been a while, new issue....

[chefjayl]

So for the most part I have just let things happen as they may. I have my boys for half of every week, and as long as that isn't messed with I let her play all the little games she likes.
But I hate being dictated to. And this time it has really got me mad.
I had my boys registered for a camp at the end of July. A camp they have gone to before, and absolutely love. I have been told that my ex has booked a trip to PEI in the same time frame. During my time no less. And that I do not have any say in the matter, as she may or may not have brought it up before. Though, I have agreed to nothing and have been given no written notice.
I am all for my kids going to PEI, even on my time, but to be dictated to in this regard has shown a desire to up the stakes on my ex's behalf. We are still going through the court rigamarole, and nothing has been decieded or granted.
Historically we share the kids pretty much 50/50.
Can she do this? If not, which I surmise i the case, what amendment to family law is she breaking. I need specifics if I am to call her lawyer and let her know this is not accceptable to me. A that point maybe I can get the ball rollin on other matters that are ebing stalled at every turn.
A little tit for tat. Something sadly lacking on this side of the fence. I want what is best for my boys. And I believe seeing another city or the coast is probably better than a camp. But want it to be something I consent to, and not be TOLD, I am not going to have a choice in.

Thank you

[dinkyface]

No, there are no official rules/laws she is breaking. Is she breaking any of the terms of your agreement? You say it's during your time - do you mean regular time, or vacation time?

1) Suggest email-only communication from this point onwards so that neither of you is fuzzy on what was agreed to.

2) If you think it is your kid's best interest, then agree to the change, but only on the condition that she agrees in writing that you alternate first pick of vacation weeks each year, and you get first pick next year.

[chefjayl]

No there is no agreement in place. Just a year of Sun-Wed am at my house and Wed pm -Sun am at her house.
So she can just up and keep them at a moments notice?
I lose more and more of my faith in humanity each time I have o ask a question here.
Just another quick question. Does this road run in both directions? OR would I have the provincial police looking for me in PEI were the situation revered?
thanks

[dinkyface]

Without knowing your details, it sounds like both of you have made plans prior to notifying the other...

As it is the summer vacation time, where family travel for 2-3 weeks is normal, I doubt that either parent would be liable for abduction charges, and given that you have 50-50, that there is no court order, and there is no clear agreed on vacation plans worked out.

[Mess]

You would have had to have registered your kids for camp some time ago, speaking from experience camps fill up quickly after registration starts. You didn't do this last Friday in other words.

If want to complain, then you need to take the high road yourself. Notify your ex in writing after March break that you will be looking at camps, does she have any issues with dates. Register for camp and notify her in writing of the dates. Set up a calendar on Google that sends reminders to her email address and put the kids schedule on the family calendar.

If you do all this and she goes ahead and books a plane, then you have every right to tell her she'd better have cancellation insurance.

If you aren't doing this, then accept the mixup for what it is, a miscommunication on both your parts.

[chefjayl]

it is the same camp we put the boys in together last year. The same one they have been talking about all year. You know I did say i think travel is better for them. As such I accept that they will be going on vacation. What I don't accept is being dictated to by a callous and vindictive woman. But it would seem that once again what is right and what is legal are very different. One year in and I still can't get to see a courtroom. How the hell am I supposed to protect my rights. Stall stall stall, before you know it my kids are teenagers. Thanks

[chefjayl]

Or maybe I should play by the same game book. Just not bring them back to her on the Sunday before the trip. Just keep them and go somewhere else. Completely wrong on so many levels it's disgusting. But apparently a perfectly legal thing to do. And we all want to be legal, no giving a crap about right. This whole thing sucks.

[Mess]

You protect your rights by doing what I suggested, asking ahead of time, informing when you sign up for camp, making sure she has it in writing and having a family calendar for reminders.

You aren't doing these things, you just did "what was done last year" and ASSUMED she would figure it out on her own.

So instead of accepting that you could have done things differently, you crow about your "rights". You bitch about "what if I just don't bring the kids over..." That's real co-operation there.