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Well hello all...I'm a brand stinking new Newbie looking for some advise/help. I've been reading this forum for DAYS and there are plenty of cases similar to mine...plenty of good positive responses...and plenty of responses that were not so positive but still offered great advise. I need everyone to be honest with what they've seen in the court room and what I may expect.
Let me start off by telling you a bit about myself. I'm a mother of 2...my daughter is 6 and son is 2...I left the abusive/controlling relationship that produced my daughter over 5 years ago and I met my supportive wonderful hubby (common-law) shortly after that.
For the past 5 years I've had the same Court Order but am now in the beginning stages of having it altered/changed (motion to change) to include some important but forgotten information. I also have a Motion of Contempt being drafted up. Both of these Motions were recommended by my local police station.
So...yes this is a long story...my ex has on numerous occasions refused to bring my daughter home according to the court order...he started this in 2008 and every once in a while decides to do it. He doesn't ask..he just doesn't bring her back. Him having extra time with her has NEVER been an issue (until recently because the police and my lawyer have told me I have to follow the court order or else they can't enforce it if he choses to take her for extra time and not return her) and with his old job he had to work a lot of weekends so I was constantly switching weekends and day with him to assist in his access with her. I'm not sure why the change in behavior but we've missed out on so many plans with her (santa parade, reservations with grandparents for dinner, thanksgiving dinner, visit with grandma before she went in for surgery the next day, etc.) because he doesn't return her home and then ignores the calls from the Police and myself. We actually have had to have the Police meet us at his house once when he didn't return her for over 24 hours later...where they knocked on the door and my daughter came out and had no clue why the police where there (of course we didn't tell her) and she jumped in our truck and we went home. All the other times the police call him and leave him messages and generally within a few hours he shows up with her. I never say anything to him when he's here because of my daughter being present and he ignores all calls or emails from me so there's nothing more said.
A few months ago he did text me asking if he could pick our daughter up Friday morning, I told him no that she has school Friday mornings but he's welcome to pick her up after school like he always does. He told me he was unable to pick her up Friday night but wanted to get her Friday morning. This of course makes no sense because he has to go to work Friday morning, which he admitted, but he had 30 minutes after he would pick her up before he had to go to work...but then where was my daughter going? He stated he would make sure she got to school but wouldn't tell me how...so if he's not able to pick her up after school at my house how in the world is he going to get her from school...which is 5 minutes away from my house. He says this is not my concern (understood). So because this all sounds very fishy to me...I again tell him that I think it would be best if he picked her up Friday night, if that can't be done...then Saturday morning. He tell me he cannot do either...so I offer Saturday afternoon or night? He again says he can't do it and then accuses me of cancelling his weekend, lol! I told him to let me know when he can come during Saturday or Sunday and it he cannot then maybe it would be best that we switch weekends so he can spend some time with her. I never heard back from him...that was the Thursday afternoon before his weekend. Now...to clarify...our court order states that he's to have his daughter on every other weekend from Friday mornings at 7am or Saturday morning at 7am until Sunday at 6pm...this was because of our old work schedules...we have, since both changing jobs, always done every other Friday night at 5pm until Sunday at 6pm. So...Friday night around 7pm I get a phone call from the police station explaining that my ex is there accusing me of not allowing his to see his daughter, lol. After explaining the whole situation and reading all the text messages back and forth to the officer...he apologized for wasting my time (which it wasn't of course) states that I sound like an easy enough person to get along with (I'd like to think I am most of the time) and asked when my ex could pick up my daughter. I told him that we had already bought Wonderland tickets for the next day (online) because he said he wasn't coming. The officer said that was fine and asked if he would be allowed to have access on Sunday...I said absolutely and told the officer to have my ex text me and we would figure out a time. I never heard from him. Shortly after this my ex took my daughter on a few occasions and didn't return her...so the same police officer because involved and spoke to my ex and told him he can't behave that way...that it's against the law and he has to follow the court order. My ex actually went ahead and changed my daughters bus schedule so I had to speak with the bus board and have it all switched back to my home. A few weekends later my ex then called the OPP trying this same trick...but again I explained everything to the officer that he had already tried this with the Local Police and they won't help him, and the female officer told my ex to pick his daughter up and to stop making false accusation. Such a nightmare! I altogether have 8 police reports where he hasn't brought her home and also the false accusation ones.
