drop off dispute

[his_mine_and_ours]

My ex and I presently live about 10 houses away from eachother and have shared 50/50 custody. My question is, in 2 weeks I will be moving about an hour away and my ex is refusing to return them to me. The visitaion will remain the same and I will be returning them to him on his day but he claims that because I am the one moving away the he does not have to do the drive to return them to me. Should the drive not be equally split between us or does he have the right not to return them to me?
TIA Tracy

[blinkandimgone]

He's right. Why should he have to take on more responsibility for a choice YOU are making?

How old are your kids? If you're moving an hour away and still planning to maintain 50/50 I assume your kids are not in school yet. (correct me if I'm wrong) If this is the case and you're choosing to move an hour away, have you considered what you'll do when the children start school?

[Technodaddy]

My guess is here is what will happen...

If you want to see them you will pick them up... and vice versa.

It that how the exchange happens?

[NBDad]

My ex and I presently live about 10 houses away from eachother and have shared 50/50 custody. My question is, in 2 weeks I will be moving about an hour away and my ex is refusing to return them to me.

He cannot refuse to give them to you. He CAN refuse to split the driving. If you move and YOU want the kids for YOUR time...you go get them. You also would be responsible for RETURNING them barring agreement from him for 1/2 the transporting.

The visitation will remain the same and I will be returning them to him on his day but he claims that because I am the one moving away the he does not have to do the drive to return them to me.

He is right, you are wrong.

Should the drive not be equally split between us or does he have the right not to return them to me?

Drive should NOT be split unless he knew that this would be happening eventually and the understanding was that the existing arrangement was temporary. (and you can back that up in writing) Your choices are to either get him to agree (which may mean giving up something in return. Who pays CS to whom currently? Who collects CCTB?).

If HE is paying YOU CS, then you could try and offer to reduce the CS amount by the amount of his increased travel costs to compensate him. If you are paying CS, then you offer MORE $$ to compensate for the increased access costs, in exchange for him agreeing to do half the transporting.

You can try to force a motion in court, but then you potentially get to defend against an application for sole custody from him, given you are the one moving and a 2 hour drive is not in the children's best interests in a 50-50 split.

[dadtotheend]

In general I have always found that the best way to split driving to pickups is that the person getting the kids does the driving.

[Kenny]

I have been through this time and again. At first, it was my Ex who moved an hour away then me who moved, both for work.

But first, as far as the law is concerned, custody still must be honoured! Although I am very sensitive to the way he feels, he still must return the kids as per your agreement.

The only good part about transferring the kids somewhere in the middle is there is less driving twice per week. The down side of that is that sometimes we get delayed and the other party is waiting for you.

I agree that, generally if the person getting the kids drives, there is less stress. People move. It is a part of life. When divorced people move with kids, it is a harder part of life. Believe me, I know.

[dadtotheend]

When divorced people move with kids, it is a harder part of life. Believe me, I know.

So do 99% of the people here

[Kenny]

So do 99% of the people here

The bright side is, at least the kids are seeing both parents. Something that often does not occur.