newly separated

[chefjayl]

HI my name is Jason, and I have separated from my wife this summer. We have 3 boys all under 10 and share our parenting duties almost 50/50. During the past few 4 years I started a company. During this time my ex also started a company. After separating we discussed the sale of our house. We have now sold it and await the close. She has come to me demanding I pay half of her back taxes for the last few years. This amounts to quite a tidy sum. I also have some back taxes but nothing like hers. From the sale of the home she would like to have her taxes be withdrawn. IS this legal. She tells me it is. And that after the fact she is willing to pay whatever the lawyers tell her she should have to pay me, while I have the kids. I am not very savvy to these issues. I asked her to walk away and pay her own taxes as I do, and I would not persue her for any payments of any kind.
She has declared me as a dependant for the last 4 yerars. In that time my income has been literally zero after all deductions. Hers has been 80K +. I would prefer to have my half of the house, minus our shared debts, ie. line of credit and some renos we borrowed for.
What am I leaving on the table with respects to her, and is it reasonable to ask her to take care of her own taxes?
Just looking for some help, before the money is gone and I have no recourse.
Thanks in advance for your help.
Jason

[dadtotheend]

Time for you to find out what "equaliztion of family property" is all about.

Search this forum on that term and read, read, read and when you're done, read some more.

In a nutshell, you split the growth in your overall financial position between marriage date and separation date. If she incurred some tax debt during the marriage, her statement may well be true, but that is only one piece of the asset and liability puzzle.

Set aside many hours and read up friend. It's all over this forum.

[chefjayl]

equalization?

I shall try to find some reading on this. But some further help might be necessary. I am at a point where I can pay myself, but not what I need to, to maintain a decent life with my boys. I wanted to use my half of the sale of the house to give myself some breathing room. But she seems dead set against it.
I shall read and get back to you.

Thank you.

[Mess]

She is demanding a lot, this is her opening, she will try to wear you down but this is not her best offer, she is shooting high.

You aren't obliged to follow the Family Law Act, you can make your own deal or have a compromise mediated. That said you need to know what your rights are under FLA so that you have a starting point to negotiate from.

You have cared for the children 50/50 while together, this is a a good start. Document as much of this as possible, for example any schedules or attendence records you can come up with. If the children were off school sick, who took care of them? Can you verify it in any way? These are just examples, but I will warn you, the first thing she will do if you challenge her on anything is file a court application that states that she was the "primary caregiver". Be prepared.

Make sure that you continue to have a steady schedule with the kids that is consistant and they know what to expect and this continues the 50/50. "Status Quo" has a lot of power here; if you have had a schedule in place for over 6 months, and a year is better, then this will be supported if she challenges custody in the courts. She may seem reasonable now when it comes to custody, but as soon as it looks like it will cost her a dollar she will fight it.

Right now you two have default joint custody, and you will have joint legal custody (decision making) as long as the children reside with each of you, as long as you don't sign it away or lose it via court order. It doesn't have to be exactly equal. "Shared Parenting" is a designation for any schedule that is within 60/40. It is best to count overnights and try to balance weekend time - you spend more time with them on the weekends of course, and many parents fight over how much school days are worth for the total time. Try to keep it all balanced, also for the kids' sake. Having weekends and holidays with each parent is important; having both parents involved at school is important; having both parents involved in after school sports and activities is important. Try to make your schedule balanced so that the kids benefit from both of you, rather than some contrived schedule that is just adding up days or hours to make up 40%. This is also part of a "Parenting Plan" where you both can show you are involved with their lives.

When you are within 60/40, child support is calculated by taking what you would pay, according to your income and going by the Child Support Tables and subtracting it from what she would pay. Here are the Federal Child Support Guidelines. Read them carefully. It will be difficult to get a divorce order signed if there is 0 child support being paid and you have such disparate incomes. Judges are required to put the children's needs ahead of everything else, and they want to see that each household has a balanced budget for the kids. Because both of you earn your money from businesses there is a lot of leeway in looking at your earnings. Line 150 on your tax return is only a starting place; the courts would not accept a 0. If you want to cut her a fair deal on support, don't say you will accept 0, offer to maximize her expenses on the balance sheet and minimize your own, your net should not be 0, and drasticly reduce the set-off child support payable while still keeping believable numbers.

As far as her taxes and equalization go, do it properly. Look at what her assets/debt were at the date of marriage, and your own. Now look at your assets/debt, including the mat home. Determine what each of your net debt/asset is (including tax debt) and divide any asset to equalize your net. By law you both have to submit accurate financial disclosure or your separation agreement may not be iron clad.

[dadtotheend]

I shall try to find some reading on this. But some further help might be necessary.

No problem, ask away after you have got your head around some rules. There's lots of help here, especially if you do some homework on your own first.

Here's a spreadsheet that will complement your reading:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...-payment-3788/

[chefjayl]

We share the kids pretty equally. I have them Sunday, monday, tuesday, then drop them at school on Wed.
I currently pay for one child to be in day care on monday and tuesday so I can work.
We have been separated since June 16th. And have maintained this schedule since then.
We just sold the house and it closes on Jan 7th. My worry is that she will have the money from OUR house (both names) pay her taxes and the line of credit, in our name, but always used as her personal bank acct, paid off and leave me squat. I won't even be able to pay my back taxes, but hers will be gone.
When I say I made 0, I guess it's misleading. Till lat year I had made less than 20k after deductions.
We share all costs assoc. with the kids. I wanted a clena break, with her taking her taxes and being responsible for childrens activities for 2 years. She hasn;t covered a red penny of childrens activities that occur on my time. I wont have them go without, so I pay it. It's beginning to take a toll on me financially, but do not see an alternative here. It;s for them after all.
My company can pay me now, but not enough. And trying to squeeze too much out of it, is putting it at risk. Which then puts my livelihood and my childrens life with me at serious risk. It's getting to be hard sleeping at night.
I can't afford a lawyer without letting go of something. And the only things I spend on (or mostly) is my boys.
As we both didn't file taxes in a timely manner, we have a lot of back child benefit payments. Due to some wrangling on her behalf, our accountant released her taxes and form to her before being paid, but not me. I see that she has probably applied to get as much benefit money for our 3 boys as possible. I cannot get my taxes till the whole bill for both of us is paid and must wait for the close of the house.
Gov't is breathing down my back for these papers.
Can she claim all the benefits without any of it going to me? Even with a 50/50 split?
Are there inputs regarding work put into the house, in terms of renos done, that offset the division of the houses assets?

[Mess]

No she can't claim all the child tax credit with a 50/50 split. You will need to file your taxes to get the credit, but you can and should file with CRA a form indicating your separation and inform them that you have shared custody. She will then receive the proper amount; otherwise she would have to repay once you file.

Please don't get jerked around by her, let her play games or give in to unreasonable demands just because you feel beaten down and broke right now. In as little as a few months you could recover and regret. Do it properly, if you give a concession then get one in return. She does not have the power over you to take all the concessions unless you give it to her.