At a loss...

[Trapped]

Now that is just bang out of order. Even me a die hard/religious/some might say hooligan etc English football fan (go my London Team), won't even ignore my child when my team is on the verge of scoring.

This is true.. you have 6 months, I just went through it myself. Moving before the holidays and in the middle of Winter is not fun by the way (never had to do before, was always in the spring/summer)

@Trapped.....

If you haven't already, please get yourself down to your local court house tomorrow at lunch time (am urging you), and ask to see / speak to the FLIC...it doesn't cost you a dime. The person will be able to further direct you to get the ball rolling

Make this your Valentine gift to yourself, and by end of Feb / March, you might be seeing some progress. Nothing is going to happen by remaining idle

The first half hour phone chat / consult with some lawyers is FREE....but they obviously want to reel you in, so watch out for shysters / snake oil sellers

Well, to be clear, when I was referring to his NHL game I was referring to the xbox game. When playing online apparently you can't pause the game and playing on your own time when the kids are in bed is not an option...

I will be calling my bank ASAP and see whether they can help me out.

As for FLIC, I caught wind of them when he was going through his custody stuff. Didn't occur to me to talk to them regarding this situation so thank you for the suggestion. I live only minutes from my local court house and should be able to do that no problem. I'm off work until thurs evening so the timing is definitely good.

I think I will still make an app with the lawyer I contacted as well. I did look him up online and saw many good reviews and mention of reasonable prices. Most found him to be compassionate and not out to just make a $/draw things out etc. They seemed to be pleased with his service. $175 is not a terrible cost to get some clarity and a potential game plan.

[arabian]

The best thing you can do is write notes before you go see this lawyer.

The lawyer will ask for your driver's license and likely take a photocopy of it. The lawyer will ask you questions about your finances (house, assets, liabilities, etc.) They do this in order to make sure you have the means to pay for them in the event that you end up retaining them. This is simply smart business on their part. Often people try to go from one lawyer to another to glean free information. This is likely why a free one-hour consult is no longer readily available.

I would recommend that you be as well prepared as possible prior to your initial meeting. Have a list of information ready:

Your name, address, contact numbers, employment
Your spouse's name, date of birth
Name and date of birth of all of your children
Important dates - date of habitation, and specific date you feel you separated.
Date you purchased your house

Then on another list you could have questions you want to ask him. Ask him if he's ever been in a court room. We've heard from many people on this forum who have lawyers only to find out later that the lawyer doesn't like to go to court.

If you want to retain him I would recommend asking him for names of references. Those on-line ratings are as questionable as on-line dating.

[FB_]

I see no reason for him to leave on his own...He's going to need a push and it will probably have to be a big one.

Get a real estate agent there and get a for sale sign on the house. Although it may be difficult to find an agent when only one party is willing to sell.

If that doesn't work get a court order to have the house sold. If anything the application to the court may let him no you are serious.

Only you can get this ball rolling, what you have been doing is clearly not working.

In my situation I spent a year trying to negotiate and things went no where. It was only when I got the courts involved that progress was made. You have no leverage at this moment. Your only leverage is court. You have the right to sell the house.

[FWB]

@Trapped.....

I live only minutes from my local court house and should be able to do that no problem. I'm off work until thurs evening so the timing is definitely good.

So did you use your time wisely today by bursting a move at steps to dispense of your xbox loving "excess luggage"?

[stripes]

One other thought: do you live near a university with a law school? Most law schools have legal aid clinics in which law students volunteer to assist the general public with inquiries. They aren't lawyers (yet) and so they can't represent you or give you "official" legal advice, but they can give you an idea of what your options are in your situation. It's good training for them, and it's a backup in case FLIC is really busy or hectic. Go on the university's web site and search for "legal aid clinic".

[Trapped]

@Trapped.....

So did you use your time wisely today by bursting a move at steps to dispense of your xbox loving "excess luggage"?

LOL, was only able to complete part of my tasks unfortunately. Visiting FLIC was not an option as he left and I had to be home to pick up kids from school etc. I did however get my name off the shared account, so that's something. Also called the lawyer back to request an app for consult and requested a call back from my bank to discuss possibly refinancing my mortgage with them.

Also confirmed that the "luggage" is cleared for work as of the 22nd so he is in a hurry to find employment. Looks like at least some things are working their way in the right direction.

[FB_]

You might want to consider writing him an official offer to settle.

The more options you give him the more likely you are to settle this out of court.
At this point you can make it pretty high level and maybe he will negotiate some of the details.

In the offer put the actual financial details of the cost of selling the house and how it will look make that one offer.

In another offer put the actual financial details of you buying him out of the house.

This way he will have on paper what he is getting out of each deal. Make sure it's itemized for example (all numbers fake)

Sale of house $230,000
Realtor fees - $11,500
Legal fees - $1500
Closing Costs - $1000
Total Proceeds - $216,000

Mortgage - $220,000
Mortgage penalty $3,000

Amount owing $7,000 / 2 = $3500 each

When he actually sees on paper that he will owe the bank money he may like your offer of giving him $3000 or whatever to walk away.

