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  • He Wont Leave

    We've been common law 20 years and have a 19 year old daughter together who is in university. The house, vehicles, everything is in my name. He has never had a real job: just does odd jobs for cash. Although I have always asked him to get a job, he never has. I pay the mortgage and all the bills. He will occasionally pay for groceries but mostly I do. He pays for any extras, new TVs or whatever, when he can. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. He does any renovations when required. The only regular chore he does is take out the garbage. There has been no intimacy in the relationship for about three years now. I am sick of pulling all the weight and have asked him to leave on several occasions but he refuses as he believes he is entitled to half of everything. I disagree. I have seriously considered selling the house so he has no choice but to leave but I really don't want to uproot my daughter while she is still in school. How can I make him leave ?

  • #2
    I don't know but, do you clean fish and own a boat


    • #3
      the fact that he does renovations my help him out in regards to the house. he may have a claim for unjust enrichment.


      • #4
        In my opinion, the renovations he did counts toward his rent as he never paid for anything. He doesn't have the money to go see a lawyer anyway. I just want him to leave.


        • #5
          Did you own the house before you became common law? Or was it purchased while you were together?


          • #6
            By the way, it sounds to me by your original post that you are the bread winner.

            You better hope he doesn't smarten up and get a lawyer because I see you paying indefinte Spousal Support in your future.


            • #7
              Not sure how it is your province, but in mine, property is not divided 50/50 in common law relationships. A lot of people think it is, but it's not. What's yours is yours and what's his is his. If there's a dispute about the house, then who's name is on the deed? If both your names are on there, then it's 50/50. If only one person's name, then that person owns it - not the other person.

              With this said, he can make claim to a portion of the home under unjust enrichment. However, whatever he claims, he must be able to prove. If he provided labour for renos, then he needs to have some receipts to prove that supplies were bought and used on the home with his labour. If he paid some bills, which enabled you to pay all the mortgage, then he needs receipts to show what he paid.

              The same holds true for you; if you claim to have paid for all (or most) things, then have receipts to back it up. It looks like you'll have a court battle ahead, so start getting your paperwork and receipts organized now.

              As mentioned earlier, you will be on the hook for spousal support. If he's smart, he'll claim that he was a stay-at-home dad all these years.

              How to get him to leave? Phone the police. His name is not on the deed, so he doesn't own the place. If that doesn't work, phone a lawyer and get advice about how to get a court order directing him to leave. On second thought, phone a lawyer and get advice as your first step.


              • #8
                the police will not get him to leave even if his name is not on the deed. Talk to a lawyer and get the lawyer to send him a letter with a time limit to move out. Might as well get the ball rolling.


                • #9
                  The house was purchase when we were together and it is in my name only. He did not contribute financially toward the purchase. I am the bread winner but not by choice. He would just never get a proper job - odd jobs for cash only. I couldn't even tell you how much he makes. He doesn't even have a bank account. I have had enough and want him out. I guess I'll have to see a lawyer. Thanks for your input.


                  • #10
                    I'm not sure how far you'll get with the "not by choice" argument. I'm sure there are men out there, who had a stay-at-home wife (not by choice), but there still on the hook for spousal support. Whether is was your preference or not, the reality is that you supported him for 20 years.


                    • #11
                      See a lawyer is the best advice so far.

                      You need to get an order for exclusive possession of the home. As it was purchased DURING your relationship, yes he has a claim on it as with anything purchased during the relationship. He can argue that you supported him for the last 20 years, and whether or not it was "by choice" that doesn't change the fact you did in fact support him, and could be on the hook to continue to do so.

                      In the meantime, cut off EVERYTHING except the necessities. Freeze any joint accounts, credit cards, lines of credit, etc and get a separate bank account JUST for you. Do NOT access is online from the family computer, do NOT have a bank statement mailed. Keep the bank card in a secure location. (locked trunk of a car he has no key for, etc). Cut the cable, internet, and home phone (Get a cell and carry it with you). Get him off your car insurance if he's there, change carrier's if you need to. Get a video camera, and while is he out some afternoon, video the contents of the home in their entirety. Buy a copy of that days paper to establish the date it was taken.

                      Buy ONLY food he hates, or eat somewhere else. Do ONLY your own laundry, let him worry about his. If you haven't already, move into a separate bedroom and install a lock on the door. If you are sleeping in the same bed as he is, you can't claim you are separated.

                      After 90 days, file the form RC65 (marital status change) with the CRA and indicate you are separated. This helps to establish the date of separation.

                      You want to encourage him to either leave, or deal with you fairly. He won't do that as long as he's able to sit at home and do whatever he pleases all day.

                      Gather the paperwork for ANY assets you can find, cars, ATV's, the house, etc. and get it to a safe spot. (Safety deposit box in only your name, a friend's place, a drawer at work, etc)


                      • #12
                        the changing of marital status with the government is a nightmare. We separated in dec of last year but even though our signed separation agreement has that date they would not accept it. So in the governments eyes we were separated as of july 28 this year as that was the last night he spent in the house and I changed the locks as i bought the house.

                        Maybe offer the guy 5 grand to go away. You will probably spend more then that on lawyers, or wait till he is away some night and change the locks and let him go to a lawyer to try and get back into the house.


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