uncontested sole custody, no marriage

[InterprovincialParents]

Billie's idea is actually good...you could set off the cost of yearly child-support with the cost of yearly access...net gain 0...but the courts would be satisfied with that, since you are encouraging the relationship between father and child by allowing it.

Brilliant, Billie!

[billiechic]

all my ideas are good

[dadtotheend]

I guess most ideas are good if they work.

[boyc1011]

That's a good idea if it works. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.

[billiechic]

How far away does he live? You could always offer that the CS be reduced (from guideline amount) to offset the costs of him visiting the child for access. Say if it cost him $2000 for flight and accommodations to visit, and he visited twice a year, then you could subtract $4000 from his CS obligations annually.

I'm guessing that he won't exercise that access, but it would show the court that you have left the door open for him as a parent and also that he understands he has some financial responsibility. It might take a bit of calculations, but it's better that having a support order written up and then not collecting. Much better for him too, since he will not feel like he is signing someting that might come back to bite him in the a$$ if you later decide he should pay

[boyc1011]

That's interesting. What happens if we agree on child support and I get the full custody, but I don't necessarily insist on getting the payments. Will the court know? How do the court know that the payment is not being made unless I file some kind of complaints?

[InterprovincialParents]

nope...only way a person can give up the right is for another to absorb it (aka stepparent)...the court's use the "best interest" test, and waiving parentage is not in best interests...unless there has been abuse.

[dinkyface]

Would he/you consider officially giving up his parental rights? Just something to consider. It would mean that the CS issue is forever (?) buried.

[InterprovincialParents]

I agree that I would be seeking a consent order...even in Quebec...but he does have a legal financial responsibility to your child, and most court's will not waive that unless you argue the inability to enforce it extra-jurisdictionally. If there is an order in place and he does not pay, it can result in a criminal offense that would affect his ability even to enter Canada.

Good Luck!

[Alli]

And the other thing is that you are better off having a consent order executed while you are both on the same page. You may always agree on custody but you may not. Why take the risk.

[boyc1011]

I know, but he is declared as the father.

[dinkyface]

Is your ex named as father on her birth certificate? If not, it makes your life a whole lot easier.

[boyc1011]

It seems like I might get into trouble when traveling abroad alone with her if I don't have the sole custody. They say I will have to carry a document saying that I have the sole custody, otherwise I might have to ask my ex's permission every time I travel abroad. Is this true? I think it also depends on the country I travel to, but I shouldn't take chance because I don't know which country will be a problem.

[logicalvelocity]

Out of curiosity, why do you need an order for custody, considering you seem to appear to be defacto on acquired consent. I realize the Quebec civil system is different, but how is it different.

[boyc1011]

Thank you so much for a quick reply. I will get a lawyer in that case.