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Children's Aid??? The visits

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  • Children's Aid??? The visits

    We are under court order for 1 visit per month from CAS. I was told there would be one month each at each home. However for the last three months CAS has only been visiting my ex when the child is there.
    What Should I make of this? Seems they would be getting a biased story if only they hear one side????

    Any help or re-assurance appreciated.

  • #2
    Do you have a CAS case worker?

    Do you have a designated case worker?

    I lived next door to one when I lived in Ontario, and while I've never experienced it myself with my kids, I would make sure you have really good communication with her.

    The Case Worker who lived next door to me had no kids, but had a really fem-nazi view of custody and parenting... She and her husband came over often for coffee and she scared the XXXX out of me with her views.

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    • #3
      Don't kid yourself. They are NOT your friends.

      Comment


      • #4
        CAS focusing more on your ex than you is a GOOD thing. I would read that as they have no issue with you or your household and are monitoring the situation a little more carefully at his.

        Avoid them if you can. They are an overworked, underpaid organization with little to no checks and balances to their power. What they are legally ALLOWED to do, and what they convince YOU they are allowed to do, can be very VERY different things.

        Offer nothing, respond with as little information as you can when dealing with CAS, and NEVER allow them to speak with your children without yourself or your lawyer present.

        Simply document the fact that the worker is not monitoring your household, just in case they try to submit any kind of report. If it's less favorable to you, you can claim that it's biased as they did not review YOUR household and thus cannot draw an accurate picture. If any report submitted is FAVORABLE to you, then you use the lack of concern over your household to strengthen your case.

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        • #5
          I have had experience with CAS and don't agree with the comments above. CAS does not have a mandate to take children away from their parents, it's exactly the opposite.

          My spouse used work for an organization called CAPC Brighter Futures which worked closely with CAS and did home visits with at risk families. When my ex called CAS on me (twice now), if not for my spouse I would have closed the door in their face and things would have gotten really bad. Instead, I let them in willingly, where they interviewed me and my son. They saw there was no problem and I have since received a summary of the report from CAS to use in court, stating that there are no issue with my care of my son.

          CAS can be used a resources for access services in the community like Brighter Futures. I recommend calling CAS, opening a dialog with your worker and invite them to your home. That way you will know you are doing what was asked by the court.

          Comment


          • #6
            And I will disagree with the comments bellow.

            I got tricked into thinking they were there to help us go thru the separation while minimizing the impact on the children. I was duped into thinking I was doing the right thing because in CAS's own words " we dont get a lot of fathers cooperating with us so we realy appretiate what your doing".

            I opened my heart to them cause I had nothing to hide. I truly thought they were there for my children. I was reasured that there involvement was srtickly geared towards the children. But then I started realizing that she was visiting my ex on a somewhat regular bassis. Then came the Plan of action which was riddled with accusations, false claims and personal attacks. I had to fight with them to remove false accusations from the plan. I came to realize that there involvement was only to assist her in her parenting alianation and I have the evidence on the form of tones of missing information provided to them, in the form of audio, text and communication book. Seriouse health conserns like smoking in the house when my daughter has a serious heart condition was provided to them where nothing was investigated.

            Hopefuly my case worker does not represent what CAS is suppose to be.

            Here are some things I would do if I had the chance to start over.

            Keep your answers short
            Do not assume they are there for your children only
            Do not volonteer any information
            DO NOTE SIGN ANYTHING, you dont have to
            Be warry when they compliment your actions and they will do that to make you feel at ease with them
            Make sure ALL meeting and content are recorded in your journal.
            Ask for a signed copy of ALL NOTES taken by them during your meetings TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE NOT SELECTIVE IN WHAT THEY RIGHT DOWN. Thats what hapened in my case, information went missing?????
            Bring support ( friend, family....) at all meetings. You have the right.
            Do not discuse your own plan of action in your seperation procedings.
            Do not discuse legal information.

            They truly hurt me. I thought we were working together for the sake of my children but now I feel stupid for opening up to them like I did.

            The reality I'm living right now is they couldn't care less about my children even if they claim they did. They are acting like a personal counselor to my ex indirectly providing her with legal information and couseling in seperation ( she is self representing).

            Perhaps looking at their own system would answer why fathers don't or are sceptical in cooperating with them.

            I'm not saying they are all bias towards men
            But be careful, be very careful

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Pharah View Post
              I have had experience with CAS and don't agree with the comments above. CAS does not have a mandate to take children away from their parents, it's exactly the opposite.
              Their public agenda is about support for families but that is a lofty ideal. How they market themselves and how they operate are two different things.

              The reality is that you are not given information about how they feel things are going. When you ask how the investigation is proceeding to get an interim feel for their take on things their stock answer is a nice little passing of the buck along the lines of "I will have to get back to you after I discuss it with my (nameless faceless) supervisor". You are always left in the dark wondering what they are thinking until they actually close the file.

