their ex's house, and you don't hear from them for 24 hours?
                        Yes it is worrisome, as this poster was active for a while... I hope nothing bad happened and he didn't end up arrested


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by paris View Post
                          Does anyone worry when a poster posts they are going to their ex's house, and you don't hear from them for 24 hours?
                          I'm sure he's ok, there's no restraining order issued against him. Hopefully he brought a witness like he did last time as things can change quickly when it pertains to the MH, case in point:

                          For the last 2 years or so I have been asking my lawyer to please tell STBX to make arrangements to clear out his junk from the property.

                          I'm not exaggerating when I call his stuff JUNK ... old lumber, garage full of useless, rusted objects (27 years of accumulated clutter). In my opinion STBX suffers from some kind of hoarding problem among other issues.

                          Long story short - because of the 3 year restraining order, he must be accompanied by 2 officers to gain access to our property.

                          I get a call on Saturday from a police officer requesting my Ok for STBX to come clean up his hoard - fine with me that's what I wanted. Problem is they tell me that they will be arriving in one hour? One hour?


                          • #14
                            hmm when I click on his name to check his public profile I get that message that he isn't registered??


                            • #15
                              Hello everyone, thank you for all your support and good thoughts. the video i took of the inside of the residence sealed the deal. The damage was horrendus to say the least. I am now being offered a settlement of all matters between us as a cash settlement because the assets are now destroyed and worth nothing.

                              Her parents came in and rescued her yet again, but that is not my problem. fingers crossed that tomorrow i will have the agreement in my hands and signed.

                              For all of you out there, who have been wrongfully accused of abuse, I want to let you know, that videotaping everything has ended this, and it was the smartest thing Ive ever done. trust your gut. If I had taken that angry lawyer letter to heart and had not gone to the house , and if I had not called their bluff about slapping another protection order on me, I wouldn't be in the position i am in now.

                              in 24hrs, i might just be free to begin my new life as a free man.

                              ps I don't know why I keep showing up as unregistered I've wondered that too, but i don't know how to fix it. i wouldn't be here if I wasn't registered would i?
                              Last edited by init'sowntime; 04-28-2014, 10:59 PM. Reason: added a ps


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