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how to deal with ex's offer to settle

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  • #16
    thank you rwm1273,

    rwm1273If: "you two sold property and each got paid out, was that equal? Who paid for the down payment? "
    We did not have any property at the time we separated.

    "Just because the child does not want to always visit, does not mean that there should not be an order for it."
    Thank you for you reminding me of the way to think those issues, which i did not think in that way. Excellent! Thanks a lot.

    My questions:
    (1) When I give ex my responses to ex's offer to settle, should I explain so much, so detail about the child support and spousal support, so they can understand how those number come out.

    On one hand I feel i should give ex my explanation to get mutual understanding those issues, on the other hand I worry ex and her lawyer may get my thought and reasons and use those to harm and attach me at the court. Any experience about how to deal with those concerns.

    (2) Ex and her lawyer may do the same thing that they do not serve me their financial statement for the trial management, and then the case may go to the trial, which i really do not want that step because i do not know how to argue those issues. The last settlement conference, the judge said that the case is so simple and clear and both sides should come out settlement. the judge also said this case should not be allowed to go to trial. there are not so much to fight.

    If at the trail management conference, ex does not serve me her financial statement, then the S.S. and C.S. can not be solved, then the whole case may have to go to the trail.

    Ex somehow got legal aid before she got the present job, so her lawyer likes to keep the case alive.

    anyway, i wrote too much, thank you for your reading my story patiently.

    Sept 19, 2010


    • #17
      If she is not eligable for legal aid, you can make a call to them and inform them. My ex quit working after I gave them a print out from MEP(FRO) showing how much she got from me in support, and a copy of her pay stub from her employer. A short time later she lost custody to me. But still does not work.

      If you ask for financial discloser, they have no choice but to provide it. There are pre printed forms available for this request. If they do not provide it, then they could be found in contempt, and if you point out that you have not received their financial info at a pretrial confrence, they will be in shit.

      Are you in Ottawa? If so I know a few people who may be able to help you out. I'm in Alberta, but am very active in a few of the FR movements and Equal parenting circles.


      • #18
        Originally posted by rwm1273 View Post
        As was mentioned before, I would specify that both parties are to provide financial information on a yearly basis. And given her income, then no section 7 expenses to be paid by you.
        Why not, rwm?? S.7 expenses must still be share proportionately to the parties' incomes..As an example, she makes $50 000.00, he makes 25K...he is responsible for 33.3 % of S. 7, regardless of who makes more. However, the custodial parent has an obligation to provide information on S. 7, as well as copies of receipts.

        Joint cutody does not mean shared means the same decision-making powers, and right to discuss and come up with answers to issues regarding the child's health and well-being...and will also ensure your ex cannot change your child's name without your consent.


        • #19
          Since they have be separated for a number of years, and there has been no request until now, there is precedent for some status quo. Besides unless the child needs some serious orthodontics, then there should not be much in the way of specific section 7 now.

          My statement is what I would use as a counter offer for their offer to settle. Ultimately it will come down to a judge to make final say.


          • #20
            thank you rwm1273 and InterprovincialParents

            I am in Toronto. My case is in downtown Toronto. Thank you rwm1273.

            I wrote a letter to Legal Aid Toronto earlier this year and they gave me a reply saying they could not get involved in this case. maybe i should contact them again. hope something can happen.

            And thank you InterprovincialParets, now I have better understanding about the Joint custody. i am going to contest for the best interest of my daughter. thank you help me and encourage me.

            thank you all

            Sept. 20, 2010


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