am i wrong ???

[rustedinnocence]

I thought that you could contact the other persons lawyer.
Am I wrong?
My ex's lawyer wanted some information forwarded to their office. They sent this letter to my lawyer. My lawyer emailed me a copy of it.
I in turn, sent a letter via fax with the requested information to my ex's lawyer. (yes, I was trying to keep my lawyer costs down by writing a simple letter with the simple information in it, myself......all they wanted to know was where something was)
Wow - i got a slap for sending my ex's lawyer something directly and told that I was not aloud to communicate directly with his lawyer.
I though that a lot of people on this site did up their own letters and forms and submitted it to their ex's lawyers... am I wrong in thinking this?
His lawyer's response was a letter sent to my lawyers office that said to advise me to send all correspondance and comments through my lawyers office rather than directly sending anything to him, as is required through the rules of professional conduct.
Then MY lawyer send me an email with his lawyers letter attached and my lawyer said that I can not communicate to the other parties lawyer or the other party about any matters pertaining to this separation. All communication must be done through my lawyer.
OYE.... if i have to communicate EVERYTHING through the lawyers and can't talk to my ex about anything either, how are we ever going to get all the stuff done without it costing a fortune... like seperating household objects, etc... ?
Is this right? are you not aloud to contact the other persons lawyer even if they have requested SIMPLE information from me?
How did other people on this site write their own letters? Can you only do some of the easy footwork if you represent yourself?
Mercy....what a learning curve....

[standing on the sidelines]

Geesh talk about lawyers working together to stiff it to their clients. I am not sure about the rules but in my eyes you did nothing wrong.

[billiechic]

If your ex is willing to accept communication from you (or certain forms of communication) then there is NOTHING the lawyers can say about it. They work for YOU!

I can't answer as to the rest though. Maybe someone else can?

[anotherSTEPmother]

If you have a lawyer then it should be communication between for YOUR best interests (with an exception of your financial interests) because your lawyer can only represent you based on what they know, if other communication is happening then it can complicate things opening the lawyer up to liabilities. The ONLY time you can communicate directly with the other parties lawyer is when you are SELF REPRESENTED! And in that case it is usually by email only so they can keep a records of all communications.

But the only thing that can stop you from talking to your ex partner about proceedings is a court order indicating so. This is where the lawyer is stiffing you in my opinion, because if you guys can work things out together even if it is JUST one item then great for you but less $$ for the lawyer.

[HammerDad]

You can communicate with your ex as you wish, unless there is an agreement or order providing otherwise.

If you both have lawyers, any communication from Side A to Side's B lawyer should be sent by Side A's lawyer.

If self represented, I believe all communication should go directly to the ex as they can then forward it to their lawyer as they choose.

[anotherSTEPmother]

In extremely high conflict situations where their is only one lawyer, they tend to be in the middle, BUT Hammerdad you are right I believe in our case it was HER decision to have everything go through her lawyer.

[tugofwar]

I think since you are both being represented, then it`s pretty much protocol you go thru them and not deal directly with the other lawyer.

But in saying that I don`t understand if the other party is requesting info, you have it that you shouldn`t be able to forward it directly to them then giving a copy to your lawyer.

The other lawyer could say they never received it etc or ignore what you had sent all together unless you have a fax confirmation of date, time and number it was faxed to. They have a protocol on what information needs to be on the fax letter so maybe some of the information was not provided.

[rwm1273]

My ex was cc her lawyer on her emails to me when she was trying to complain about the summer access. I merely cc'd him too on my replies. He wasn't happy, and my lawyer called me to tell me not to do it any more, but found it funny, and enjoyed her conversation with the ex's lawyer. My ex stopped emailing me with her demands.

But on the other issue about not having representation, if your ex does, then you are free to contact their lawyer, and it may be better to do so than contact the ex. Depending on the contact needed, it may be in your best interest to contact the other lawyer, such as providing financial information or other documents.

I would be more worried that the ex would claim not to have gotten the documents before I worried about the other lawyer making that claim. But of course that depends on the professionalism of the lawyer.

[Kenny]

There is no law saying that you can't talk to the other parties lawyer. Saying that, normally lawyers like to deal with lawyers because they speak the same language, and yes, they don't mind the billable hours. Usually their lawyer will only talk to you if you are self-represented. Even then, that will only last as long as they like what you are saying. However, if you don't have a lawyer, the other parties lawyer MUST still communicate with you through letters, forms, etc as required by law.