              They hide behind the anonymity provided by the the law and their internal policies. As a result parents are forced to go about their lives in absolute fear while they conduct their investigation, which itself can take months. It's horrible. I've been there. And the worker we dealt with was quite reasonable. Can you imagine how I would have felt if we got a bad apple?

              The other reality is that the case worker assigned to you may have their own personal bias (not necessarily gender, but that too maybe). They are often inexperienced, maybe even just out of school, and maybe trying to stamp their deisre to crusade for children on your file. I haven't personally experienced that but believe me the fear of bias is real.

              Unlike the court where so is much is out in the open and where judges are checked by public scrutiny on their decisions and the possiblity of appeal, the CAS gets to act under the cloak of privacy, in disclosing their sources, their supervisors and the reasons for their decisions. They are only subjected to public scrutiny in a courtroom long after the effect of those decisions has been imposed on families.

              I'm not saying they are evil, I'm simply saying that you need to be very careful with them. They provide a necessary service to the community and I would like to believe that most of their work is good. But do not for a minute think they are your advocate. They are the children's advocate and they have huge power to really disrupt, even destroy, your life. It just take one green, ideal-driven unchecked case worker to really screw you around, especially if that person has their own agenda.
              Last edited by dadtotheend; 11-11-2010, 11:06 AM.

              Comment


              • #8
                quote]
                Can you imagine how I would have felt if we got a bad apple?



                Decived, lied to, used against your own kids, played, stupid are words that come to mind for me.

                My 13 yrl son doesn't realy want to talk to case worker anymore because he said she lies to them. And they get in shit from their mother for saying things to the case worker like, we (my children) dont want mom to smoke in the house because of my daughters health.

                She seemed so sincere and honest.

                Perhaps one day, and I dont wish that on the case worker, but she will be in the same situation when she has children ( she admited she has no kids yet). And then maybe she will realise how the things she's done are capable of deepely hurting children and their family.

                Don't they realise what some of them are doing is counter productive for the psycological well being of growing children???

                Gee!! I wonder how those affected children will handl a similar situation if it ever comes up in their future relationships? Good exemple

                Comment


                • #9
                  Way back in late 2006, just after my daughter moved to Ottawa with me and my son was constantly asking to do the same, CAS received a magical anonymous email detailing absurdities with respect to me resulting is a CAS case worker visiting my home.

                  The first thing CAS did was pull my young teen daughter out of school where, according to her, tried for an hour to have her agree to the absurdities about me. Having a strong willed daughter and the allegations being untrue, the interview with her proved fruitless.

                  Then the case worker came into my home. It was not an interview; it was an interrogation - I know the difference! Being a trained interviewer and interviewee, I was as much pumping him for information as him me.

                  The real problem/issue was that the case worker himself didn't believe the allegations and eventually admitted that he was only at my home because he was "told" to by higher CAS echelons.

                  All-in-all, nothing came of it. But I tried to probe CAS to find out what the real deal was.

                  CAS is equivalent to drumhead justice. Guilt is always assumed; justice is swift and harsh; and appeals are denied!

                  What an organization!

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                  • #10
                    In my case CAS has been a god sent.....they babysit my ex and his ridiculous games. Everything is case noted that he does, although they cannot do much but encourage him to do the right thing and document! When this goes to court the CAS file can be opened in trial ...it has helped my kids because although my ex does alot of malicious things to me and uses the kids as tools to do so.....having CAS involved has kept it somewhat workable...he doesnt like to look like an asshole to the public....only secretly to me....so it can help the children alot.

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                    • #11
                      I will say that CAS has a place. My ex-spouse used to work for Child Protection Services New Brunswick and the things she saw were terrible.

                      CAS' issue is their amount of power and ability to exercise that power without discretion, accountability and transparency. But yes, I am sure they are also responsible for saving many children from terrible situations. But sometimes I question their focus.

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                      • #12
                        And their seeming unwillingness to acknowledge the fear that their presence instills in people.

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                        • #13
                          There is something to be said when a CAS worker veers off the CAS Mandate and tries to help the mother ( perhaps from self destruction) but none the less, instead of the children.

                          I can also imagine how many what if,s had the CAS NEVER interveen. Good and bad unfortunatly.

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                          • #14
                            IN my case CAS helped the kids emotional well being by keeping tabs on the "games" played by their dad.

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                            • #15
                              dadforlife, you say don't sign anything. I have a case worker coming to my place Monday morning. She wants me to sign a "Consent to Disclosure of a Person's Record" which will consent to the disclosure to my ex of the record compiled by the Children's Aid Society concerning myself and our daughter. My lawyer says to go ahead and sign it as long as the case worker proves my ex has signed one as well. Any reason why I shouldn't sign?

                              Comment

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