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  • #91
    Originally posted by iceberg View Post
    You cant wave off CS cuz it is a must. If the fathers are deadbeats then I side with you but I doubt they are cuz they don't allow them to move. I went thru it and I know the importance of having a good dad. Money doesn't buy true happiness. You know your life but here is what I think, unless you are going for a doctor or a lawyer, finding a job in your area for $15 hourly is just over $2000 a month plus you mentioned $800 as CS from dads and nearly $800 CCTB-UTB comes to $3600 after taxes.

    I don't make that much
    That's ok... I'm currently as poor as they come and it's quite alright.

    No they aren't deadbeats, they care even though they wouldn't want the kids full time. I suppose they could have participated a little more, you know...make some decisions, show initiative, enforce rules for the kids etc. But on the other hand, I have a trade off of receiving cooperation and respect from them. After 2 days on this board I'm starting to feel grateful for what I have :-)

    The problem is that I am training for a 100+ salary right now. Not a doctor or a lawyer but something similar. Giving this up for a 15/h job seems a little unreasonable.

    Comment


    • #92
      Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
      You can't legislate intelligence or morality....or common sense or ethics.

      If one parent chooses to be a douche, that it their choice. Yes, it affects the other parent and the child, but we aren't in a place in our society where we can prevent someone from being self-destructive in this manner.

      Being stupid or ignorant isn't against the laws right now. They aren't endangering the child, or most likely themselves where the courts could step in more.

      If one parent where to leave, well....that sucks. But you as a parent suck it up because that is what is best for the child. And when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.
      Well, ethical behavior can be somewhat accommodated by the Human Rights Code but that doesn't extend to cover our private lives, fortunately or not...

      Comment


      • #93
        Originally posted by LostFather View Post
        I have to say...I am not in agreement with any of your reasons to uproot your children and take them away from dad....having said that...I admire you standing on point....even when enduring such foul and abusive language/abuse exerted from blink and dtte...this is quite normal behavior from these two especially if you do not agree with them...playing on words is something they're are quite ready to do&quote others on but are used often themselves in order to try and prove points...if called on such...they seem to step it up by using foul and abusive words...my humble opinion it gives them a sence of power and control.

        Again I do not agree with your position I do admire your restraint. ...better than I could of done faced with the assault you went through lol.
        Thank you :-) Emotional detachment and maintaining boundaries are a part of my training. People can only hurt you if you let them, I think. Once you are detached from abuse, it becomes easy and even entertaining in a way to watch repeated failed attempts of the offending party, which only enrages them further. Or toy around with the abuser b/c once they have 'lost it', they seem tough and scary but in fact it them who are not in control.

        Also, look at the story I've posted. It has plenty of room for freestyle interpretation, and once the story unravels in time, it brings on something known as the Forer effect. It means that the story itself is like an information field covered in little 'triggers', little hooks which will 'catch' you emotionally if you can relate to them or will go unnoticed if you never experienced anything of the sort. So after we have read the story, everyone got a slightly different picture based on his or her unique pattern of hurts. The little emotional pings we can relate to can be quite painful and many people use a defense mechanism called 'projection'. It's not necessarily conscious; I think it's good to be aware of them though. Projections are fun and they can give you information based on what it is that triggered a person.

        So if someone gets repeatedly negatively triggered by a resilient, argumentative, 'bossy' female it can speak for that person's negative experience with a similar female in his life.

        Or if someone gives a bitter, negative 'advice' to prepare for a long tough uphill legal battle, it can indicate that the person has experienced something similar for himself/herself and it was a traumatic experience.

        Or if a person gets triggered and becomes angry when he or she feels like his/her points are ignored, rejected, or not otherwise properly validated, it could mean that the person gets silenced, ignored or invalidated in real life, and of course it's traumatic.

        My goal was to get triggered by your (readers) responses so that I could explore my own projections related to this topic.

        Comment


        • #94
          Originally posted by Zhoozhelitsa View Post
          Thank you :-) Emotional detachment and maintaining boundaries are a part of my training. People can only hurt you if you let them, I think. Once you are detached from abuse, it becomes easy and even entertaining in a way to watch repeated failed attempts of the offending party, which only enrages them further. Or toy around with the abuser b/c once they have 'lost it', they seem tough and scary but in fact it them who are not in control.

