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A Sprinkle of Hope in Family Law

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  • A Sprinkle of Hope in Family Law

    Greetings Friends,

    I have been MIA for a while but wanted to share with you our latest story in hope that it will prevent you from losing hope during the difficult times you face when dealing with the many frustrations of family law.

    I speak from experience. In a nutshell, my husband (together for 8 years) has a child from a sexual-encounter he had during his 1st year of college, two months before him and met and began dating. Over the past 8 years, we have experienced the birth of his son and the many obstacles that single fathers face in family law... especially (as we found out) when the father was never in a relationship with the mother of the child.

    We faced many frustrating and stressful times. We spent countless hours in mediation and arbitration, we made several attempts at counselling, we experienced the headaches of self-representation, we spent thousands of dollars on countless lawyers, and we had the 'pleasure' of going to court at least once each year for the past 8 years. We have had our share of horrible experiences in front of biased judges... only to be dragged back to court over and over again because 'the golden uterus' always won and with each win, wanted more and more and more. Even when it meant demanding things that were against the word of the law.

    We had lost all hope, many times over, but found it again at our last court date a few months back when we faced the most logical, reasonable, and fair judge we have ever met.

    This judge was a God-send. He is very child-oriented and could see right through my stepson's mother. He scolded her for her behaviour (e.g., withholding visits unless we paid her -above and beyond obligated child support and section 7 expenses- to see the child; filing false police reports against my husband; making threats against me; filing false statements of arrears with FRO; etc.) and encouraged her to shape up and stop the games. He scolded her for dragging us to court over every penny and demanding things outside the word of the law, solely to her benefit. He reverted every issue back to the law - the way it is supposed to be and the way we want it to be - and applauded my husband and I for our efforts in trying to keep things civil and in accordance with family law. And the cherry on top: He made himself the only judge to manage our case... meaning, should we return to court, we will no longer have to face biased judges like we had in the past.

    Ladies and gentlemen, there is hope at the end of the tunnel.

    Since that court date, things have been great. There is no longer any stress in our life when it comes to my stepson and his mother's whims.

    If this was possible for us... it is possible for you too. So please don't dispair. It may take a while (8 years for us) but eventually, your day of justice will come too.

    Last edited by #1StepMom; 07-27-2010, 01:48 PM.

  • #2
    Awesome news! Glad to hear things finally worked out for you.


    • #3
      Who is the judge?


      • #4
        Justice Allan R. Rowsell... at the Oshawa Court House.

        He has over 30 years experience combined in the following positions: family lawyer, mediator, arbitrator, youth services worker, childrens protective services worker/attorney... not to mention sports coach for underpriveleged children, mentor for troubled youth.... and father.

        He explained to us that everywhere he has worked or volunteered, he made sure he fully learned the life stories of the children, teenagers, and young adults he worked with to help him gain a deeper understanding of how life situations and family dynamics affect a child, and how they help or hinder their growth into decent adults and righteous members of society.

        He is a founding Director of the Collaborative Family Law Association and member of the Ontario Family Law Rules Committee. He has been a frequent lecturer for the Office of the Children's Lawyer, the Ontario Bar Association and numerous continuing education programs.

        He truly is a God-send to the family law system.


        • #5
          Maybe we should have a thread for this. I had Justice Ruth Mesbur at my Case Conference. Extremely keen and intelligent, I felt like she could see through us with xray vision. It was fun to read about her ruling on Eleanor Clitheroe a few months later. 6 degrees of separation and all...


          • #6
            Originally posted by Mess View Post
            Maybe we should have a thread for this
            Justice Czutrin in the Superior Court of Justice in Toronto is a winner. He seized our file and was superb. I heard others say good things about him too.

            Thread time. If someone starts it, I'll give the name of a clown of a judge I encountered with reasons and my opinion on another or two that I encountered.


            • #7
              Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
              Thread time. If someone starts it, I'll give the name of a clown of a judge I encountered with reasons and my opinion on another or two that I encountered.
              I'm sure we will all have a few clown judges to add. ;-S


              • #8
                Congrats #1SM...A rose among the thorns. I had one once, never saw him again, tried like hell though. I am willing to share a few stories and those Ottawa judges that made my time at the dance so memorable. Some, poor examples of humanity....


                • #9
                  I am in for starting a thread for judges, and way to go #1Stepmom.....good job.....I will give the name of an excellent judge in Welland Ontario.....Justice Anne Tucker.....she was great....patient and helpful....I have more....poor examples and mediocre at best, but I can't remember off the top of my head......I will get more info and post.


                  • #10
                    any good judges in New Market?


                    • #11
                      Justice Rodgers seems reasonable. I have only been to one case conference with her so far, but based on that, she appeared to not like the "crap" and was quite direct but understanding.

                      Anyone else had experience in Newmarket and/or Justice Rodgers?


                      • #12
                        I should tell you what I know about Newmarket though ...

                        Apparently when you start the process, Case Conference... blah blah - there are five "slots" that are you are scheduled into that are presided over one of five judges. BUT ... in Newmarket, apparently there are currently only 4 judges. So ... it's OK if you get on one of the four regular Family Judges schedules (and they are supposed to be on your case up to trial) ... BUT - if you are slotted into the schudule of the 5th "mystery Judge" then they could be a Judge from anywhere and just filling in for a day. And you will not get the same Judge ongoing.

                        I haven't decided if it's a good thing or a bad thing that this "5th Judge" may not be experienced and/or jaded by Family Court.


                        • #13
                          Thank you, I allready had two CC and had had different judges each time.
                          I am not a shovinist in any way, but its seems like that a male judges in New Market are more reasnoble.

                          Last MTC that I brought, I got destroyed by Justice Mac....... ( don't have her name handy). she denied everething i asked and in addition she awarded the other side section 7 ( even without receipts)


                          • #14
                            Justice McGee


                            • #15
                              I am thrilled for you, for your wonderful outcome. But I am shocked to hear the compassion showed for you and the children; and the description you gave for your judge being so concerned for the children. Back in 2000, he was my ex husband's lawyer. He lied, postponed, and did everything he could to delay our case for 4 yrs, and go along with hiding my exhusband's income...and I had 3 children. My ex had been having an affair with his assistant, half his age, so it wasn't my doing we were there. At discovery, Mr. Rowsell spoke to me like I was something scraped off a shoe. My ex did a good job hiding his income so my support was about as low as it could be and instead of purjure himself in court, ex went unrepresented the day before court. A. Rowsell has come a long way since the days he was instrumental in making sure my children and I have nothing.


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