Final Order question

[Tinkbug]

My ex boyfriend got a final order in Ontario giving him full custody of our 3 year old child while the child and I were in Texas where I live and the child was born.

According to the order I am to have supervised visitation, pay him child support, pay for his court costs for something I was never served on or had been brought to my attention until after he received orders. The FRO has been contacting me for a child that I have.

Is there a way that I could go to Canada and have this final order changed?
I hope I have a few options. I understand he is exercising his rights as a father, but I feel that this is unjust and biased against me as I am not a bad mother.

What do you think? Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you.

[DunnMom]

I think it's just "wonky" ... if the child was BORN in Texas is he/she not a US Citizen?

I honestly don't know how a Canadian court would have any jurisdiction over this?

Please someone clarify .... because I'm just as confused as the OP

[Tinkbug]

I just wanted to give a brief statement about the situation.

I would just like to know if I could motion to change a final order in Canada. I know nothing about Canadian family law, though I'm sure it's similiar to U.S. family law.

[blinkandimgone]

What was your agreement up until now? Was the child living with you in Texas since he was born? Is the child a US or Canadian citizen or dual citizenship? Did the father have your current contact information to serve you or is it possible he could not locate you and filed ex-parte?

More information would be needed before any can offer any advice. There are probably options but without knowing more it's hard to say.

[florio]

Tinkbug, should I say this sounds very smelly?

So a Canadian court decides such a thing, you don't give any logical detail to understand why, but you add "I am not a bad mother". Get real.

[dadtotheend]

Hey florio, your seven posts so far are what smell fishy!

[Pharah]

This sounds like you have been accused of child abduction by your ex and he has been granted sole custody. Any court order can be changed with a Motion to change. That said, I would think you would have a tough time with that considering the flight risk.

[Tinkbug]

Well I was accused, however he was denied by federal judge that the Hague convention applies. I'm not going to go up there and take her away. I want to do this the right way. I just wanted to know if I could get this changed. I've already determined that I'm going to have to invest in temporary living arragements in Canada, time, legal fees, and loads patience.

I didn't think my entire story would be relevant as I only had one question. Thanks for answering though. I know this isn't going to be an easy process.

[logicalvelocity]

Going at this blind, but it looks like the ON court had jurisdiction to make those current orders in place, otherwise they would not have made the orders.

Good Luck with your proposed change. It appears you are up against significant status quo concerning your child due to passage of time.

[dadtotheend]

I didn't think my entire story would be relevant as I only had one question.

Maybe not, but you're not giving enough background to allow for a decent opinion as to your chances.

As LV says, an order for custody is going to be awfully difficult to change. It will at least many months or even years.

[NBDad]

Personally at this junction you'd be a damn fool to set a single toe onto Canadian soil. He has sole custody of the child the second you do so and it will take you months if not years to correct.

I would invest in a lawyer whose licensed to practice law in Ontario, and do all your work through them.

Your best bet, BY FAR, is to settle with your ex out of court. He has the upper hand now.

[Kimberley]

You haven't actually answered a few very key questions asked by blink earlier on:

What was your agreement up until now?

Was the child living with you in Texas since he was born?

Is the child a US or Canadian citizen or dual citizenship?

Did the father have your current contact information to serve you or is it possible he could not locate you and filed ex-parte?

[logicalvelocity]

Ones conduct would be a relevant consideration in any proposed change.

Without background, looks like they only surfaced with plan of change, once FRO started nipping them in the butt, perhaps by inter-jurisdictional enforcement measures. How long does that usually take to implement?

[Tinkbug]

She is a dual citizen of both countries. We were going back and fourth between countries, as I didn't have residency. I was in Canada with an extended vistors visa at the time.

Here is what happened. My ex boyfriend and I were stay at his parents house. I would go back and fourth between countries with my daughter at all times. I found out I was pregnant again and he wanted me to get an abortion. I refused. I told him that we needed time apart and I was going to go back home. He told me to stay with a friend in Canada instead to think about everything. I did. His family and him packed most of my belongings up in trash bags and took them to me. I was kicked out. I had no family or real friends to turn to, to live with at the time. I was pregnant and terrified.

I contacted the American Embassy there, letting them know that he had my american passport and my child's american passport. They told me I would need a court order to get it back because they do not duplicated passports.

We went to court in Ontario, where we had to sign joint custody to each other on a temporary minutes of settlement. I didn't initial in ANY mobility portions. (One which we are to keep an updated address, number, etc.) and another ( We have to give each other 90 days written consent if we are moving out of the county). I didn't initial these areas, because I was dead set on going back home to Texas because I was pregnant. I was in distress the entire time. I signed this all for our passports back, because that what I was told to do.

I motioned a mobility change at this time in Canada and the judge didn't deny it, he just wouldn't hear it because you can't motion before a case conference he said.

We were given a case conference which the judge then was really nice and said that we need to come to our senses with each other and work things out for the sake of our child. I requested mediation. In mediation I offered that we get our child every 6 months. He said no. He counter-offered me that he will take full custody of her and I get her two weeks of every year. I said no.

Since our temporary agreement said that the scheduled care of our daughter was to be worked out between us. I told him that I was leaving to Texas with her. He stopped calling, stopped answerings, wouldn't reply to texts or emails. I left to Texas. I tried calling him, texting him, emailing him for 8 months after this.

2 months after I had left Canada. He e-mailed a few Canadian temporary orders saying I am to return the child. It later on because final. I didn't return, but I left him messages saying I didn't have the money to come back yet and that I needed time to plan it out. He never replied.

He eventually came down after 9 months and took me to court here in Texas with a probono lawyer he got from the Hague Convention. He lied in most of his material. He lied to the hague saying he had sole custody at the time that i removed the child and wrote that I have prior history of kidnapping which was not true. The judge denied the Hague Convention because the Canadian orders were after I had left and there was no proof of whether or not he told me I couldn't leave as there were no Canadian orders or documents saying I couldn't leave and the fact that I didn't initial mobility portions on our temporary agreement.

But the judge ordered that I give him his joint time with the child because he was exercising his rights as a father. Well now she is back in Canada with him. He hasn't been answering his phone, emails, or texts. He blocked me on websites. I don't over do this. I call him every Thursday or Friday, depending which day I am off and I just call him twice on one of those days.

This is why I want to go to Canada and get my rights!

[logicalvelocity]

Interesting twist. I think I would be taking it back and securing your rights as a parent to your child in Canada and also come to resolution. Seems to me your excuse for bailing has merit. Hows your youngest child doing. Does the Dad have any interest in securing a relationship with this child?

I don't think a 6 month off/on regime of your child will go over well considering their eventual school year that they as a child will be facing. Nonetheless, your youngest child has a stake in their older sibling and vice versa and this is why I think you will "now" have some success in your cause.