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  • support/pension

    I left my ex after 12 years of living common law with two children and one on the way. We briefly split five years ago due to his drinking and I was stupid enough to go back after he promised to change. Question. Can I only go back five years as a result for spousal support and pension? (He made over 100k last year, me 30k).

    I hadn't planned on asking for anything other than child support as he threathened to quit his job if I tried, but at the rate I am going it's not going to matter. I have already agreed to lower child support payments by $500.00 a month less than guidelines to make him happy and asked for an equal split of the home. Nothing else. Now he is coming back demanding to lower it further by $400.00 a month and wants up to $15 thousand more from our house than me (as he made more money and paid the downpayment). The home is mortgaged to the both of us. I worked full time but was the primary caregiver to our children so that he could advance in his job and make the income that he did and feel I contributed equally, if not financially. After all we were a family.. until he decided to have a affair.

    Now I am on maternity leave and have just started recieving payments after a nine week wait. I have been living from credit and last week he defaulted on his support payment. He reminded me that because we still have no formal agreement in place (he won't sign one unless I agree to his terms) then 'technically' he isn't required to pay child support. That he was just paying it to be nice... until now. I guess my kids don't need to eat until FRO gets involved. Question: Will a court issue back payments for the time he missed?

    Re the house. He refused to move out and is now fighting me on putting it up for sale. I understand that here in Ontario at this point I could be waiting until January to get a court date set to force him to put the house up. Question, is there another way around this or is a court date the only option. I also assume that when the house is sold the money will have to go in trust if he does not agree to an equal split. Am I right or is there another way to get the funds quicker? As I said financially this is very straining and I am running out of available credit to borrow until this is settled.

  • #2
    estella,

    without knowing all the complete background of the relationship, it is difficult to comment on the spousal support issues.

    In regards to child support, if the children are living primarily with you, the individual should be paying a tabled amount of child support for the children, regardless if there is an order or agreement in place. Generally a court will only order arrears back to the date of application as BOTH parent's have an equal obligation to provide support for the children. It is essential that you do get some sort of agreement or court support order in place that reflects the child support guidelines. If he isn't willing to pay the proper guideline amount, then you should bring forth an application with the courts. If he quits his position, he pretty much euchred himself. Courts will not think highly of this conduct and most likely will input an income to reflect his previous earnings. It a lose lose situation for him as if he does follow through with the threat, as he most likely will lose the remainder of his assets, etc. You really can't worry about what he does. Call his bluff and follow through with an application and claim tabled child support to reflect his income.

    Don't be intimidated by his threats. Child support tables are in place to determine the amount that should be paid without any doubts. It is a given that you will get the tables amount.

    That he was just paying it to be nice... until now. I guess my kids don't need to eat until FRO gets involved. Question: Will a court issue back payments for the time he missed?
    FRO will not get involved in the matter until a court issues a support deduction order and or a separation agreement is filed with the courts and from that the court Registrar issues an SDO to FRO. Courts will only order a retro amount to the date of application. Any amounts prior to application, really can't count on.

    Re the house. He refused to move out and is now fighting me on putting it up for sale. I understand that here in Ontario at this point I could be waiting until January to get a court date set to force him to put the house up. Question, is there another way around this or is a court date the only option. I also assume that when the house is sold the money will have to go in trust if he does not agree to an equal split. Am I right or is there another way to get the funds quicker? As I said financially this is very straining and I am running out of available credit to borrow until this is settled.
    Basically you are at the mercy of the courts if you cannot come to terms to sell the home. Even a Realtor will not be able to list the home and put it on the market unless both registered owners sign the real estate contract. With that said, you only option is to bring forth an application with the courts to sell the home. Generally on a new application, 60 days before a first appearance, a meeting with the Registrar to confirm the issues and that all the paperwork is in place served and filed. If everything is a go, generally on the same day a first case conference will occur. From that case conference no significant orders other than procedural as "no sworn affidavits have been served to date. The Judge may recommend that the case is to proceed by way of motion or a subsequent case conference or settlement conference.

    You best bet is to start the case and bring forth an interim motion for support issues. I suspect at the case conference, the Judge will recommend that he start paying tabled amount of child support.

    I suspect he is trying to break you financially and quite frankly you really don't need the stress right now considering you have a child on the way and other children to care for. The individual appears to be some sort of controlling power hungry individual from what you have mentioned.

    lv

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    • #3
      Changed the locks

      My ex has now changed the locks on the doors. I was supposed to go in today and get things ready for an agent. Since my name is on the mortgage as co-owner can he do that? He informed me that i need to give him 24 hours notice before I went into the house and that I was breaking laws by going in with an agent to assess to house. He told me that this house was his only leverage and is using it against child support. (As I said he is trying to force me to take half of the tabled guidline support.)

      Comment


      • #4
        estella,

        as you mentioned

        My ex has now changed the locks on the doors. I was supposed to go in today and get things ready for an agent. Since my name is on the mortgage as co-owner can he do that? He informed me that i need to give him 24 hours notice before I went into the house and that I was breaking laws by going in with an agent to assess to house. He told me that this house was his only leverage and is using it against child support. (As I said he is trying to force me to take half of the tabled guidline support.)
        Is you name listed on the deed (title) to the property? If so, really he has no authority to change the locks, if he does he has to give you a set of keys and you are also entitled to enter the premises without notice after all you would be considered a co-owner.

        Child support is a separate issue. The only way to have this obligation is to be in hardship or a joint shared custody regime. The table amount is a given by default of the law. Don't be coerced by his opinion of the law.

        lv

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        • #5
          deed

          Yes my name is on the deed. I am just as much an owner as he is. Difference between us is that I moved out. Because of that he feels thats I am no longer allowed back without permission. He considers it his house now (which I know is wrong).

          As for child support, I know that they are seperate, but he is using one to try and force me into the other. I guess thats a battle for the court however.

          Thanks for the advice!

          Comment


          • #6
            Estella,

            If he gives you any problems, get a copy of the deed and mortgage and keep them handy. If you feel for your safety, Arrange with the police department for entry into the premises. Technically speaking you do have a right to entry at any given time and without notice. There isn't anything he can do other than get a restraining order forbidding your entry into your home. I do suspect if the police were present, you will have no problems whatsoever.

            I would move ahead a file an application for custody and tabled child support in the interim. You pretty much gave him a chance to negotiate, time to pressure on his end. For the sake of the children's livelihood, you need to get the tabled child support flowing.

            lv

            Comment


            • #7
              post secondary

              Just wondering if post secondary education has to be decided when an orgional agreement is signed. Along with everything else that he is doesn't want to pay, post secondary is one of them. I know that a court order is going to be necessary but I would like for now to keep the waters calm until he signs papers for the house. If he doesn't do that then I may have to wait too long for a court date to have this house on the market. At this point I am willing to sign any agreement as long as our sale of the house is there.

              Comment

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