Ammending Agreement

[Momymonkey]

Good Day All,

My ex and I had our lawyers draw up a separation agreement in 2003. At the time it was I that had to pay CS and I never missed a payment in 7yrs. We never had it registered with a court nor has it been ammended. I have voluntarily increased CS over the years to match my income changes and paid for extras when I could afford it. We have 3 children that I paid CS for and now we have 1.

.............My situation has changed that I do not have the capability to cover all of the extra expenses, unless they are medical/dental. I have requested that my ex contact me prior to purchases or registration of extra cirricular activity, but he has denied. He has requested that we stick to the agreement and I pay 50%...........the thing is there is no provision in the agreement for extras, I have been paying those because I felt morally obligated and my financial situation had improved since 2003 when we drew up the agreement..........should I do as he requests and follow the agreement(which means he will get nothing) or should I suggest that we go to mediation to ammend the agreement? I am not even sure if I should be paying 50% for extra as he refuses to give me copy of annual income.

Any suggestions?

[NBDad]

You are in Ontario? He has to provide you with a copy of his notice of assessment within 30 days of written notice. (Send him a registered letter).

How often do you each have the children as this would have bearing on the method you use to pay support. (ie. full table or offset)

"extra expenses" fall under "section 7" and should be split proportional to income. This should be automatic, and if he takes it to court then you will be ordered to contribute proportionally to them. He SHOULD be clearing things with you first, and/or you should be able to claim your portion of the expenses on your income tax (or you should have a provision for HIM giving YOU back X percentage of the income tax he gets back from those items that you contributed to)

The kicker with section 7 is that it's for things that are not reasonably covered by CS. What's "reasonable" to me, might be vastly out of range for you, or vice versa. What I usually suggest is that you use the federal tax deduction amounts as a guideline. IE. you only agree to cover up to $500/child /year unless you consent otherwise. $500/year is the max you can deduct for extra curricular, per child.

Also, if your situation has changed that much, then I am assuming you are making LESS than in years past? Have you automatically decreased your CS payments accordingly as well?

[Momymonkey]

Hi NBDad,

Yes, Ontario. He wont provide me a copy of assessment even when sent written notice. He told me it was irrelevant what he made

I pay CS according to Federal Guidlines and have increased according to my Notice of Assessment. He recieves one every year.

I have been paying 50% of essentials(medical/dental/school supplies & trips etc) for years, although my agreement does state that I do not have to pay any extras, he waived it as he made 3x more than I did at the time. It was never ammended.
The problem is he just throws invoices(sometimes without an invoice) at me willy nilly and expects me to pay half, ...............what, I have no say??

That 500/child/year........would you consider that above and beyond medical/dental responsibilities ie - after school sports, tutoring, ju jitsu, school supplies/trips etc.

The situation has changed such that I make double what the agreement states from 7 yrs ago.............the issue is once the older children were of no financial worth to him(CS stopped(20 & 18) he booted them out, employed or not. They both live with me now. They contribute by purchasing food and doing chores, otherwise there is no extra income at this time.

[NBDad]

I have been paying 50% of essentials(medical/dental/school supplies & trips etc) for years, although my agreement does state that I do not have to pay any extras, he waived it as he made 3x more than I did at the time. It was never ammended.

If you are down to only the one child, and you have an agreement that states you don't have to cover extras, stop. Let him drag you to court over it if he wishes. YOU have two other children that you are supporting, if they are in school at all, HE should be paying you. Otherwise the kids are considered adults and should be working to contribute room & board.

The problem is he just throws invoices(sometimes without an invoice) at me willy nilly and expects me to pay half, ...............what, I have no say??

Don't pay ANYTHING without a receipt. You should be paying a proportional amount. So unless he's giving you his notice of assessment, you can't calculate it. Also, you CAN haul him into court for financial disclosure if he won't provide it. IF he decides to pursue court, you can cover yourself by requesting it in writing (which you have done) and also sending him an email that indicates as he is unwilling to provide you the necessary documentation to ensure a proper proportional share of special expenses, that you will not be covering them until he does so.

That 500/child/year........would you consider that above and beyond medical/dental responsibilities ie - after school sports, tutoring, ju jitsu, school supplies/trips etc.

School supplies/trips/etc should be covered under child support. Ditto tutoring. Sports/Ju Jitsu would be subject to the $500/year thing. (it's a special section that is supposed to help kids stay active).

Medical/Dental should only be shared proportionally AFTER things like benefits kick in, and ONLY up to whatever the maximum taxable amount /year would be. Those are separate from the $500/year available tax credit, as they have their own section.

Again, you should either be able to claim the amount, OR have provision that he reimburses you a share of what HE gets back for it.

[Momymonkey]

Thanks for the good info NB.................

If you are down to only the one child, and you have an agreement that states you don't have to cover extras, stop. Let him drag you to court over it if he wishes. YOU have two other children that you are supporting, if they are in school at all, HE should be paying you. Otherwise the kids are considered adults and should be working to contribute room & board.

20yr old is working full time, but Im giving him 6months to catch up with school loan before paying room and board, but he does contribute to the grocery bill and does some repairs around the house for me. 18yr old didnt get a chance to catch his breath after finishing school in June. He dosent want to go to college(although I am still trying to convince him to go....... )

Don't pay ANYTHING without a receipt. You should be paying a proportional amount. So unless he's giving you his notice of assessment, you can't calculate it. Also, you CAN haul him into court for financial disclosure if he won't provide it. IF he decides to pursue court, you can cover yourself by requesting it in writing (which you have done) and also sending him an email that indicates as he is unwilling to provide you the necessary documentation to ensure a proper proportional share of special expenses, that you will not be covering them until he does so.

I am definatly considering doing just that and let him take me in, but that is a whole can of worms he dosent want to open, so Im sure he will never take me to court. He just likes to threaten(the threats to never see the kids again, worked everytime he couldnt get his way)
I already have an appointment to consult a lawyer about my agreement.

School supplies/trips/etc should be covered under child support. Ditto tutoring. Sports/Ju Jitsu would be subject to the $500/year thing. (it's a special section that is supposed to help kids stay active).

Are you telling me all those school trips, tutoring and school supplies are covered under CS? That's 7 yrs of school supplies & tutoring he owes me..............lol.

Medical/Dental should only be shared proportionally AFTER things like benefits kick in, and ONLY up to whatever the maximum taxable amount /year would be. Those are separate from the $500/year available tax credit, as they have their own section.

That is a nightmare, he tried and failed to extort dental money out of me. He claimed his benefits didnt kick in(I do not have any with my current position) until May, but they actually were in effect since Mar..........dont ask me how I found that out.......... He wanted almost $500 that he was already paid for, could get him on that if I need to.

Im sure I will get all the right answers after I speak with legal council.

Thanks for your help

[NBDad]

Yeah, it goes without saying that you should be checking and rechecking all your facts. Consult with legal counsel where possible. (I believe that in Ontario you can get a free 1/2 hour consult at the court house, and/or a lot of lawyers will offer a free 1/2 hour consult as well to try to get you in the door)

Never trust some guy off the interweb Do your due diligence.

Best of luck.

[billiechic]

Great Advice NB!