Harasement charges. This ever happen to you or someone you know

[dadforlife]

Ok, so I call my daughter on her bday at 7 pm as per the agreement, ex has interim custody. My son answers and I inform him that I will be picking them up in 30 minutes. She rips the phone from his hand and tells me im not going to see my daughter on her bday as per our argeement the night before. I try calling back several times but she keeps hanging up on me. The day after, I get arrested at work for criminal harasement. She claims she warned me not to call back to wish my daughter happy bday.Bull shit. She claims she's real scared for her safety and my children. Bull shit. She sends me a text later on the evening after i stop calling telling me im not going to see our children as per the kids wishes for that weekend. I end up in the big house overnight. Can't see my childrern until C.A.S. investigates. One week later C.A.S. meets with my children 10 and 12 yrl. Day after, 10 am CAS meets with me. 11 am CAS tells me I can resume visitations right away. 2:30 pm pick up my kids from school, my weekend.I ask CAS what was told to my children about this incident. CAS worker informs me ex told the kids not to worry about it. Find out from son and daughter that afternoon ex's mother was there pushing her to call the cops, in front of my children. Ex told them the cops put me in jail cause I called to many times and she had a restraining order against me (not true) and would not be seeing their dad for long time. Contact CAS and ask why children have fairly accurate details of incident, worker says thats not the info ex gave her and leaves it at that.

Ex shows up for the Case Conference (that she requested) scheduled the day after my arrest. Obviously im not there, im in court for bail hearing ( at bail hearing ,family friend, there to pick me up hears crown lawyer say this man should not be here, this is a bogus charge) pleaded not guilty.Day after, call family law clerk, find out Judge proceeded with case conference without my presence and schedules next conference at end of month. Judge asks why im not there yet, ex tells him im in prison.

Is this coincidence.
Can this play in her favore in family law court?

Other than love for my children, patience and hope that she will be discovered for the DEAD BEAT MOM that she is, what am i to do

This is so @$%^&*#@"""@#$%^&*&^$%#$@# frustrating.

[tugofwar]

That is just horrible and sad to think stuff like this happens in real life.
I think she and her mother planned it to happen that way.
I hope you have a good lawyer cause that just seems sooo messed up.
The mother has custody, she will lose it if you are able to prove all that she has done...
Im sorry to hear what you went thru

[NBDad]

I try calling back several times but she keeps hanging up on me

There's where you went wrong.

Call ONCE, if she freaks and hangs up on you, then you send her an email asking for a make up time to call the children due to her hanging up on you.

Don't reply to any nasty grams she sends, if she refuses a make up time, simply document document document, and then use it as affidavit evidence against her in court.

Use the false charge and what the children said to you in affidavit evidence. Use any reports you get from the incident or from CAS to back up your position.

It sucks you didn't get to speak to your daughter for her birthday, but obviously your ex is playing hardball.

Protect yourself.

[rwm1273]

Yes I have seen this kind of game played before. Been a victim of it too.

Do you have a lawyer? I would get the transcripts to your bail hearing.

Also when you get your ex's next affidavit and she is going on about how you were arrested, I would do examinations on her affidavit, and have her provide the details of her complaint to the police that got you arrested. This would be one of the only ways you would be able to get her police report, and this would show what kind of lies she is willing to make up to control your time with the kids.

I would then bring this evidence to court and ask for a change of custody. I would also go and have a chat with the police, and see if they would be willing to lay a charge of public mischief on your ex, which most likely won't happen, but they may be willing to put a note into their system to be on the lookout for her making further false accusations.

[dadtotheend]

I would get the transcripts to your bail hearing.

How come??

[rwm1273]

How come??

Because if what the crown said was recorded, then there would be a record of what they felt about the case and it's merits.

"at bail hearing ,family friend, there to pick me up hears crown lawyer say this man should not be here, this is a bogus charge"

At one of my criminal hearings, this was basically what was said, and even the history of the numerous previous charges were discussed. The judge asked the crown why we were there, and the crown replied that it was because of how the ex was able to make a private person's complaint, and there was no investigation. The charges were withdrawn.

[MikeOwenSound]

document everything with this person, every conversation, every time you call, every time they call, the times the call started and the time it ended. There will be transcripts of the case conference, and of your bail hearing, and I know its hard but it seems that ending conversations when they get out of control is the most logical way to deal with this person.

Subpoena the CAS records. Get yourself a lawyer and if you can't afford one go to legal aid and get a lawyer that way.

