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Am I being childish or is this wrong?

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  • Am I being childish or is this wrong?

    We are separated and I am paying 80/20% when it comes to medical etc expenses. I just received another bill for almost $600 in regards to a dentist visit. I have no problem with paying what is required but I’m feeling a bit used about this one. The kids needed fillings and she went and asked for the white fillings and not the silver. One is covered by insurance and one is not.
    <O</O
    Is this correct? It just seems like a never ending string of bills bills bills from this person.
    <O</O
    Thanks in advance.

  • #2
    Presumably the 20% is just as 'painful' to pay as the 80% is to you. It cost her proportionally just as much, yet she decided to do it, despite it not being covered by insurance.

    So you have a difference of opinion about white (pay) & silver (free).

    Did she know silver was covered and white not at the time?

    She should have asked you, considering this was not a necessary expense, and they are your children as well.

    If you really are not willing to have the white fillings, tell her that next time you will not pay and in the future to talk to you first before buying optional expenses that she expects you to help pay for.

    Depending on the history, you may refuse to pay this - do you owe the dentist or her? However, it seems like the kind of thing that a judge would order you to pay, given that it was already done, it would be significant cost proportionally to her to cover it all, and it will be a rare occurrence.

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    • #3
      it is a tough one - I had to have mine changed from the white to the silver because the white's were not holding up...... I think fair would be your insurance plan rules - anything above should perhaps have a different split not so one sided...... but then again many dentists will not use silver - ever. I have been told that a few times. It would not be wrong to discuss this with the dentist to see what he/she thinks is best for your kids?

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      • #4
        ok I will like to add that perhaps I learn something everyday too - Billm points out the split is what it is for a reason and it wasn't a free ride for your ex either. I would speak to your children's dentist - in the end I think you both would want the best you can for your kids if possible?

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        • #5
          is there a chance the the fillings were in teeth that would show up when the kid smiled or something like that. My dentist uses silver but where it will show she uses the white.

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          • #6
            There is some controversy re the use of dental amalgam.
            Dental amalgam controversy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

            *I* think that you don't look good on this. The kids need fillings. Mom is trying to do the best for her kids. Especially if the filling is in a visible place. Especially if your kid is a girl - OK that was sexist. I would pay the bill.

            PS: have braces been commissioned yet? look to 6K per kid and look at your lifetime orthodontia limit per person - 2k?

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            • #7
              I have an ex that has 100% dental coverage for our child and refuses to pay for the wisdom teeth extraction. So I have to take him back to court in order for him to stand up and be a father. This is ridiculous for sure and I am sure a judge wil also see that. I have to pay for the extraction and then sue him to get my money back because I have no dental coverage. Ex hasnt taken into account the years prior that I have paid and said nothing. I am so sick and tired of his crap that now he has pushed a for a contempt filing and I will pick apart his life since the final order was issued up until now. I know in long run he is opening a can f worms that should never see the light of day but this was teh last straw.

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              • #8
                I know that I may be in the minority here but I think the kids should have been given the silver. When I was growing up, I got lots of filings done and they were all silver. Yes a parent should do what is best for her kids, hence getting the filings done in the first place but that in no way means that the parent has to cater to vanity.

                If you want to be vain, take care of your teeth and you won't have to worry about getting white or silver filings. Also, I think that if the kids can actually see the dental work in their mouth (and if they don't like the look of it), then they would be more inclined to take care of their teeth.

                But, hey that's just my 2 cents.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by North of You View Post
                  We are separated and I am paying 80/20% when it comes to medical etc expenses. I just received another bill for almost $600 in regards to a dentist visit. I have no problem with paying what is required but I’m feeling a bit used about this one. The kids needed fillings and she went and asked for the white fillings and not the silver. One is covered by insurance and one is not.
                  <o</o
                  Is this correct? It just seems like a never ending string of bills bills bills from this person.
                  <o</o
                  Thanks in advance.
                  1. Who has the decision making regarding the dental work. Is custody joint? If so... You should have been consulted regarding the fillings.

                  2. I am assuming the 80/20 on the S.7 expense is established. What you pay is what you pay. Billm addressed this quite well. If you do have joint custody just ask the other parent in the future to consult with you per the custody arrangement so the proper thing for the dental work can be done.

                  3. Separated or living together the bills bills bills will come. They would still have to be paid.

                  Good Luck!
                  Tayken

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by littleman View Post
                    I have an ex that has 100% dental coverage for our child and refuses to pay for the wisdom teeth extraction. So I have to take him back to court in order for him to stand up and be a father. This is ridiculous for sure and I am sure a judge wil also see that. I have to pay for the extraction and then sue him to get my money back because I have no dental coverage. Ex hasnt taken into account the years prior that I have paid and said nothing. I am so sick and tired of his crap that now he has pushed a for a contempt filing and I will pick apart his life since the final order was issued up until now. I know in long run he is opening a can f worms that should never see the light of day but this was teh last straw.
                    Am I understanding you: Your ex has a 100% coverage dental plan but he's refusing to cover (required) dental treatment for your kid(s)?

                    If so, that's bizarre and will not look good on him at all.

                    An SA should have a section on medical/dental coverage - it should state that you both have to keep the kids covered (if you have a plan available, of course) and that you have to coordinate your coverage such that maximum refunds are realized.

                    I don't think I've ever heard of someone refusing to cover their kids under their dental plan... wow

                    Cheers!

                    Gary

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by stressedmama View Post
                      I know that I may be in the minority here
                      Don't bet on it

                      Cheers!

                      Gary

                      Comment

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