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Further advice on taping phone conversation....help please!!!

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  • Further advice on taping phone conversation....help please!!!

    I have an unfortunate situation where my ex husband is saying inappropriate things to our daughter during their phone conversations. ie: lying, bashing her mother, involving her in adult issue, putting her in the middle...etc etc.)
    She is seeing a child pychologist to help her through the divorce issue and he has identified that things that my ex is doing is affecting her emotional well being. I have discussed these issues with my ex but he wont listen to me and will not change his behaviour in front of my daughter. So I have started to tape any phone conversations and have all emails etc he has with me as I was advised this is legal.

    My question is.....Can I legally tape phone conversations he has with my daughter if I let him know that I will be doing so?

    I know he will flip out at this and probably involve my daughter in it which I do not want. But I feel I need to have some documentation as to what is going on if I need to take any matter before the court to protect her from the emotional abuse she is enduring.

    Could he stop me from taping the convos legally?

    I just need help as to what to do here to protect her from this.

    The pychologist has talked to him and discussed the harm this is doing but he still continues to do it. But without concrete documentation we both dont feel we would get anywhere with the court as it is "he said. she said" scenario.

    Any help or advice would be appreciated.

    Thanks

  • #2
    You can tape telephone conversations as long as one party know its being recorded. i.e. your ex or your daughter. Instead of involving your daughter in taped phone calls a letter or report from her psychologist would hold a great deal of weight in court. In acrimonious high conflict family court proceedings Judges will most often rely on neutral professional third party opinions.

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    • #3
      I would agree a psychologist report would be more benficial to you in front of a judge. I am curious though, I understand one of two adults may record a conversation, but was advised that a parent may not tape a conversation of thier childrens calls, It could of been that is permissible but not proper to have a child record conversations for the another parents use. something I would agree with, we really don't want to involve our children in this type of activity unless it really a last resort I would think.

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      • #4
        I agree ...I dont want my daughter involved at all!!!

        And I know if I every advised my ex that I would be taping all his phone convos then he would definitly involve her. I dont want that

        I will have to continue working with the pychologists on how we continue to deal with this to help her.

        Thanks for the input.

        Comment


        • #5
          taping phone conversations

          I too have been placed in an unfortunate position that I have to tape all conversations with my ex and my children. This is to prove to my lawyer the manipulation and coersion that he is using. Words that my kids have repeated are comments and statements that do not come out of the mouth of young children.

          My lawyer has had no problem listening to these conversations, and is quite appalled by what is being said. He has encouraged me to continue to speak to the kids and keep on doing what I am doing.

          I say, tape them! It's the only way to have concrete information that you and/or your lawyer can take before a judge.

          Based on what has happened this past week alone, my lawyer now knows that I am not a crazy mom, but has heard exactly what is being said and understands what we are up against with my ex.

          Again I say, use that dictaphone or tape recorder and if you have speakerphone on your telephone, use it too. It makes it that much easier to record.

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          • #6
            twoonie,

            I personally would be very careful with that. From what I understand we may not tape conversations with our children only amongst adults. Even if they are our own children, I believe we may not tape them speaking with the other parent, at the very least you would not be permitted to use this in court.

            When you include a minor and an adult I would think you may wish to proceed with caution, perhaps a second opinion, the advise to me was such that this is not permitted.

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            • #7
              I once taped my child saying mommy said i better not say I want to spend equal time with you because she would get very mad. I had my lawyer liste tp it and he fianally opened his eyes. I have still not used it in court but I know it's there for when i need to.

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              • #8
                I believe we may not tape them speaking with the other parent
                The general rule with phone recording is that at least one person participating in the conversation has to know about the recording. So, if you're taping a conversation between you and your ex, that's fine. BUT, taping a conversation between your child and your ex (a conversation in which you are not a participant), this is, as far as I'm concerned, illegal.

                While I don't think the fact that the child is a minor makes much of a difference, I think today is right in suggesting that you proceed with caution. Really, any action that involves a minor child should be considered carefully, and then considered carefully again. Speak with a lawyer to make doubly sure before you go ahead with this.

                Lindsay

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                • #9
                  Tape recorded evidence can present as a sticky situation for a lot of judges and often whether a judge is even prepared to listen to a recording will depend largely on the judge and whether they are open to it. One strategy to use would be to transcribe the recordings - can't hurt.

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                  • #10
                    Taping phone calls

                    Hi There:
                    I need to just clearify something, it is not illegal to tape phone conversations my ex and I have, but it is illegal to tape my childerns conversation with my ex?

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                    • #11
                      can I transcrible my childerns converation with my ex?

                      Comment

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