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  • #46
    Update - have a court date in 1 month, well, a case conference I suppose.
    He is still not paying support nor a share of daycare expenses.
    Does anyone know if the case conference judge will be able to order him to start paying something, anything?!

    House is closing tomorrow too, but he's refusing to agree to anything so I'm not getting any of that either.

    I'm thinking I should go spend a bit of time at FLIC and they might be able to answer a lot of questions instead of using my lawyer.

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    • #47
      Don't tell FLIC you have a lawyer already, you'll get more attention.

      Case Conference judge may only suggest orders, unless they are proceedural and necessary for the case to continue, like someone hasn't filed their financials. Any other order is called a consent order, you both have to agree.

      Most times judges will act stern and come across like you really have to consent to something and many people feel intimidated and will consent to something. I've read a few posts here where someone consented and then regretted. Judges can come across really strong.

      You want to get the first Case Conference over with quickly so that you can then file a motion. You can seek a motion order that he pay support and pay your share of the house sale, etc. These are quick and straightforward if it is purely financial and by the book and you have full evidence like his tax assessment for support and documents stateing the selling price of the home.

      He will get smeared at a motion for stuff like that, and you can seek that he pay your legal fees.

      You generally can't file a motion until the first case conference, so you want to make sure it doesn't get postponed.

      You can also ask at the case conference for the judge to send you to mediation if you think it will help, or help save money or keep you from going to trial. However for mediation to work, both parties have to want to settle and be willing to compromise.

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      • #48
        Originally posted by Mess View Post
        Don't tell FLIC you have a lawyer already, you'll get more attention.

        Case Conference judge may only suggest orders, unless they are proceedural and necessary for the case to continue, like someone hasn't filed their financials. Any other order is called a consent order, you both have to agree.

        Most times judges will act stern and come across like you really have to consent to something and many people feel intimidated and will consent to something. I've read a few posts here where someone consented and then regretted. Judges can come across really strong.

        You want to get the first Case Conference over with quickly so that you can then file a motion. You can seek a motion order that he pay support and pay your share of the house sale, etc. These are quick and straightforward if it is purely financial and by the book and you have full evidence like his tax assessment for support and documents stateing the selling price of the home.

        He will get smeared at a motion for stuff like that, and you can seek that he pay your legal fees.

        You generally can't file a motion until the first case conference, so you want to make sure it doesn't get postponed.

        You can also ask at the case conference for the judge to send you to mediation if you think it will help, or help save money or keep you from going to trial. However for mediation to work, both parties have to want to settle and be willing to compromise.
        Thank you Mess - very good advise.
        We've tried mediation, three times. Once at the start, he was good but X backed out immediately because he didn't like what he had to say. Second one was at the court house, didn't work either. Third was after months of lawyers and a stalemate - she was good, very good (anyone need an Ottawa referral let me know!!) and got us a draft seperation agreement, and after he presented it to his lawyer he sent it back to my lawyer and it was workable but then he changed his mind about all the important things (money and custody) and refused to sign or agree to anything - hense why I'm forced to go to court now because I can't continue to survive paying daycare on my own.

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