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exclusive possession question

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  • #16

    Do you have the legal right to go the property? (you own it and have you have no court order in effect prohibiting you from going there)

    Do you intend to cause trouble for your ex?

    Have you notified her?

    If the answers to these questions are yes, no and yes, I think you are good to go. At this point, if you don't go after receiving her ranting email, you'll be teaching her that throwing a tantrum is an effective strategy. If you do go, you'll be demonstrating that you will act on your legal rights and behave like a reasonable person while doing so.

    Bring a neutral friend with you, and be prepared for the possibility that she won't let you into the property. I wouldn't challenge her physically or attempt to remove a deadbolt - too easy for that to be interpreted as assault or destruction of property. Show up, look at the place, and leave. If she wants to pursue some sort of protection order, she can do that, there's nothing you can do to prevent it. Do what you are legally entitled to do, stay within the boundaries of acceptable behavior, and let her react however she chooses to react.


    • #17
      so if she wont let me in theres nothing i can do?


      • #18
        all i want to do is see the inside of my house. that's it. i don't want to cause any trouble. she has let the outside go so much, and it needs a long list of repairs and maintenance on the outside, i can only imagine what the inside looks like.

        A friend was in there 6 months ago and said there was animal feces on the floor, moldy dishes in the sink, the floor had stacks of papers and crap pushed against the walls, kitchen cabinets were broken. that's just the kitchen and living room folks. apparently it stunk to high heaven in there too. He has always been impartial to both of us and has not taken sides. hes not much of a talker but he called to tell me because he was worried about her mental state.

        I'm very worried about the inside of my house. I am on title and mortgage but i for the last year have derived no benefit from any of it. the only reason she wants to keep me out is so i cant document it. if i don't get in tomorrow i likely never will again. what do i do?

        i keep trying to keep this out of court, and she keeps threatening trial. she has never filed for a trial date, and she knows because of my low income that i can't afford one, just like i can't afford a lawyer.


        • #19
          There's no risk for you with being on the property in order to clean things up, that's your right to do - knocking on the door or working outside is not illegal. Nothing to worry about there.
          Don't touch the deadbolt, that could possibly land you in hot water.
          If need be, take pictures of the inside of the house through some window? If it's as bad as you think it is, then you could get some kind of municipal order to gain legal access. If there's to be any 'deadbolt removing' let a sheriff do it.


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