Self Representing Question

[dad93]

Hi

If I am self representing, am I able to send letters to my ex's lawyer outlining my position and/or offers to settle. We have a first appearance set for Dec 14.

Thanks

[representingself]

Yes you are....

[anotherSTEPmother]

I would try email, much quicker (with attachments) and then follow up with the mail, December 14 will be here before you know it and you are not likely to get a super prompt response

[BitHunter]

Use emails. They are good. If the lawyer doesn't respond fast enough, politely send it again. Then send it 5 more times if she still doesn't respond. Then call the lawyer and ask her to respond to your emails. The lawyer will hate your ex because of this.

[Mess]

Use emails. They are good. If the lawyer doesn't respond fast enough, politely send it again. Then send it 5 more times if she still doesn't respond. Then call the lawyer and ask her to respond to your emails. The lawyer will hate your ex because of this.

No, the lawyer will charge the ex for 10 minutes minimum billing for each email he reads. He will love you for that.

[dad93]

Thanks all for your responses. A quick question on semantics - should the letter be in the body of the email or as an attachment?

[HammerDad]

Thanks all for your responses. A quick question on semantics - should the letter be in the body of the email or as an attachment?

I would print and sign the letter, scan it and attach it to an email as a PDF stating "see attached correspondence". Forwarding anything that could be deemed ambiguous about the authenticity and contents is not something I recommend.

An unsigned letter may not be considered binding as one could always argue that "Hey, I didn't send that letter, look, I didn't sign it. You have no proof it was me aside from an email from my account which others may have access to" as a means of trying to back out of offers/concessions made.

[Mess]

It should be mentioned here, you should add the words "Without Prejudice" to the top of your offers, and you should research the term and understand what it does and does not protect you from. In brief it keeps negotiations "off the record" but it is not a carte blanche to write anything you like.

[logicalvelocity]

Although, offers to settle are very wise and intuitive;

How far apart are the sides of all or part settlement of the issues with consideration to first appearance?

[rustedinnocence]

you might also want to put a responce time frame in there as well.
my lawyer requests a reply by 7 days... if they don't reply by then, then you know they have not accepted and you don't have to keep waiting because the offer will expire after the reply by date...
and FYI, a fax to their office works as well.. immediate delivery and a confirmation page that it has been sent.

[dad93]

Although, offers to settle are very wise and intuitive;

How far apart are the sides of all or part settlement of the issues with consideration to first appearance?

That's a good question. I currently have my son's two nights a week (4:30 - 7:30) and everyother weekend (overnight for the oldest - 3.5yrs, not the youngest - 13months). The none overnights were done due to my youngest breastfeeding. Breastfeeding ended in August. Since then, my ex has refused overnights for the youngest. I have asked for overnights on the nights I have them (the two nights a week and every other weekend) by no later than April when the youngest is 18 months. She has strategically offered me 8 overnights a month - with the remaining 4 being "evening visits". She has not told me why. So my conclusions are child support and control. For me, this has nothing to do with money - I just want to be an equal parent to my kids. I basically drive them to their mother's two nights a week to be put to bed. I live 5kms away from her. My oldest doesn't understand why he has to leave sometimes and why he doesn't other. To make matters worse, the weekends I do have them, i need to drive the youngest back to his mothers while the oldest stays over...it's unnecessarily confusing. I won't settle for be an unequal parent - even if I don't have exactly 50/50.

So I don't think we are far apart but it seems my ex is willing to go to court to hold onto her child support. We have joint legal custody.