Husband M.I.A.

[chaos]

I'm wondering if anyone has experience or suggestions with regards to my situation.

Little bit of background info...

My husband and I separated in August of 2004. We were together for 12 years, married for 6. I have 3 children from a previous marriage (23, 19 and 16). Two days before Christmas 2004, he spoke with my daughter and and told her that he would see her on Boxing Day. Up to this point he had kept the lines of communication open with all the children. Neither the children, or myself, have heard from, or seen him since that date.

Due to circumstances, I was place on Ontario Works and they assigned an officer (in Cost Recovery) to begin legal proceedings in regards to support. Our first court appearance was June of 2005. I was present, he was not.

It would seem that we are at a dead end. He quit his job in August 2005. I am certain he is currently working but, I have no idea where. The officer in Cost Recovery tells me her hands are tied. I have followed through with all the routes I know (personal friends and his family) and I still have no idea where to find this man

How do I even begin to think of the possibility of divorce when he can't be located to serve a subpoena?

Any and all suggestions are welcome

[Lindsay]

Locating spouse

Hi chaos,

Check out my response to your other post here.

Hope this helps,
Lindsay

[logicalvelocity]

chaos,

Has the ministry of CSS had any success locating your ex. They generally have access to other government information databases, so it makes it easy for them to track down individuals.

The database's I have in mind are motor vehicle, driver's license, and federal data base's such as the CPP, Itax and EI. I think all they need is the individual's sin number.

LV

[chaos]

I asked my worker about that months ago. I was told they do not have the authority to do this. I can't figure out for the life of me why a government run agency could'nt just use the information I had given them (SIN, drivers licence) to search through other government data bases for his whereabouts.

I'm almost to the point that I'm going to get into my car and wait at his mothers till he shows his spineless face and serve him the papers myself

Ya know, I just gotta say, it's no wonder some women get vindictive. At the beginning of this whole mess all I wanted was for all of us (my children especially) to come out of this in one piece. For 3 months he held and comforted all of my children, his step-children, (that he raised as his own for 11 years) as they cried and he gave them his word that he would always be there for them.

That was before he left us stranded on moving day. I rented a 24' truck and with the help of my children, their father and his wife (IF you can imagine ) we got the job done. Months of lies, excuses and forgiveness. All so that he could still have a viable relationship with the children. Only to abandon them just before Christmas. With all that he has put them through, it's a miracle that they still moved on to be functioning individuals. Just writing this down gets me wired all over again

Anyway, I'm tired of playing the peace keeper and putting on my nice girl mask. He can run, and he can hide, it's only a matter of time until he's found.

Sorry, vent over

[logicalvelocity]

chaos,

Its okay to vent. Frustrating times. I would look at an alternate method of serving him.

Perhaps, the court would agree that the papers e be served at his immediate family as suggested by Lindsay

or as another alternative post an advertisement in every major city in Canada.

[Lindsay]

I should also add that in a motion for substitued service, you may also ask the court to serve the respondent via e-mail, if you have his e-mail address.

Lindsay

[chaos]

Thanks for the suggestion Lindsay. Unfortunately, I haven't a clue of his new email address.

I got a call from my CR worker yesterday. When I last spoke with her months ago, she told me her hands were tied unless I could supply her with more information. Since calling her and requesting a substitution of service (which she could not provide ), it seems that her tune has changed.

She now informs me that she may possibly be able to find his current employer based on information she may be able to get from Revenue Canada. All these possibilities and maybes are driving me crazy. I tried to explain to her that with him being a long distance truck driver, chances are, they will still have to do a substitution of service at his work (IF they are able to find where he is currently working). She still wants to take this route. Of course, there are certain avenues she must take so I will have to be patient as this takes time

The bottom line is, even IF she is able to gather this info from Revenue Canada, and IF he is still employed by the same employer, the CR Unit is still not able to do a substitution of service. Why are we wasting even more valuable time? I know that I am entitled to Legal Aid. I was accepted just prior to the CR Unit taking over. From what I can see, I will wait months until she may or may not get any further leads, only to be transferred over to Legal Aid in the end. Gotta love the government.

[Lindsay]

Hi chaos,

As far as substituted service, as far as I'm concerned, this can only be determined by the family courts, not CR. I'm sure CR could request from the court that your husband be served via substituted service, but I can see why this would be an absolute last resort. Asking for substituted service requires submitting motion materials that otherwise would not be necessary and appearing before a judge.

Is it possible for you to somehow terminate your relationship with CR and then move on with Legal Aid?

Lindsay