Access

[LondonFather]

Hey all,

So I am looking to do an order of settlement on a motion where my ex attempted to take away my parenting time. Her lawyer wrote up something.. and it describes me having access. Up to this point I have been involved in every choice, decision in our child's life. Is agreeing to something worded around me having access limiting myself and changing the status quo? or should it be worded differently? Thanks.

[Mess]

You're about to sign something binding and you haven't received independent legal advice? Don't.

[staysingle]

Can you post what the document reads verbatim. ( REMOVE ALL references to any personal info or info that can identify). Lets us have a look at it !

Listen to Mess, do not sign this without legal review and a thorough understanding up the implications once signed!

[LondonFather]

1. The Respondent shall have parenting time with the child ....

follows:
a. every Tuesday evening, with pick up at the childcare provider and returning Wednesday
morning to the childcare provider;
b. every other weekend from Friday evening, with pick up at the childcare provider and returning
Monday morning to the childcare provider; and
c. every other Thursday evening on weeks when the Respondent does not have weekend access,
with pick up at the childcare provider and return Friday morning to the child care provide

2. Neither party shall discuss the ongoing court proceedings nor make any comments about the other party
with the child’s daycare providers.

3. Both parties shall have equal access to the daycare provider for drop-off/pick-up, and to be informed of
any concerns regarding the child’s well being.





This is what they wish to have me sign. They replaces access with Parenting time when I said I didn't want access there, but really its the same thing. I can talk to duty counsel, but I am a little scared that the wording might some how change the status quo of shared custody.

[wretchedotis]

throw in "without prejudice" somewhere in the beginning.

[staysingle]

Have you thought about holidays, Christmas, Fathers day, birthdays, March break, summer holidays. Have you thought about right of first refusal eg. if she is unable to care for the children, you get the first opportunity to do so.

Here is a few clauses in my agreement to familiarize yourself with the language and concepts.

1) The Applicant and the Respondent shall have joint and shared custody of the children.

2) Each party shall have the right to obtain any medical, educational and other information from third party's themselves.

3) Neither party shall speak ill of the other party in front of the children, nor allow others to speak ill of the other parent in front of the children.

4) The children shall always spend Father's Day with the father and Mother's day with the Mother.

5) The Applicant shall have the children in her care on Dec. 25th in even numbered years till 12 noon and the Respondent shall have them in odd numbered years. The rest of the Christmas holiday period shall be alternated between the parties with the Respondent having the children in odd numbered years and the applicant having the children in even numbered years.

6) The Applicant shall have the children for March Break in even numbered years commencing in (2012) and the Respondent shall have them in odd numbered years commencing in (2013)

7) During the summer months the children shall be with the Applicant in August in even numbered years commencing in (2012) and in July in odd numbered years commencing in (2013) The Respondent shall have the children in July in even numbered years commencing in (2012) and in August in odd numbered years commencing (2013)

8) The parties may amend or vary any part of this residency arrangement upon the consent of both parties.

9)Extraordinary expenses (section 7) for the children shall be shared between the parties in proportion to their incomes at the time such expenses are incurred, subject to the consent of the parties, such consent not to be unreasonably withheld.

10) The parties shall exchange pertinent income tax information each year on or before July 1st, commencing July 1st 2012.

11) The terms of these Minutes of Settlement are to be enforced by any local police agency having jurisdiction pursuant to the provisions of the Children"s Law Reform Act.

12) Should either party be charged with a criminal code or controlled substance and drug Act offense or their diver's license has been suspended they shall immediately notify the other party.

13) Each party shall pay their own costs incurred in this proceeding.

Dated at ( PLACE) this (__nd day of (MONTH), 2011


I hope this gives you an idea of other issues you may not have considered that can be vitally important. Generally speaking try and get firm times on holidays etc. Usually the more detail the peace between the parties. If your dealing with a personality disorder work everything out to the minute

[anotherSTEPmother]

I agree with staysingle, what they have sent you does not have nearly enough information in it. Not to mention that this agreement that they are proposing will become useless once the child becomes school age.

Keep the information that they have proposed if this is acceptable for ongoing access.

BUT add the custody information. Do NOT make the mistake of looking over all of the details that staysingle has included.

I would also indicate that on your weekends that fall on a long weekend or (PA day once the child is in school) that you get the extra access time.

I would also include a provision with regards to travel and the handling of the child's identification.

Make sure everything is spelled out so that if you get into an arguement in the future that there is absolutely NO ROOM FOR ERROR.

This is the best way to do it and many children/parents alike suffer from ambiguous agreements.