I was married 16 1/2 yrs. We have now been separated 5 1/2 years. Our legal Final Court Order was signed 3 years ago. It was to go to court but with the death of my mom that same week it was delayed. His lawyer drew up some papers and had them faxed to the hospital, I signed them and sent them back as I was not in any shape to go to court.
We have 3 boys ages 16, 17, 19. They did not want to move away from their friends and school's/university (I was forced to move out of stalking/control issues with X) so the boys moved into the matramonial home back with their father.
A few (of the many) lines of our Final Court Order states
#1 "Respondent Father have custody of children". I only signed this letting the children know that it needn't matter who has custody, we are both their parents and love them the same. I really signed it because he is very controlling and would never have left me alone if I didn't.
#2 "The applicant pay no child support for the children in consideration of the applicant having agreed to a smaller equalization payment from respondent, having given up her claim for constructive trust and in consideration of her having waived any arrears of child and spousal support and having waived any future payment of spousal support" We owned 3 houses together. He never paid child support or spousal for the 2 1/2 yrs before the agreement. He stayed in the matrimonial home as he would not leave and wanted to keep me under his eye so I moved out with the children. I left him alone financially and did not seek his pension or equalization. I drive to see the boys every other weekend.
#3 "In the even that an order is made obliging the applicant to make a child support payment to the respondent pursuant to the federal provincial C.S. Guidelines contrary to this order, the respondent shall forthwith fully indemnify the applicant for any and all such payments that she is ordered to make." He is not granting me a divorce now unless I pay child support. He lost his job of 23 yrs just last year and is angry I do not pay child support. He forgets what I gave up financially when we signed.
My problem is... he refuses to give me a divorce. I have requested in email 2 times a year for the last 3 years and he deny's me. He says no judge will allow me to divorce him because I do not pay child support. He feels he is wrongfully treated because I pay no child support. I reminded him today in the email of the above points that HIS lawyer had written up. He states that "I need to find a real job, one that I can punch in and out of and pay him child support. That he will not grant my divorce and to re-try him in a year. He said he will contest it and that no judge would grant me one anyway". I have an amazing job that I enjoy and he knows this. Of course it is his last attempt at controlling me. He has always begrudged me of my job because he had no control of when I started or finished as I was self employed. He feels cheated out of child support. I was cheated out of child support for 2 1/2 years that he never paid and he made a great wage. He was laid off last year but also came into a large upper 6 digit sum of money left from a relative. He does not plan on finding a job now.
In the end it is the children who suffer, hence one reason why I never sought the money that was owed to me after our separation because it ultimately comes out of the kids pockets in the end.
Can I apply for a divorce and do you think he can contest it on grounds of child support? The papers were signed and I gave up ALOT of money that was owed to me from arrears and equalization of properties ect.
The stories are horrific of the mental abuse I suffered from him and the control he put over me and my life. Example of why I never sought alimony was , and I quote from him.. "Dead X wives cannot cash alimony cheques".
Please, any help would be great. I do NOT want to seek anymore lawyers and cannot afford anymore. I just want an un-contested divorce at the least. I want to know that if he contests it on grounds for support, will it have a hope in H377 of being changed.
For those of you who made it to the bottom of this lengthy message, thank you for reading and I look forward to any responses.
Rhonda
We have 3 boys ages 16, 17, 19. They did not want to move away from their friends and school's/university (I was forced to move out of stalking/control issues with X) so the boys moved into the matramonial home back with their father.
A few (of the many) lines of our Final Court Order states
#1 "Respondent Father have custody of children". I only signed this letting the children know that it needn't matter who has custody, we are both their parents and love them the same. I really signed it because he is very controlling and would never have left me alone if I didn't.
#2 "The applicant pay no child support for the children in consideration of the applicant having agreed to a smaller equalization payment from respondent, having given up her claim for constructive trust and in consideration of her having waived any arrears of child and spousal support and having waived any future payment of spousal support" We owned 3 houses together. He never paid child support or spousal for the 2 1/2 yrs before the agreement. He stayed in the matrimonial home as he would not leave and wanted to keep me under his eye so I moved out with the children. I left him alone financially and did not seek his pension or equalization. I drive to see the boys every other weekend.
#3 "In the even that an order is made obliging the applicant to make a child support payment to the respondent pursuant to the federal provincial C.S. Guidelines contrary to this order, the respondent shall forthwith fully indemnify the applicant for any and all such payments that she is ordered to make." He is not granting me a divorce now unless I pay child support. He lost his job of 23 yrs just last year and is angry I do not pay child support. He forgets what I gave up financially when we signed.
My problem is... he refuses to give me a divorce. I have requested in email 2 times a year for the last 3 years and he deny's me. He says no judge will allow me to divorce him because I do not pay child support. He feels he is wrongfully treated because I pay no child support. I reminded him today in the email of the above points that HIS lawyer had written up. He states that "I need to find a real job, one that I can punch in and out of and pay him child support. That he will not grant my divorce and to re-try him in a year. He said he will contest it and that no judge would grant me one anyway". I have an amazing job that I enjoy and he knows this. Of course it is his last attempt at controlling me. He has always begrudged me of my job because he had no control of when I started or finished as I was self employed. He feels cheated out of child support. I was cheated out of child support for 2 1/2 years that he never paid and he made a great wage. He was laid off last year but also came into a large upper 6 digit sum of money left from a relative. He does not plan on finding a job now.
In the end it is the children who suffer, hence one reason why I never sought the money that was owed to me after our separation because it ultimately comes out of the kids pockets in the end.
Can I apply for a divorce and do you think he can contest it on grounds of child support? The papers were signed and I gave up ALOT of money that was owed to me from arrears and equalization of properties ect.
The stories are horrific of the mental abuse I suffered from him and the control he put over me and my life. Example of why I never sought alimony was , and I quote from him.. "Dead X wives cannot cash alimony cheques".
Please, any help would be great. I do NOT want to seek anymore lawyers and cannot afford anymore. I just want an un-contested divorce at the least. I want to know that if he contests it on grounds for support, will it have a hope in H377 of being changed.
For those of you who made it to the bottom of this lengthy message, thank you for reading and I look forward to any responses.
Rhonda
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