On top of all this he doesn't pay his support properly. He stopped paying so I filed our order with FRO and they garnished 50% of his wages because he was behind over $3000. He's ordered to pay $142 a month because he magically got laid off when the original order was being written up. Hes suppose to notify me of reemployment within 7 days (he never does), and of course update his support payments (never has). So since Oct 2007 when he started working again making (we're guessing) about $50,000+ a year...he's never paid what the guildlines say he should be. I've asked him numerous times (emails, text, and one written letter giving him 30 days notice for his proof of income stuff) and he either ignores me or when I hand delivered the letter, he laughed in my face. He also rents rooms in his house for $400 a month X 2 but I know he wont claim this in his income because that'll jack up his support payments.
CAS has been involved once when my ex had 2 girlfriend at the same time, was engaged to one and the other was living in his house (lovely I know) and my daughter was there when they found out about each other...big fight...messy situation, and I was sick of my little girl being bounced around from women to women and constantly being afraid to go to his house because of all the fighting. At that point him and I actually entered into Mediation with CAS to try and straighten out some issues between us (like child support and his not returning my daughter when hes suppose to) and to outline some proper behavioral parenting skills (like keep the flavor of the week away from the kid, lol) At that time he told CAS, the mediator and myself that he would update his support and start paying back some arrears and would provide me with his income info, he also agreed to keep my daughter away from his girlfriends until he was sure she was "the one", lol...this was all put on paper and signed but he's never followed it. Around that same time he spent a night in jail because he assaulted one of the girlfriends and the police had him up on charges, he ended up having to go to Anger Management and had his hunting licence and weapons taken away for a while but because of it being his first offence he was pretty much let off.
I'm sure theres a TON MORE that I'm leaving out...but I think that's enough of a novel to read for now. I guess my question is...do you think there is enough for a Contempt motion...with refusing to update support, refusing to pay support, not notifying me of employment changes, and refusing to bring home his daughter (8 police reports to back this up, all of them siding with me). Also...the last time I dealt with the police they said that other than going to his house and getting her...theres nothing else they can do. Is this true? Is there not some sort of criminal charges that they can hit him with (282. Abduction in contravention of custody order)? I just can't see how he can be allowed to keep doing this and the only thing I can do is spend thousands on a lawyer, keep my fingers crossed, and even then he might not stop.
Thanks for your time!
Let me start off by telling you a bit about myself. I'm a mother of 2...my daughter is 6 and son is 2...I left the abusive/controlling relationship that produced my daughter over 5 years ago and I met my supportive wonderful hubby (common-law) shortly after that.
For the past 5 years I've had the same Court Order but am now in the beginning stages of having it altered/changed (motion to change) to include some important but forgotten information. I also have a Motion of Contempt being drafted up. Both of these Motions were recommended by my local police station.
So...yes this is a long story...my ex has on numerous occasions refused to bring my daughter home according to the court order...he started this in 2008 and every once in a while decides to do it. He doesn't ask..he just doesn't bring her back. Him having extra time with her has NEVER been an issue (until recently because the police and my lawyer have told me I have to follow the court order or else they can't enforce it if he choses to take her for extra time and not return her) and with his old job he had to work a lot of weekends so I was constantly switching weekends and day with him to assist in his access with her. I'm not sure why the change in behavior but we've missed out on so many plans with her (santa parade, reservations with grandparents for dinner, thanksgiving dinner, visit with grandma before she went in for surgery the next day, etc.) because he doesn't return her home and then ignores the calls from the Police and myself. We actually have had to have the Police meet us at his house once when he didn't return her for over 24 hours later...where they knocked on the door and my daughter came out and had no clue why the police where there (of course we didn't tell her) and she jumped in our truck and we went home. All the other times the police call him and leave him messages and generally within a few hours he shows up with her. I never say anything to him when he's here because of my daughter being present and he ignores all calls or emails from me so there's nothing more said.
