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14 months of legal fees with no end in sight.....
My wife and I are at our wit's end.
In brief, my wife was served in Feb 2010 with a motion for change by her ex that was seeking a total reversal of custody, living arrangements, sharing of time and support payments that have been in place by court order since 2004.
Despite the fact that my wife (fiance at the time) attempted to follow the 2004 court order's dispute resolution process as a potential remedy to her ex's angry rants about access, he served her with a motion for change and we found ourselves at a Case Conference in Mar 10. To our relief, the judge essentially threw out any chances of the ex's wishes of changing custody or residence arrangements and ordered the two parties to attend mediation to settle issues (ironically, this is the process of dispute resolution that was in the original order and what my wife had already suggested).
We are now more than a year into this "battle" and after over $30,000 in legal fees, we are no closer to a resolution.
After the mediation sessions that resulted in (or so we thought) all of the issues being resolved, a new draft agreement was written by us and was then systematically dismantled and rewritten by the ex and his lawyer to once again go after all the changes that the judge had effectively dismissed. Several months of back and forth amendments were unsuccessful in achieving a settlement, so we found ourselves in court once again at a Settlement Conference in Nov 10. This time, the judge ordered the two parties to spend the day working out the issues because she felt that we were "close enough" to work out an agreement without going to trial. And so we spent 6 hours in the courthouse coffee shop doing just that. Again a draft agreement was written and again it was twisted and changed by my wife's ex and his lawyer into something that was a complete departure from the settlements that were agreed upon at the courthouse.
We are now at an impasse. Our lawyer has essentially stopped communicating with us (except to send invoices for services rendered). We have requested guidance on resolution and a potential court motion for the unresolved issues, but our lawyer wants my wife to go to another Settlement Conference or back to mediation. Our lawyer is taking weeks to get back to us - not returning phone calls or emails, or answering our questions. One of our "sticking points" is that my wife wants her ex to pay for our legal fees. This is mainly due to the fact that the draft agreement we are trying to finalize (based on the shifting agreements of her ex), basically solidifies in black and white the arrangements that are already in place (and which have been in place for years as documented by my wife). We feel that this whole process has been an unnecessary waste of time and money. Unfortunately, unlike us, my wife's ex has a seemingly limitless supply of money with which to finance his quest for control.
We feel that our lawyer is no longer representing us, but we are unsure of where to go from here. We want this process to end, but why should we bear the costs to finalize it when it was served upon us? Should we attempt to represent ourselves and force a trial? We feel that this may be our only option as we cannot afford to pay for a lawyer, don't qualify for legal aid and we doubt that the issues can be resolved in any other setting other than a court where a ruling is final because the ex and his lawyer seem to conveniently forget all that is agreed upon in any other venue, therefore costing us more in legal fees......and round and round we go!
Can anyone provide some guidance based on experience or professional insight? We are truly beginning to feel that there will be no justice for us in these circumstances......
In brief, my wife was served in Feb 2010 with a motion for change by her ex that was seeking a total reversal of custody, living arrangements, sharing of time and support payments that have been in place by court order since 2004.
Despite the fact that my wife (fiance at the time) attempted to follow the 2004 court order's dispute resolution process as a potential remedy to her ex's angry rants about access, he served her with a motion for change and we found ourselves at a Case Conference in Mar 10. To our relief, the judge essentially threw out any chances of the ex's wishes of changing custody or residence arrangements and ordered the two parties to attend mediation to settle issues (ironically, this is the process of dispute resolution that was in the original order and what my wife had already suggested).
We are now more than a year into this "battle" and after over $30,000 in legal fees, we are no closer to a resolution.
After the mediation sessions that resulted in (or so we thought) all of the issues being resolved, a new draft agreement was written by us and was then systematically dismantled and rewritten by the ex and his lawyer to once again go after all the changes that the judge had effectively dismissed. Several months of back and forth amendments were unsuccessful in achieving a settlement, so we found ourselves in court once again at a Settlement Conference in Nov 10. This time, the judge ordered the two parties to spend the day working out the issues because she felt that we were "close enough" to work out an agreement without going to trial. And so we spent 6 hours in the courthouse coffee shop doing just that. Again a draft agreement was written and again it was twisted and changed by my wife's ex and his lawyer into something that was a complete departure from the settlements that were agreed upon at the courthouse.
We are now at an impasse. Our lawyer has essentially stopped communicating with us (except to send invoices for services rendered). We have requested guidance on resolution and a potential court motion for the unresolved issues, but our lawyer wants my wife to go to another Settlement Conference or back to mediation. Our lawyer is taking weeks to get back to us - not returning phone calls or emails, or answering our questions. One of our "sticking points" is that my wife wants her ex to pay for our legal fees. This is mainly due to the fact that the draft agreement we are trying to finalize (based on the shifting agreements of her ex), basically solidifies in black and white the arrangements that are already in place (and which have been in place for years as documented by my wife). We feel that this whole process has been an unnecessary waste of time and money. Unfortunately, unlike us, my wife's ex has a seemingly limitless supply of money with which to finance his quest for control.
We feel that our lawyer is no longer representing us, but we are unsure of where to go from here. We want this process to end, but why should we bear the costs to finalize it when it was served upon us? Should we attempt to represent ourselves and force a trial? We feel that this may be our only option as we cannot afford to pay for a lawyer, don't qualify for legal aid and we doubt that the issues can be resolved in any other setting other than a court where a ruling is final because the ex and his lawyer seem to conveniently forget all that is agreed upon in any other venue, therefore costing us more in legal fees......and round and round we go!
Can anyone provide some guidance based on experience or professional insight? We are truly beginning to feel that there will be no justice for us in these circumstances......
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