Asset protection trust!

[Concerned]

Hello,

I am single. I do have assets and money saved up. If I get married, can an asset protection trust protect *all* my assets no matter what happens in the event of a divorce?

all feedback appreciated !

rob

[winterwolf7]

A fair question for a lawyer, imo. A free consult would probably tell you the answer.

My opinion is that if you had a prenup - maybe. Although I have heard it is harder and harder to properly enforce prenups these days.

Otherwise, as soon as you married, the home and its contents because a "matrimonial home" and both partners get half no matter how long they have been together or what each has actually contributed to it.

Other assets besides a home will be equalized. If you had $200k in savings when you entered the marriage but only $100k left at the end of the marriage, your ex would have to pay back half the difference or $50k if I understand correctly.

The very short answer is that if you are marrying someone with unequal financial standing, you will almost definitely lose the shirt off your back, your house and the majority of your income for many years if you divorce and they will take you to the cleaners based on how family law is structured.

Marry upwards in financial standing, or to someone at least in the same bracket as you (no more than 40% difference between salaries) to stand half a chance at walking away with both legs still attached.

I married for love and worked hard for years to support my partner after she graduated but never successfully started her career. The problem with that situation is, the marriage ended, she took everything and I am still stuck supporting her for years to come. More people need to consider the business contract aspect of marriage... but no one ever does until it's far too end.

[Concerned]

"I married for love and worked hard for years to support my partner after she graduated but never successfully started her career. The problem with that situation is, the marriage ended, she took everything and I am still stuck supporting her for years to come. More people need to consider the business contract aspect of marriage... but no one ever does until it's far too end."

Well, you tell me, how two people in *love* are supposed to discuss such taboo issues. I mean, I as a man, how the hell am I supposed to tell the women I love that she is to sign a document stating that whatever I own is mine and will always be mine even if we divorce. How does one even begine this sort of conversation, not to mention the recursive effects of such a conversation resulting in a relation split up!!!!

This is easier said than done. That's why many just don't do it.

cheers.
r<!-- / message --><!-- edit note -->

[billm]

Well, you tell me, how two people in *love* are supposed to discuss such taboo issues. I mean, I as a man, how the hell am I supposed to tell the women I love that she is to sign a document stating that whatever I own is mine and will always be mine even if we divorce. How does one even begine this sort of conversation, not to mention the recursive effects of such a conversation resulting in a relation split up!!!!

This is easier said than done. That's why many just don't do it.

cheers.
r<!-- / message --><!-- edit note -->

First - if you can't talk to her about things that are on your mind and reasonable (which this is), then your probably headed for divorce.

Second, ignoring the possibility of divorce is silly because of its statistical likelihood - and they all started with the thought that it would last forever.

Finally, she should be more than willing to say that she does not want what you brought into the marriage if ends. And, she should be willing to put that into writing, and not be mad at you for taking action to make that happen. It's only people with other motives that refuse to sign things they say they agree to.

A prenup and actions to secure your finances will help your relationship in that it will establish the two of you as a team, yet each ultimately responsible for your own financial situation.

[winterwolf7]

You can't always control who your heart ends up with, but honestly if you are planning to marry someone there should be NO conversation that is taboo. That's something else I've learned. For example, I figured my wife would "grow into" our sex life as we spent years together even if she was relatively shy and disinterested in anything sexual when we met. Turns out the opposite was true. What started out as a trickle quickly became a desert and was a big contribution to our divorce. There should have been a lot more communication about our sexual interests and expectations before we got married.

It's kind of a mixed sign that your posting questions on this forum BEFORE marriage, but learning about Family Law is definitely a good idea. If family law was a little more fair we'd all be a little less jaded on these forums, but it's really a huge disadvantage to be financially better off than your partner at any point during the marriage.

[Concerned]

Yes I know this. But its simply easier said than done. But I hear what you are saying.
r

[locoroco]

Totally agree. I mentioned prenup and my fiance freaked. Said I was planning for our failure. Well 4 months into marriage she takes off and is going after all she can. I had lots of assets she had none. Dont let love fool you like I did.

[Concerned]

Incredible... I don't even know how the law allows such torture to take place.
good luck my good freind...

r

[winterwolf7]

Well, first and foremost Family Law isn't designed to protect families, children or anyone else. It's designed to make the most money for the most amount of people possible. And the only way for it to make money is for it to take that money away from the people who have it to begin with... the primary breadwinners of Canada's families.

Say hello the clerks, lawyers, therapists, psychologist, pharmaceuticals, judges and more.

If you think the wedding is expensive, the divorce is typically two to ten times the cost. And it can be much higher quite commonly. My wedding cost about 15k. The divorce 6 years later cost me 15k in legal fees plus 21k in settlement plus 40k in spousal support or 76k. I don't know what my partner paid in legal fees but the rest of the money is in her pocket.

That was for a relatively fast settlement (11 months) and no court costs. We settled a week before the first case conference.

