6 days post interim hearing...already having problems with access via telephone

[gooddadgoingmad]

Ok...so my lawyer went to court for me on monday past regarding access issues with my son ( i wasn't being allowed to talk to him via phone )

Between my lawyer and ex's lawyer, they were able to work out something a half hour before the hearing which was then court ordered. It went something like this:

I send ex a calling card and she has to use it to call me to allow me to speak to my son, for now, on tuesdays and thursdays. This is because by the time I get home from work in the days ( at 5 ) it is already his bedtime. Therefore she is to use the calling card I sent to call me at my job at 4 which is an hour before my sons bedtime. So, pre-paid calling card is in the mail....she should get it next week.

The other part of the order was that she must allow ME to call my son on saturday and sundays. Ok, so here's the problem...ALREADY! Aaaargggg!!

This being saturday....and remember....I have not been allowed by her to speak to my son for nearly 3 weeks now....I got up an hour ago and called my boy. This is what happened:

Ex: Hello?
Me: I'd like to speak to Jimmy please. ( not his real name )
Ex: Who is this?
Me. Bob ( not my real name )
Ex: Bob who?
Aaaarrrrggg!
Me: You know who Bob is!
Ex: Silence and then " Bob the jerk!?"
Me: Please put Jimmy on the phone
Silence...
Jimmy: HI Daddy!!!
Silence...phone hung up.

So...this is just 6 days after the court order. How do I get past this? I feel like tearing my hair out I'm soooo frustrated!! I am fearful that my son is hearing her say these things...and I know he's picking up on her hostility! Furthermore, I once again did not get to talk to him or he to me! I am so sad this morning....

I am going to call back...keep trying until I get to talk to him.

Any suggestions?
Thanks guys
Gdgm

[Jenny]

Record the phone calls maybe? From what I read it is legal as long as one person ( you) knows that you are recording. Otherwise my only suggestion really would be that you just don't let her get under your skin. Try to be as pleasant as possible. Take the high road. Eventually the anger might subside. Jeff blogged about this a couple of weeks ago.

[logicalvelocity]

I would indeed record the phone. Being called those names in front of the child over the telephone in the presence of the child is not appropriate. Does your ex not realize that your child loves you and when your ex defames you it is in essence defaming and hurting the child. Continue with the phone calls, say or do nothing to provoke and let her name call you all she wants. Get evidence and show to the courts who they really are.

[gooddadgoingmad]

Hi L/V and Jenny,

I think you guys are right. I am going to see if I can somehow order in a recorder so that I can tape these calls. This is getting to the point of ridiculousness with my ex.

I was finally able to talk to my son. I kept calling for hours after the initial call...and the line was busy. When I was able to get through, my son actually answered so this was great. However, his mother was talking in the background saying things to my son while we were trying to talk. She also said something to him ( i could hear her) and my son came back on the line and said ( obviously repeating what she had said to him ) " can you send me money for my birthday?" I said, " daddy will send you a present don't worry" and then she said something else and my son said " i've got to go now because we are going out " ....

Soooo, I actually only got to talk to him for about 5 minutes. I am disturbed that the ex is telling my son to ask for money. I religiously pay my child support and I frequently send gifts and such. I just don't think she should be using him this way.....

I'm off to find out how to tape the calls. Thanks guys...
GDGM

[Deut7]

Just so that all know, In Canada it is law that you advise the party on the other end of a phone call that the call is being taped. If you fail to do this, you will not be able to get this evidence into court. It will be struck down from a standpoint that the person who was being taped was not aware. If you listen in on a lot of business calls such as to say Bell Canada, they will say : Our calls are being recorded to assist in Customer service and training of our employees" That is legal disclaimer you must use when taping any phone call. Otherwise the Courts will not listen to it as it is Inadmissable as evidence under the Rules of Evidence.

[dadtotheend]

Thanks for responding to a four and a half year old thread and telling us information that is readily available in dozens and dozens of more recent threads.

Good to see you're keeping up on your legal skills

[logicalvelocity]

Nothing is absolute when it comes to children and their best interest. Discretion of admissible evidence during adjudication rests with the respective in determining those interests.

One could convey the "private communication" as just that in affidavit format. First hand knowledge. If it's contested, they, the other side, should have no problem accepting admittance or face introduction of true copy of same.