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First time mothering course..for BLINK and LOGICAL

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  • #1

    First time mothering course..for BLINK and LOGICAL

    Sorry folks, I have been challenged by logical to prove blink wrong on her so-called valid point about who gave me my first time mothering course. (see the closed thread "shared parenting") It was a stupid comment which I tried to dismiss but now I am being challenged to argue it (personal messages back and forth with Logical) because it was soooo valid. PS - Do not argue with moderators - they will suspend your account.

    Here we go Blink..try to keep up..
    Their names were sarah, stephanie and derek. They were my cousins and I babysat them for 3 summers, staying for the summers with the family and taking care of them from morning to night. I thought anyone with some common sense would understand that it's not about a course or a book - of which there are none- it's about experience. When I had my first child, who is now 9 - I was able to fall back on my experience to raise him. And when I had my daughter I was able to fall back on my experience with my son to raise her. Although, it is a little different now. Times have changed. Anyway, I had a solid foundation of EXPERIENCE to rely on. When I referred to him as being a first time father I guess I should have said he has absolutely no experience with young children or, specifically - babies. Would I hire a babysitter who has no experience with children?? NOPE. So excuse me, but I have reason to be concerned about his LACK OF EXPERIENCE. Even he is concerned about it. Which is why I considered your stupid comment to be just that. STUPID, IRRELEVANT and RUDE. I tried dismissing it because I don't feel I should have to comment on everything everyone says..but I guess when you try to ignore the seniors on here, or should i just call you the supremists...shit hits the fan.

    Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming....
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Point not well taken

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    • #3
      Babysitting someone else's children is NOWHERE near the same thing as being a parent. Fail.

      Your thread was closed for a reason.

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      • #4
        It's time to kick her off this board.

        Comment

        • #5
          Sorry, but according to the LAW, you are wrong. First time father or not, he has just as much right to be involved with his child as YOU do. If he wants to press the issue, you can stall the inevitable for AT MOST 6months to a year (assuming you are breastfeeding).

          Trying to take the stance that you know better just because you have more experience than he does at the moment, and therefore should dictate his access is NOT going to get you far here. That kind of thinking is a sore spot for a lot of people around here.

          Last I checked, babies do not come with an instruction manual. (My youngest is 3 days old...I'll have to check the papers that he came with to be sure...I'll get back to you MMm-kay?)

          So excuse me, but I have reason to be concerned about his LACK OF EXPERIENCE.
          Concerned...maybe....legally able to do anything about it? Not so much. Unless you can PROVE he and/or his situation is a documented danger to the child, you don't have a leg to stand on.

          I'm sorry, but from how your post comes across, one of two things is going to happen. The baby's father is going to throw his hands up in disgust and just take crap, OR he's going to grow a set, grow a clue, and YOU ma'am are in for a very rude awakening as to how things work in the real world.

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          • #6
            This actually points to a problem in our system. A mother is able to receive advice on how to care from an infant from her doctor, and hospital staff. NO SUCH RESOURCE EXISTS FOR FATHERS, unless they are tagging along behind the mother.

            In my case (mother attempted to hide before she gave birth), my only recourse as a new father was to sign up as a volunteer caregiver at my local drop-in center, and they provided training on how to care for infants.

            Of course, both parents can learn from family, friends and reach out to other parents for support. But there is a big gaping hole in the professional support.
            Last edited by dinkyface; 08-09-2010, 01:21 PM.

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            • #7
              Dinkyface, sorry your child's mother attempted to hide before she gave birth.
              But the majority of time, that information, help is offered to both parents. They are both encouraged to participate. Just depends on how involved the father wants to be. Im sure there's books/courses etc out there geared towards fathering/parenting a child.
              I just think it's an excuse, but DF I know your situation was alittle different as the mother was trying to keep you out totally.
              Last edited by tugofwar; 08-09-2010, 01:29 PM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by dinkyface View Post

                In my case (mother attempted to hide before she gave birth), my only recourse as a new father was to sign up as a volunteer caregiver at my local drop-in center, and they provided training on how to care for infants.
                Im glad you went out there and learned on your own and took those extra steps!!! Kudos buddy!

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by billm View Post
                  Point not well taken
                  sorry, i didn't mean to include all senior members in there.. in case that's what you were referring to.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Originally posted by NBDad View Post
                    Sorry, but according to the LAW, you are wrong. First time father or not, he has just as much right to be involved with his child as YOU do. If he wants to press the issue, you can stall the inevitable for AT MOST 6months to a year (assuming you are breastfeeding).

                    Trying to take the stance that you know better just because you have more experience than he does at the moment, and therefore should dictate his access is NOT going to get you far here. That kind of thinking is a sore spot for a lot of people around here.

                    Last I checked, babies do not come with an instruction manual. (My youngest is 3 days old...I'll have to check the papers that he came with to be sure...I'll get back to you MMm-kay?)



                    Concerned...maybe....legally able to do anything about it? Not so much. Unless you can PROVE he and/or his situation is a documented danger to the child, you don't have a leg to stand on.

                    I'm sorry, but from how your post comes across, one of two things is going to happen. The baby's father is going to throw his hands up in disgust and just take crap, OR he's going to grow a set, grow a clue, and YOU ma'am are in for a very rude awakening as to how things work in the real world.
                    I didn't say he doesn't have a right and I don't THINK he doesn't have a right either. mmmmk? But thank you for trying to tell ME how it's all going to work out. People should really stop assuming... I don't need to point out why.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      It depends on your area. There are a ton of parenting classes available, or take an infant CPR course from the Red Cross or something.

                      My point is there ARE things you can do to help educate yourself. Maybe not as many as would be available for women, but they are out there. As long as you can show you are making an effort, then the courts will look favorably on you.

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                      • #12
                        Do you know if he ever babysat any child at any point while he was a teenager? Does he have a younger sibling or cousins/neices/nephews who were local? How can you say that you have this experience with something as common as babysitting, yet not recognize that it is just babysitting and not the same as parenting, and that it is very common and handled by all walks of life.

                        Given your reasoning, you have pretty much put your experience as equal as a 13y/o who babysits the neighbours kids a few hours a night. That isn't something I would be hanging my hat on.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                          Babysitting someone else's children is NOWHERE near the same thing as being a parent. Fail.

                          Your thread was closed for a reason.
                          oh blink.. i asked you to keep up and you didn't. you are always pointing out the most ridiculously obvious things. lol. really? babysitting isn't like parenting? i had nooo idea. thanks for coming out.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Originally posted by HammerDad View Post
                            Do you know if he ever babysat any child at any point while he was a teenager? Does he have a younger sibling or cousins/neices/nephews who were local? How can you say that you have this experience with something as common as babysitting, yet not recognize that it is just babysitting and not the same as parenting, and that it is very common and handled by all walks of life.

                            Given your reasoning, you have pretty much put your experience as equal as a 13y/o who babysits the neighbours kids a few hours a night. That isn't something I would be hanging my hat on.
                            no, he did not babysit as a teenager, no younger siblings blah blah. that. is. why. i. said. he. has. no. experience.
                            and i never claimed my experience was superior I just said I had experience. i ALSO said he was concerned about his lack of experience.

                            wow.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                              It's time to kick her off this board.
                              so do it. oh, wait..that's not your call. wannabe moderator. i am just as entitled to be here as you are. deal with it.

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