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First Right of Refusal Parent vs. Daycare

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  • First Right of Refusal Parent vs. Daycare

    My youngest is going into JK this year. I am relocating back into the same area where I used to live and am within the same school district as my ex now. My son will go to school Mon-Wed and alternate Fridays (that how it is in this school district). I want to watch him on the Tues and Thurs and alternate Fridays instead of putting him into school. Ex is refusing to change schedule with me in any way. My lawyer is telling me the only way to make changes is to have an assessment done. I can't afford an assessment as he has all my money still. The few dollars I can scrape up go to my lawyer to keep her on the money side of things. How do I deal with my access and custody issues without it costing me so much money. Is the assessment the only way to change 1 year status quo? How can joint custody work when 2 people can't even discuss and put important decisions into place. His lawyer hasn't responded to my request to change the access and September is coming up quick. There is alot of material change here for my kids. We are moving areas, their school is changing and the youngest is entering JK. Isn't time with a parent better than day care if it can be done. It will save him money on day care too, but he's very controlling and doesn't want me to have more access to the kids. I'm so frustrated by this. I want to ask if he'd attend mediation (again) but last time he ditched $1000 worth of progress and refused to continue.

  • #2
    Why are they limiting the child's access to you?


    • #3
      "Right" of first refusal is not law, it is something most parents are willing to put into a separation agreement.

      One can also distinguish between formal, registered daycares, with trained Early Childhood Education teachers, and babysitting. A formal daycare can be a very positive learning environment for a child and most are every bit equivalent to kindergarten.

      Your ex can make these arguments, you can make yours. There is no strict rule and ideally you would work it out and not make it a reason to fight more.

      You want the time with your child because you want to be with your child. There's nothing wrong with that. However your ex no doubt feels threatened that you are challenging his custody level by seeking this. Is it possible for you to assure him that you are not challenging him, and that you will happily stay at 50/50 once your child is in school full time?


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