Taking children out of country

[High Road]

I've checked dozens of threads but can't seem to find an answer to this.

My ex is taking the children out of the country, but won't tell me where. I've checked the CBSA sites, and I should be providing a letter, but I can't write the letter because I don't know where specifically the dates, the border crossing, or where they will be in the states.

I've asked for information on where they are going, but he won't respond.

[Mess]

Just tell him you need the itinerary to write the letter of transit. There. You've done your part. If he screws up his vacation it's not your concern.

[HammerDad]

I would simply email the ex and state that you are willing to prepare consent to travel letter, you are unable to without the relevent/required information. Until such information is provided by him, in writing, you are unable to provide the necessary letter which will affect his ability to cross the border with the children.

[HappyMomma]

How strict are they at the border about this? Is it a crap shoot or do they really require that you have the letter?

[HammerDad]

It depends. Does the child have the same last name as your ex? Is he married to another woman who also shares his last name?

It is border guard dependant. If it looks like Mr. and Mrs. Smith are crossing the border with junior, they are less likely to question it. But if Mr. Smith and Ms. Anderson and crossing the border with Junior Smith (or Anderson), the guard will become curious.

[littleman]

when I take my child across I have to supply their passport and custody papers.....papers are always asked for even though my child looks like me.......I do not need a letter from ex cause Im not flying however I am driving and they ask if father is aware and I am honest and say why should he know I have sole custody and I have the court docs to back up my claim though ........my issue with this and dont want to instill fear is that you see it all the time that they "disappear" after customs

[HappyMomma]

when I take my child across I have to supply their passport and custody papers.....papers are always asked for even though my child looks like me.......I do not need a letter from ex cause Im not flying however I am driving and they ask if father is aware and I am honest and say why should he know I have sole custody and I have the court docs to back up my claim though ........my issue with this and dont want to instill fear is that you see it all the time that they "disappear" after customs

You are supposed to have a letter when driving across the border as well.

[Tayken]

Just tell him you need the itinerary to write the letter of transit. There. You've done your part. If he screws up his vacation it's not your concern.

Mess is 100% correct.

Some additional background:

Every parent has a right to know where their children are sleeping every night. -- Voice of the Child (Justice Czutrin I believe but don't quote me.)

Also, if it is out of country you should get the letter of consent notarized and notify the local embassy of the trip and your contact information for emergency purposes.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Tayken]

You are supposed to have a letter when driving across the border as well.

Agreed. Even if you have "sole custody" it doesn't allow you to take children out of the country unless your court order specifically states that.

[littleman]

having sole custody I do have the right to come and go as I please with my child and I dont have to notify the ex of our travels, I do however I am NOT obligated to do so. He cannot take our child out of the country however without notifying me in writing and having a letter of consent from me. That is the way that sole custody works.

[KeepSmiling]

having sole custody I do have the right to come and go as I please with my child and I dont have to notify the ex of our travels, I do however I am NOT obligated to do so. He cannot take our child out of the country however without notifying me in writing and having a letter of consent from me. That is the way that sole custody works.

I think that it's not the "sole/joint custody" determination that allows you to you travel or not to travel without consent - it's the the fact that if the NCP has scheduled court ordered access (and a specific access schedule in a separation agreement is sufficient), then you cannot take the child away during any time that the NCP will be exercising their access.

Now, if you get consent, then it's ok - but without consent .... could be trouble.

[littleman]

Agreed. Even if you have "sole custody" it doesn't allow you to take children out of the country unless your court order specifically states that.

this is where you are absolutely wrong Tayken. I have sole custody of my child and with my court order presented at the customs I have never had issues. I have presented it in both driving and flying scenarios without a letter from the father. I tell the ex out of respect where we are going however there is no legal obligation for me to do so

[littleman]

I think that it's not the "sole/joint custody" determination that allows you to you travel or not to travel without consent - it's the the fact that if the NCP has scheduled court ordered access (and a specific access schedule in a separation agreement is sufficient), then you cannot take the child away during any time that the NCP will be exercising their access.

Now, if you get consent, then it's ok - but without consent .... could be trouble.

Ex has liberal visitation rights which have NEVER been used. We just returned from trip and was NCP weekend there was no trouble, I had no letter of consent from father saying he was aware of travel either. See what I mean by jumping to conclusions. I have sole custody and he has EOW visitaton by court however I changed to liberal. I have never had issue taking him by car or by plane through customs and never will because I am sole custodial parent. In plain english this means I am main care giver for this child and legally ANY decisions on safety, medical, educational are solely my responsibility. Financially we are jointly responsible. I do not exercise the full extent of the sole custody order because that is depriving our child and the exes rights as a father (just cause we are divorced he is still a dad that doesnt change and he loves hs child)

[NBDad]

I have sole custody of my child and with my court order presented at the customs I have never had issues. I have presented it in both driving and flying scenarios without a letter from the father.

Does your court order have a clause indicating that you are able to do so without the father's consent?

If it does NOT, then technically you need it and you CAN be refused at the border if you do not have it. Just because it hasn't happened does not mean that it will not.

Children and Travel

The only time you can get away with this is if you have a court order that grants you that right without the other parent's consent OR the other parent is deceased or their parental rights have been terminated.

I tell the ex out of respect where we are going however there is no legal obligation for me to do so

You are incorrect. As the current custodial parent you DO have a legal obligation to tell him if you are taking the children out of the country.

[littleman]

Does your court order have a clause indicating that you are able to do so without the father's consent?

If it does NOT, then technically you need it and you CAN be refused at the border if you do not have it. Just because it hasn't happened does not mean that it will not.

LEGALLY I do not need it! I asked judge to be clear and he said that is why I was granted sole custody so I dont need to

Children and Travel

The only time you can get away with this is if you have a court order that grants you that right without the other parent's consent OR the other parent is deceased or their parental rights have been terminated.

Again sole custody grants you this right.


You are incorrect. As the current custodial parent you DO have a legal obligation to tell him if you are taking the children out of the country.

I have a moral obligation but no legal to inform him of this EVER.