Gaining Access

[LostFather]

I have a good friend of mine, he has been trying to unsuccessfully gain regular access to his now 2 1/2 year old son, he tried unsuccessfully to give her child support and I believe him, she has money and does not want his. She also does no want him to see the child unless it's on her time and terms.

He's been hoping that this can be done without the courts interference, but I told him the clock is ticking, and if it hasn't happened by now, its most likely not going to.

I have giving him some basic advice..he doesn't want to engage a lawyer as he thinks it will only make matter worse, I think I would have to agree, not to mention the $$$$ aspect....he is only wanting and would be happy with every other weekend access, along with summer vacation, Christmas and other special occasions divided equally. He is prepared is prepared to pay CS and has no problem with such.

My question is what is his next steps here? What forms are needed to serve his ex...should he ask for an interim order for access?, what does he need to do, and the fastest way to get an interim order to see his child. What are his chances of success of getting weekend, overnight access?

Thanks in advance for any help on this one.

[InterprovincialParents]

What has his access pattern been to date?

[LostFather]

What has his access pattern been to date?

Minimal from what I understand...I just sent you an email

[InterprovincialParents]

If his pattern has been minimal...it shows a lack of desire to be involved, be a parent to the child...not so good when it comes before a judge.

[InterprovincialParents]

My question is what is his next steps here? What forms are needed to serve his ex...should he ask for an interim order for access?, what does he need to do, and the fastest way to get an interim order to see his child. What are his chances of success of getting weekend, overnight access?

As far as next steps go, filing an application...as part of the application, yes, interim...although it may be supervised with a child at that age with minimal history, and he has to be willing to accept that and work from there....refer him to the MoAG website for forms...or advise him to go to the courthouse and speak to a FLIC representative.

[InterprovincialParents]

As well, if I were in his shoes, I would speak to FRO about CS, get them to take in anyhow, or he could be ordered a lump sum retroactively.

[InterprovincialParents]

Alternatively, he knows his gross income, put that amount monthly into an RESP for child.

[LostFather]

Alternatively, he knows his gross income, put that amount monthly into an RESP for child.

Okay, thanks..as far as lack of interest, he has been trying she has been denying. But see your point..I spoke to him, he wouldn't object to the supervised access. But at that age people send their children to babysitters with no supervision...why would the father need to be supervised? There is no history of violence...he's 40 years old...if a teenage can look after young children, then why the supervised access?

[InterprovincialParents]

It is called "re-introduction" access, where it is supervised until a social worker feels confident that the parent-child bond is there.

[LostFather]

It is called "re-introduction" access, where it is supervised until a social worker feels confident that the parent-child bond is there.

Okay...thanks for that...though it may suck...he would be or says he would be willing...but I am not sure why...whats the difference between leaving the child with a sitter or daycare provider...just that he is the father.

Is this the norm? Could he not ask for daily access at first without supervision? How long does supervision usually take...to graduate if I may use that term.

[standing on the sidelines]

Okay...thanks for that...though it may suck...he would be or says he would be willing...but I am not sure why...whats the difference between leaving the child with a sitter or daycare provider...just that he is the father.

Is this the norm? Could he not ask for daily access at first without supervision? How long does supervision usually take...to graduate if I may use that term.

The courts want to make sure that this is done gradually so the child/father realationship has a chance to develop. If a child has a problem with a babysitter you get a new babysitter, not the same with a father. If he refuses then it just looks like he is not willing to do what it takes to see his child. They do it for the child, not the father. If he is willing to do it for a while then he can show that he is developing a bond with his child and he will get more liberal access. It is just baby steps but at least it is a start.

[dadtotheend]

No reason for supervised access AT ALL. If the kid can be left with ANYONE but Mom, surely the father can be a candidate there. Absolutely ridiculous that anyone would float that stupid ass idea!!

EOW and one night a week is the play. Supervised? Give your head a shake.

[InterprovincialParents]

Is this the norm? Could he not ask for daily access at first without supervision? How long does supervision usually take...to graduate if I may use that term.

DDTE-I did not say ask for it...merely that it could be awarded...and to be prepared for that if it is..."although it may be supervised with a child at that age with minimal history, and he has to be willing to accept that and work from there" Don't tell me to give my head a shake like I was telling him to ask for that!

What he wants to ask for is full...a lawyer and friend recently told me to ask for more than what you want so that you have room to lose some...

And, while I may not agree with it, I would never ask for less than I want.

[LostFather]

The courts want to make sure that this is done gradually so the child/father realationship has a chance to develop. If a child has a problem with a babysitter you get a new babysitter, not the same with a father. If he refuses then it just looks like he is not willing to do what it takes to see his child. They do it for the child, not the father. If he is willing to do it for a while then he can show that he is developing a bond with his child and he will get more liberal access. It is just baby steps but at least it is a start.

That's right you just get a new babysitter, but this guy is the father and should be treated as such...I am sorry but I am not buying your argument...there should be no need for it in my opinion and is unnecessarily intrusive, for both the father and child, you're automatically making the assumption the child will not bond, and that is wrong in my humble opinion...he has seen and interacted with his son, it just hasn't been regular...there has been no issues of the child pulling away from him or anything negative when he does see the child.

[InterprovincialParents]

I did not mean to intend that it WOULD be the result, merely that it COULD be argued...if mom has denied access, expect the worst fight to get it...she could bring forth a) reintroduction counselling, b) supervised access that gradually moves to unsupervised, or c) any other alternative that allows her to retain control.