[locoroco]

I'm in Alberta and the law is different thankfully. Only the difference in value from day of marriage to date of separation or trial is used. So if it didn't go up then nobody gets anything. But it doesn't stop the other person from fighting causing you to pay for a lawyer. Plus all the other bs.

Just stay single. It's easier lol

[winterwolf7]

The answer to your original question, can you protect your assets in the event of a divorce...

You might, just maybe, be able to protect most of them from your former spouse. But guaranteed the "Divorce Industry" surrounding Family Law will thank you for your contribution no matter what.

[shellshocked22]

You're wise to ask for input before you get married. I wish I had lol ! Honestly though, at a minimum, make sure she signs a pre-nup prepared by your lawyer (make sure he/she knows what they are doing). If she won't sign, you should walk away NOW !

Don't get conned by that "you don't love me" crap ! I'm guessing you have collision insurance on your car; does that mean you are planning to crash into a phone pole ? Like it or not, there's roughly a 50% chance you'll divorce and you need to understand family law will screw the higher wage earner (usually the guy) big time !

Even a good pre-nup is only partly helpful. Child support you can't get out of - don't get me wrong, most guys will want to support their kids BUT the amount is ridulously high taking into account you can't deduct it AND there is NO accountability as to how its used. That is, unless the kids are starving, she (usually) can blow 80% of it and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. The government doesn't care how its spent; ironic given they will break your legs to get you to pay and then they will gladly let the recipient blow the bulk of it however they choose (ie not on the kids).

don't think marriage means she will be "committed" to you. If she sees something more appealing on FAcebook she can dump you in a heartbeat and the family law system will help her bankrupt you.

Don't think I'm joking; you WILL be scewed over big time.

If you're still crazy enough to get married, make sure...

-good pre-nup to protect you
-include limits on spousal support
-make sure you marry someone who makes at least the same as you or even better yet MORE

Don't let "love" make you make a decision that can ruin your life. AT the end of the day, its all about the almighty Dollar. If you don't believe it, ask the guys on here that have been screwed over big time just because their wife gets "bored".

If I had to do it over again, I would NOT get married or common law. Assuming I get out of this alive, I will NEVER get married or live common law with a girl again. the sooner you accept that you will get destroyed financially and emotionally the better you will be.

Best of luck.....

[billm]

I don't regret getting married.

I would get married again.

We had nothing when we got married. I spent very little on the wedding and the separation. I have my kids half the time, I think the CS amounts I pay are reasonable, and the SS I pay is a reasonable business like conclusion to the financial aspect of our marriage.

This forum represents the worst case scenario - the loud minority. Cover your ass(ets), but trust that mostly it is worth it.

Living alone for the rest of your life to avoid the financial unrest from a possible future separation? That would be an unfortunate way to live life.

[locoroco]

I see your point billm but it sounds like your separation went quite smooth. Now try to understand how those of us who went though a pile of emotional and financial pain feel, who's children were used as a weapon to hurt you. Those of us who tried 110% to make our marriage's work only to have the other person just walk away with zero consequences for their actions.

Its not like you have to swear a life of celibacy. There's plenty of people out there you can share your life with without tying it together financially.

I'm too soon into my separation to say for sure which way I'd go. Right now staying single sure sounds appealing. Especially now that I have a baby on the way. After all this it doesn't seem like the positives of marriage outweigh the 50% chance you will experience the negatives of divorce.

[ddol1]

everyone here will have pros and cons, usually the most negative are the most vocal. for me......i am ending a second marriage of almost 25 years, three really good kids that pushed our limits a few times for sure but it kept us alive trying to keep up! Trade it - never, life is worth a shot and part of that is a family with kids natural or adopted - my kids have been the best part of my life.

marriage 1 - we were young, married 2 years, living in Florida at the time and we decided we made a mistake and our life goals were - we weren't happy then and i was determined not to bring a child into this world with her. We both went to the same lawyer and asked how, paid him I beleive $100 for his help and then it was a simple no property, no children uncontested (our wait was 30 days seperated? not very long. Oh and court fee to sit in front of a judge in his chambers, swear to our statement - $149 (reduced to $50 because we didn't have $149......the main reason for the divorce as she spent it faster than it could be earned and I can't live like that!).

Canada - find out that we have maditory classes (1 or 2??) at the Family Court House to learn about the process of divorce and to try and avoid using the courts and get it done thru mediation (have not done it yet)...
First thing in my head when i heard that? Why the F don't they make a course manditory before they let two people get married???? No excuses for anything then because if or even if we were young and foolish or in our 40's the hard rules of Family Law, Divorce and what we struggle with today..... There would be no surprizes - young, old, rich or poor - legally love has nothing to do with it - already said...... $$$$$$$ that is what it ALL breaks down to - nothing else in the eyes of the "divorce machine".

Marriage two - married the girl next door (we grew up since we were 4 years old across the road from each other). First met 46 years ago, played with her almost everyday growing up, 24 years of married life and - she could not adjust to a husband who was no longer able to bring home the bacon and she said "divorce"...... niether one of us knew that my misfortune means that we will be tied at the hip financially for the rest of my life. Oh, and life will not be that easy for her as she thought.....