A few months ago he did text me asking if he could pick our daughter up Friday morning, I told him no that she has school Friday mornings but he's welcome to pick her up after school like he always does. He told me he was unable to pick her up Friday night but wanted to get her Friday morning. This of course makes no sense because he has to go to work Friday morning, which he admitted, but he had 30 minutes after he would pick her up before he had to go to work...but then where was my daughter going? He stated he would make sure she got to school but wouldn't tell me how...so if he's not able to pick her up after school at my house how in the world is he going to get her from school...which is 5 minutes away from my house. He says this is not my concern (understood). So because this all sounds very fishy to me...I again tell him that I think it would be best if he picked her up Friday night, if that can't be done...then Saturday morning. He tell me he cannot do either...so I offer Saturday afternoon or night? He again says he can't do it and then accuses me of cancelling his weekend, lol! I told him to let me know when he can come during Saturday or Sunday and it he cannot then maybe it would be best that we switch weekends so he can spend some time with her. I never heard back from him...that was the Thursday afternoon before his weekend. Now...to clarify...our court order states that he's to have his daughter on every other weekend from Friday mornings at 7am or Saturday morning at 7am until Sunday at 6pm...this was because of our old work schedules...we have, since both changing jobs, always done every other Friday night at 5pm until Sunday at 6pm. So...Friday night around 7pm I get a phone call from the police station explaining that my ex is there accusing me of not allowing his to see his daughter, lol. After explaining the whole situation and reading all the text messages back and forth to the officer...he apologized for wasting my time (which it wasn't of course) states that I sound like an easy enough person to get along with (I'd like to think I am most of the time) and asked when my ex could pick up my daughter. I told him that we had already bought Wonderland tickets for the next day (online) because he said he wasn't coming. The officer said that was fine and asked if he would be allowed to have access on Sunday...I said absolutely and told the officer to have my ex text me and we would figure out a time. I never heard from him. Shortly after this my ex took my daughter on a few occasions and didn't return her...so the same police officer because involved and spoke to my ex and told him he can't behave that way...that it's against the law and he has to follow the court order. My ex actually went ahead and changed my daughters bus schedule so I had to speak with the bus board and have it all switched back to my home. A few weekends later my ex then called the OPP trying this same trick...but again I explained everything to the officer that he had already tried this with the Local Police and they won't help him, and the female officer told my ex to pick his daughter up and to stop making false accusation. Such a nightmare! I altogether have 8 police reports where he hasn't brought her home and also the false accusation ones.
On top of all this he doesn't pay his support properly. He stopped paying so I filed our order with FRO and they garnished 50% of his wages because he was behind over $3000. He's ordered to pay $142 a month because he magically got laid off when the original order was being written up. Hes suppose to notify me of reemployment within 7 days (he never does), and of course update his support payments (never has). So since Oct 2007 when he started working again making (we're guessing) about $50,000+ a year...he's never paid what the guildlines say he should be. I've asked him numerous times (emails, text, and one written letter giving him 30 days notice for his proof of income stuff) and he either ignores me or when I hand delivered the letter, he laughed in my face. He also rents rooms in his house for $400 a month X 2 but I know he wont claim this in his income because that'll jack up his support payments.
CAS has been involved once when my ex had 2 girlfriend at the same time, was engaged to one and the other was living in his house (lovely I know) and my daughter was there when they found out about each other...big fight...messy situation, and I was sick of my little girl being bounced around from women to women and constantly being afraid to go to his house because of all the fighting. At that point him and I actually entered into Mediation with CAS to try and straighten out some issues between us (like child support and his not returning my daughter when hes suppose to) and to outline some proper behavioral parenting skills (like keep the flavor of the week away from the kid, lol) At that time he told CAS, the mediator and myself that he would update his support and start paying back some arrears and would provide me with his income info, he also agreed to keep my daughter away from his girlfriends until he was sure she was "the one", lol...this was all put on paper and signed but he's never followed it. Around that same time he spent a night in jail because he assaulted one of the girlfriends and the police had him up on charges, he ended up having to go to Anger Management and had his hunting licence and weapons taken away for a while but because of it being his first offence he was pretty much let off.
I'm sure theres a TON MORE that I'm leaving out...but I think that's enough of a novel to read for now. I guess my question is...do you think there is enough for a Contempt motion...with refusing to update support, refusing to pay support, not notifying me of employment changes, and refusing to bring home his daughter (8 police reports to back this up, all of them siding with me). Also...the last time I dealt with the police they said that other than going to his house and getting her...theres nothing else they can do. Is this true? Is there not some sort of criminal charges that they can hit him with (282. Abduction in contravention of custody order)? I just can't see how he can be allowed to keep doing this and the only thing I can do is spend thousands on a lawyer, keep my fingers crossed, and even then he might not stop.
Thanks for your time!
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