          Also, look at the story I've posted. It has plenty of room for freestyle interpretation, and once the story unravels in time, it brings on something known as the Forer effect. It means that the story itself is like an information field covered in little 'triggers', little hooks which will 'catch' you emotionally if you can relate to them or will go unnoticed if you never experienced anything of the sort. So after we have read the story, everyone got a slightly different picture based on his or her unique pattern of hurts. The little emotional pings we can relate to can be quite painful and many people use a defense mechanism called 'projection'. It's not necessarily conscious; I think it's good to be aware of them though. Projections are fun and they can give you information based on what it is that triggered a person.

          So if someone gets repeatedly negatively triggered by a resilient, argumentative, 'bossy' female it can speak for that person's negative experience with a similar female in his life.

          Or if someone gives a bitter, negative 'advice' to prepare for a long tough uphill legal battle, it can indicate that the person has experienced something similar for himself/herself and it was a traumatic experience.

          My goal was to get triggered by your (readers) responses so that I could explore my own projections related to this topic.

          I think there is a lot of emotions in here I include myself in that statement, all from unique and personal experiences. I myself got caught up in a play of words battle or.my my case the lack of using.one word..then being a victim of words being added to my comments...well two guesses who jumped all over that one lol...I was commenting on a article that was posted by a member that was written by a woman...with a phd....interesting enough she commented on bitter parents...and what one sex that was mainly the one whom was bitter...but instead of attacking the author of the the original post...they came after me....fair enough...but the adding of words and playing on those words was a tool of their attack....but when the vollies were sent back...then they did not like that....very interesting to say the least.

          Its a shame really because both do have a lot to offer this fourm, unfortunately their credibility gets clouded by the abusive and foul language need to get tier points across...especially if your not in agreement with them....again this is all just my humble opinion based on my experience.

          Comment


          • #95
            Originally posted by Zhoozhelitsa View Post
            I didn't say YOU Blinkie, did I? This could have referred to the collective "you" of the thread, the majority. You assumed I pointed a finger at you personally. That wasn't my intention. Why you assumed it and why it made you upset - that I don't know. My assumption with this one was that this board was a place frequented by males who seem upset about certain things, I don't think it's incorrect.
            You addressed me directly by quoting my post in your reply. It was a reasonable assumption. I am still not a man. I am happily penis-free. Still.
            Last edited by blinkandimgone; 03-21-2011, 08:22 PM. Reason: i effing wanted to...

            Comment


            • #96
              Originally posted by LostFather View Post
              I have to say...I am not in agreement with any of your reasons to uproot your children and take them away from dad....having said that...I admire you standing on point....even when enduring such foul and abusive language/abuse exerted from blink and dtte...this is quite normal behavior from these two especially if you do not agree with them...playing on words is something they're are quite ready to do&quote others on but are used often themselves in order to try and prove points...if called on such...they seem to step it up by using foul and abusive words...my humble opinion it gives them a sence of power and control.

              Again I do not agree with your position I do admire your restraint. ...better than I could of done faced with the assault you went through lol.
              You're so lame. You probably this song is about you...Don't you? Don't you?

              Comment


              • #97
                Originally posted by LostFather View Post
                I have to say...I am not in agreement with any of your reasons to uproot your children and take them away from dad....having said that...I admire you standing on point....even when enduring such foul and abusive language/abuse exerted from blink and dtte...this is quite normal behavior from these two especially if you do not agree with them...playing on words is something they're are quite ready to do&quote others on but are used often themselves in order to try and prove points...if called on such...they seem to step it up by using foul and abusive words...my humble opinion it gives them a sence of power and control.

                Again I do not agree with your position I do admire your restraint. ...better than I could of done faced with the assault you went through lol.
                LMAO! You can't seperate your bitterness towards your ex from any other female you encounter. Every woman is always out to screw the ex, in your opinion. I stand up for the rights of asshats like you to be involved in your childrens' lives because I believe it to be the right thing, not to be limited by your gender despite the fact that you project your negativity from your own situation into EVERY situation you encounter. It is impossible for you to see Mom/Dad as co-operative partners because you are incapable of managing it with your ex, you turn EVERY situation into a Mom vs Dad battle.

                Feel free to quote ANY other post I've ever made on this forum where I've dropped an eff-bomb. Any post, any thread, anywhere. I can guarantee you can't.

