At what age can a child decide where to live? 12?

[Frustrated_DAD]

I've been informed by a lawyer that there is no age set in law but have heard many times that a child can decide what parent to live with at the age of 12 yrs old.
Does anyone have reference to legal documentation on this?

I know a child that wants to live with one parent currently and not the other but court documents specifically state 50/50. The child is not being influenced but encouraged to be with the other parent but often does not want to go. Trying to maintain that it is good to see both parents but hard at the same time see the child cry about it so much. The child is currently 8yrs old - hoping that time will make the shared custody easier but also wonder at what age can they decide.

The child is not mine but a close friend's and since I did not have to go through this issue I do not know the answer.

[HammerDad]

My quick answer - there is no set age when a child can determine, on their own, where they will live.

However, a court may taken into consideration the wants and feelings of a child over the age of 12, depending on maturity. The court will listen to the childs reasoning for their determination and then make a judgment based on whether or not the judge feels there is validity and reason in the childs determination.

There was a HUGE long thread about this about 6 months ago you can search. The jyst is, until a court has determined where the child is to reside or whether the child will exercise access with the NCP, the child is obligated to go. And the CP is obligated to encourage them execising that access or they may face a contempt charge.

If the child reaches an age where they are able to determine where they wish to reside on their own (ie emancipate themselves and live on their own, which is about 16 I think), then they can determine where they want to live. However, if lets say the child wants to live with the NCP now, a court order would still be needed to change custody and have C/S changed as well. It is not an automatic change (even though it probably should be if people were reasonable).

When the child is of the age of ~16 enforcing access etc becomes hard, as the child has a life of their own and both parents should be understanding.

But to say a 12 can determine, on their own, where they wish to live is false. If the situation does come up, the parent must an application must be made to the courts to make the change and a judge will have to listen to reasoning on why any change would be in the best interests of the child.

[Mess]

Hammerdad gave a good answer. I would add that if a 12 year old didn't want to go to school would you agree?

If the situation is so bad that the child refuses to go, this is different than stating a preference.

Are there other factors involved, like the other residence is far away, they can't engage with their friends, they can't go to rec or sport activities? Are they having a difficult time with step-siblings or step-parent?

Basically if there is a list of factual reasons for problems and then the child's own wishes are laid on top of that, this is one way to construct an argument to have the court order changed.

The other reasoning would be if the child is dropped off at the other home, and they immediatly get on the bus and head back. (*note my daughter has threatened her mother to run away to my house, several times. I don't agree with this kind of blackmail and especially over discipline issues so I supported her mother and helped defuse the situation. Be careful about validating this kind of behaviour, it will come back and bite you on the ass.)

[Frustrated_DAD]

Thank you for the info.