Remember its about the kids, not your satisfaction to how this person treated you.

Good luck!

[rwm1273]

You will need to request the information from CAS with a FOIP request.

IPC - Office of the Information and Privacy Commissioner/Ontario | Accessing Personal Information

[dadforlife]

Thank you ever so much for the information. I will take some of the steps mentioned.

I can not afford a lawyer but lets just say i am in good hands legaly. You are right about the calls. I never should have call so many times but it was just heart breaking specialy that my family was at my house to suprise my daughter. My mistake. I,ve been warned about not getting caught in her traps. Feels like im divorcing Her, her mom and her best friend.

In hopes that justice prevails and soon cause my children are living this nightmare.

[Teddie]

Thank you ever so much for the information. I will take some of the steps mentioned.

I can not afford a lawyer but lets just say i am in good hands legaly. You are right about the calls. I never should have call so many times but it was just heart breaking specialy that my family was at my house to suprise my daughter. My mistake. I,ve been warned about not getting caught in her traps. Feels like im divorcing Her, her mom and her best friend.

In hopes that justice prevails and soon cause my children are living this nightmare.

I'm new at this game but you need a lawyer asap! The longer this goes on the the worse it will get and the less you will see or hear from your kids. Pull whatever strings you have to but get a lawyer.

[billiechic]

I agree. She is playing nasty games and is going to continue to play them. You need someone who is well versed in these tactics and the law. This is not the type of case to try to self-rep. Believe me, I tried and the judge told me to get council.

To go ahead without legal representation is taking a BIG risk!

[AtALoss]

A lawyer has alot more weight and is given alot more information from a CAS file than the average person. Sounds that this is one of those times that you need thier power behind you.

[dadforlife]

She is also self representing.

I have accumulated a mountain of text, writen communications between both of us and audio from my children telling me things like, mom let us read the OCL aplication, mom and her best friend told us we're not permited to move in with you till we are 16. I also have evidence that her mom and friend are trying to influence my children and lost more.

I have had the police at my door over 9 times in the last year for investigations on her claims but nothing ever happen. I will be requesting at the Case Conference that an assesment be done should she refuse 50/50. because of my children's age I have no doubt that putting us through an assesment from the person I will request ( well kown assesor for cases like this one) at my cost if need be, will shed light on what her motives realy are. At that point I will be requesting full custody.

for now I must remain cautious and patient.

[dadtotheend]

You should be very careful that you don't fall into the trap of using that mountain of evidence for the sole purpose of trashing the mother.

Don't forget that this is as much, or more, about why you are a good parent as it is why she isn't.

If you direct all your energy at making sure the custody assessor and the courts know what a bad parent she is, it could backfire on you.

[rwm1273]

Here are two laws that you may be interested in. It may be better fro you to get others to do your fighting for you. When the police come to your home next, discuss with them the fact that they had been at your home several times before based on her complaints, and that they should do something to prevent this abuse of the system. I doubt they would charge her, but perhaps explaining to her the laws may make her think twice about using them to bully you.

138. [Offences relating to affidavits] Every one who
(a) signs a writing that purports to be an affidavit or statutory declaration and to have been sworn or declared before him when the writing was not so sworn or declared or when he knows that lie has no authority to administer the oath or declaration,
(b) uses or offers for use any writing purporting to be an affidavit or statutory declaration that lie knows was not sworn or declared, as the case may be, by the affiant or declarant or before a person authorized in that behalf, or
(c) signs as affiant or declarant a writing that purports to be an affidavit or statutory declaration and to have been sworn or declared by him, as the case may be, when the writing was not so sworn or declared,
is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding two years.
S.R., ch. C-34, art. 126




140. (1) [Public mischief] Every one commits public mischief who, with intent to mislead, causes a peace officer to enter on or continue an investigation by
(a) making a false statement that accuses some other person of having committed an offence;
(b) doing anything intended to cause some other person to be suspected of having committed an offence that the other person has not committed, or to divert suspicion from himself;
(c) reporting that an offence has been committed when it has not been committed; or
(d) reporting or in any other way making it known or causing it to be made known that he or some other person has died when he or that other person has not died.
(2) [Punishment] Every one who commits
public mischief
(a) is guilty of an indictable offence and liable
to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years;or
(b) is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction.
S.R., ch. C-34, art. 128; 1972, ch. 13, art. 8; L.R., ch. 27 ( 1^er suppl.), art. 19.