Child Location

[sonsmom]

Hello,

Have 50/50 custody. Ex is living with girlfriend and my son on his weeks. Ex will not disclose his address and my lawyer has requested 2x. He only provides a PO box. Do I not have the right to know where my son is living when he's not with me?

[standing on the sidelines]

I would think you do unless there have been issues in the past with harassment or something like that

[sonsmom]

No harassment. Ex just likes to have full contol and no one can tell him what to do. Have case conference in 1-month do I have to wait till then or can my lawyer insist. If lawyer insists can he just keep saying nope will not disclose?

[NBDad]

You have the right to know where the child is when your ex has them. That includes both an address and a phone number (in case of an actual emergency).

If your ex refuses to disclose, it will be looked poorly on by the courts.

[sonsmom]

Looks poorly in court, so what does that mean? Also do I have the right to know who his girlfriend is since my son is living at her house ?

[standing on the sidelines]

Looks poorly in court, so what does that mean? Also do I have the right to know who his girlfriend is since my son is living at her house ?

that is a sticky situation. She may be the one telling your ex that she doesn't want you to know where she lives. If she doesn't want to meet you, you cannot force it.

[Mess]

Your lawyer can insist all you want, he will not answer and your lawyer will charge you $100 at least for send a letter.

When you file an application with the courts, he will have to answer and provide his address. The courts will absolutely require addresses for the children, I've lost count of the number of forms I've filled out with all of our addresses.

At the case conference the judge will certainly require him to disclose the children's address if he has not. Perhaps he will provide some other address on the court files like a business address. Or does he live in a rooming house, etc and then when the kids are with him he takes them to his GF's? This could complicate things. But by the case conference he will have to answer to this.

[logicalvelocity]

Yes, you do have the right. Secrecy concerning the welfare of ones kids festers over time. Does your ex have a lawyer for Special service?

[sonsmom]

Ex has no lawyer - he fired him. What do you mean special service?

[HammerDad]

Looks poorly in court, so what does that mean?

It means when you tell the judge that after multiple requests, your ex still hasn't responded with his address, the judge will get pissed and order him right then and there to disclose his address.

Also do I have the right to know who his girlfriend is since my son is living at her house ?

No you don't. Who he associates with is none of your business unless they are a danger to the child (child molester, drug abuser etc). You get the same comfort as he doesn't get the right to know who you may choose to date.

[logicalvelocity]

Ex has no lawyer - he fired him. What do you mean special service?

Sometimes, court documents are required to be served onto the person or their lawyer rather than mail. This is known as Special Service. It's difficult if you don't know where they reside.

[billiechic]

My ex moved around a lot (with our daughter) in the first 6 months after separation. The judge made him disclose where he lived at the first court appearance (Emergency motion review). Told him that he would have to continue keeping me informed of both his address and phone number etc.

He is going to get a slap from the judge at your case conference. But there is little you can do until then if you have already sent several written requests.

[NBDad]

My ex tried the "hide my whereabouts" game as well. She was made to disclose her address and phone number immediately at the last hearing.

She's still playing it, but since she only has the kids for 5 1/2 hours a week, and at least 2 of the children are old enough that they are very excited to tell me all about what they did with Mom, it's not a huge concern anymore.

She tends to keep them out in the community, since she is now once again essentially homeless and living with friends in a one bedroom apartment that does not have enough room for 4 adults + 4 children at one time.