                I'll defend your rights as a parent LF, because I believe in the rights of children to have both of their parents in their lives equally. I will also address ignorance and stupidity for what it is, whether you're male or female. Stupid isn't gender specific, it's just stupid.

                Comment


                • #98
                  Don't forget the courts. The courts too are out to screw every man on the planet.

                  What a yahoo you are LF.

                  I've contained myself lately in spite of the shots you've taken at me, but screw that anymore.

                  You project your own sad story onto every case out there. Fortunately for you it is easy to wrap yourself in the gender bias argument, but you fail to see or even acknowledge the fact that sometime fathers are the primary caregivers and therefore obtain custody. Any time that happens Mom must have a needle sticking out of her arm. There's not a chance that Dad did it on merit and the court accepted it.

                  For what feels like the hundreth time, you fail to see that you have a whacked out ex that explains some of the problem. Yeah, you may also have drawn a whacked out judge, but that doesn't mean every case is as sorry as yours.

                  Not only are you a LostFather. You're a lost cause.

                  Comment


                  • #99
                    Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                    LMAO! You can't seperate your bitterness towards your ex from any other female you encounter. Every woman is always out to screw the ex, in your opinion. I stand up for the rights of asshats like you to be involved in your childrens' lives because I believe it to be the right thing, not to be limited by your gender despite the fact that you project your negativity from your own situation into EVERY situation you encounter. It is impossible for you to see Mom/Dad as co-operative partners because you are incapable of managing it with your ex, you turn EVERY situation into a Mom vs Dad battle.

                    Feel free to quote ANY other post I've ever made on this forum where I've dropped an eff-bomb. Any post, any thread, anywhere. I can guarantee you can't.

                    I'll defend your rights as a parent LF, because I believe in the rights of children to have both of their parents in their lives equally. I will also address ignorance and stupidity for what it is, whether you're male or female. Stupid isn't gender specific, it's just stupid.
                    Thank you for proving my point

                    Comment


                    • Thank you for blah blah blah blah.

                      There's a river in Russia. It's called the Crimea. You're it's North American tributary.

                      BTW, you have no idea how nice it is to be cashing those CS cheques straight into my kid's RESP!!

                      It's so nice I'll say it twice:

                      BTW, you have no idea how nice it is to be cashing those CS cheques straight into my kid's RESP!!

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                        Don't forget the courts. The courts too are out to screw every man on the planet.

                        What a yahoo you are LF.

                        I've contained myself lately in spite of the shots you've taken at me, but screw that anymore.

                        You project your own sad story onto every case out there. Fortunately for you it is easy to wrap yourself in the gender bias argument, but you fail to see or even acknowledge the fact that sometime fathers are the primary caregivers and therefore obtain custody. Any time that happens Mom must have a needle sticking out of her arm. There's not a chance that Dad did it on merit and the court accepted it.

                        For what feels like the hundreth time, you fail to see that you have a whacked out ex that explains some of the problem. Yeah, you may also have drawn a whacked out judge, but that doesn't mean every case is as sorry as yours.

                        Not only are you a LostFather. You're a lost cause.
                        Contained yourself latley!...Lmao....look in the mirror bud...you're truly in deep denial. ...I feelsorry for proving

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                          Thank you for blah blah blah blah.

                          There's a river in Russia. It's called the Crimea. You're it's North American tributary.

                          BTW, you have no idea how nice it is to be cashing those CS cheques straight into my kid's RESP!!

                          It's so nice I'll say it twice

                          BTW, you have no idea how nice it is to be cashing those CS cheques straight into my kid's RESP!!
                          You are a bully...I facilitate courses, just on individuals such as yourself...you not only project violence, you seem to have that school yard mentality...I am curious...how old are you?

                          Comment


                          • Hey blink and dtte....you did not need the two guesses did you....first one smells it...did it....lol. That should be a level of which you understand.

                            Comment


                            • Your posts are getting less and less coherant. Are you posting sober?

                              Comment


                              • O_O


                                Look DRAMA and a man who needs to always have the last word !

                                I would just like to add on a side note, LF you are wrong here and I will always stand by that. Stop nagging on my GENDER for your ex's craziness. You are very narrow minded and take any and every opportunity to belittle the opposite gender and also anyone who dares not to agree with you.

                                Comment

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