My ex didn't respond to any of these not even a counter offer but it was what was used as a starting point to settle 5 days before my scheduled long motion.

[FWB]

was only able to complete part of my tasks unfortunately.

Not at all, with kids (wee ones) (even those that aren't yours) and still able to work, it's understandable that your time isn't like that of most folks.

I did however get my name off the shared account, so that's something.

WICKED! (slang:Excellent)

Looks like at least some things are working their way in the right direction.

You can say that again.....Nothing like hearing/ seeing "sisters are doing it for themselves"

Just keep your eyes on the proverbial "prize" and chugger on

[Trapped]

You might want to consider writing him an official offer to settle.

The more options you give him the more likely you are to settle this out of court.
At this point you can make it pretty high level and maybe he will negotiate some of the details.

In the offer put the actual financial details of the cost of selling the house and how it will look make that one offer.

In another offer put the actual financial details of you buying him out of the house.

This way he will have on paper what he is getting out of each deal. Make sure it's itemized for example (all numbers fake)

Sale of house $230,000
Realtor fees - $11,500
Legal fees - $1500
Closing Costs - $1000
Total Proceeds - $216,000

Mortgage - $220,000
Mortgage penalty $3,000

Amount owing $7,000 / 2 = $3500 each

When he actually sees on paper that he will owe the bank money he may like your offer of giving him $3000 or whatever to walk away.

My ex didn't respond to any of these not even a counter offer but it was what was used as a starting point to settle 5 days before my scheduled long motion.

Thank you. I did in fact do this in early November. I even provided the numbers based on 3 different sale prices for the home and was as generous as to suggest we even sell at $15,000 above what we paid (wouldn't happen in this market and without some work on the house). Those figures didn't even include the cost of breaking the mortgage as I didn't know what that would be at the time. He ignored my email entirely as he thinks that because the house was appraised for tax purposes just after we bought at a slightly higher value that we will just get that lol. Only going to get what someone is willing to pay. Told him the other day to just go ahead and put the house up for sale and to figure it out on his own. He isn't willing to do the work himself so I guess we will see what happens and what my lawyer says at the consult. He really needs to educate himself so he actually *gets* the reality of the situation.

In the meantime I have contacted my bank to see if I would qualify for the mortgage on my own and I do with no issue. Hopefully I can work something out with the bank that has mortgage. Perhaps I can assume the mortgage or work something out so that there isn't some crazy penalty of 9-10,000. That's a Monday task...

[standing on the sidelines]

Thank you. I did in fact do this in early November. I even provided the numbers based on 3 different sale prices for the home and was as generous as to suggest we even sell at $15,000 above what we paid (wouldn't happen in this market and without some work on the house). Those figures didn't even include the cost of breaking the mortgage as I didn't know what that would be at the time. He ignored my email entirely as he thinks that because the house was appraised for tax purposes just after we bought at a slightly higher value that we will just get that lol. Only going to get what someone is willing to pay. Told him the other day to just go ahead and put the house up for sale and to figure it out on his own. He isn't willing to do the work himself so I guess we will see what happens and what my lawyer says at the consult. He really needs to educate himself so he actually *gets* the reality of the situation.

In the meantime I have contacted my bank to see if I would qualify for the mortgage on my own and I do with no issue. Hopefully I can work something out with the bank that has mortgage. Perhaps I can assume the mortgage or work something out so that there isn't some crazy penalty of 9-10,000. That's a Monday task...

ask them to waive the fee if you keep the mortgage with them.

[FWB]

ask them to waive the fee if you keep the mortgage with them.

Most financial institutions do that if you come back to them within 6 months. I recently went through this

[Trapped]

Most financial institutions do that if you come back to them within 6 months. I recently went through this

Definitely going to see what they say. My mortgage is with Firstline and they basically decided to close their doors and not take on any further mortgages. Upon maturity of the existing mortgage they will seek for you to renew with CIBC. Not sure what that's ultimately going to mean for me but I guess I'll find out soon enough.

[Rioe]

In the meantime I have contacted my bank to see if I would qualify for the mortgage on my own and I do with no issue. Hopefully I can work something out with the bank that has mortgage. Perhaps I can assume the mortgage or work something out so that there isn't some crazy penalty of 9-10,000. That's a Monday task...

There is something that can be done called releasing him from the mortgage. That takes his name off and you keep trucking along with the same mortgage terms.

The catch is that he has to be off title first, which involved real estate lawyers and associated fees, and he must sign documentation, so he has to be cooperative.

This is what I had to do.

[FWB]

Not sure what that's ultimately going to mean for me but I guess I'll find out soon enough.

CIBC lending rate is currently at 2.45% if am not mistaken