Question regarding marital home

[BSW]

My GF wishes to enter the marital home.

There is no order for exclusive possession, so as I understand it she has every right to go without notice, and notice is only a polite gesture nothing more.

Also, since their seperation he has paid all the mortgage, since he is living there. At the time they both felt that fair. But he seems to think now that this forgoes all her rights to the home. That she must give 24 hours written notice to visit for example.

My specific question is this.

She wishes to go to the home and inspect. She wants me to go so she doesn't have to pay a lawyer to go with her, as she does not want to be alone with this guy, in a house that is litteraly located in the middle of nowhere.

Me and her ex have never been anything but polite to eachother, so he has no reason to feel threatened by me.

He has stated I may not escort her, that she may only go alone. She is very nervous by this idea...

So can she bring me with her for her personal sense of well being despite his objections?

Perhaps we should just go when he is not home.. but he has also changed the locks and we see no need to hire a locksmith.

Advice?

[billiechic]

Is her name on the deed? Otherwise she has no legal right to enter..it is not her home.

Why does she want to to enter?

[BSW]

They were married for 10 years. They are not yet settled.

She still owns half the house, her name is even on the mortgage.

Everything I have read from the government websites says she can come and go at will, even returning to live there if she wishes.

Is that not the case?

She wishes to inspect what she owns, nothing more.

[HammerDad]

She may enter, but as she has ceased contributing to the mortgage and is, for lack of a better term, a landlord, she must give notice. It is called abandonment.

As for who she may bring in, I don't think she needs consent to for her to bring another individual. She just must state who she intends on bringing.

Why does she need to inspect it? Does she have reason to believe he is allowing the house to deteriorate affecting her value of the home (effectively wasting assets). If she has no reason to believe he is doing this, her inspective could be deemed as intrusive..

[BSW]

Can the reason be to ensure the home is kept up as agreed?

The few times she has been there she has seen food rotting on the floor. And that is only from the door where he insists she remain when picking up the kids.

[HammerDad]

Can the reason be to ensure the home is kept up as agreed?

Depends on what "kept up" means. If it means that the roof is maintained, none of the walls are damaged and any water damage caused to the house be repaired, then she should be able to inspect it. If he allowing the house to become in disrepair affecting her equity in the house by making it less valuable, then she could have arguments for the court.

But if it because he isn't as tidy and she saw some garbage near the door, and therefore believes the entire house is being run-down due to the small example, then she may still be able to enter. But if the result doesn't show a real change in value to the house, a court would not like repeated attempts at entry (could be deemed as intrusive and as attempted aggrevation).

[BSW]

In nine months now this is her first request to inspect the home.

Also, is she entitled to have someone of her choice with her? Again, she does not want to be alone, in a home in the middle of nowhere (and it is) with her ex husband.

Thanks

[HammerDad]

In nine months now this is her first request to inspect the home.

It doesn't sound unreasonable.

Also, is she entitled to have someone of her choice with her? Again, she does not want to be alone, in a home in the middle of nowhere (and it is) with her ex husband.

Thanks

It is a grey area. I would believe she would be able to have someone there. But in my opinion, unless you are a part time contractor that may be able to spot things she can't you provide little value other then moral support. Is there a history of violence between them? If not, she would probably be fine just bringing a digital voice recorder and having it on the whole time.

If there is a history of violence, she could ask the police to attend as observers. Having you there instead of the police, after he said he doesn't want you in the house, could only escalate matters. And I don't know why you would want to put yourself in the middle of what has historically been a violent situation. If she needs someone there to ensure her safety, call the police. That is what they are paid for.

[NBDad]

Call your local office of the rentalsman and ask what she is allowed to do legally. As she is essentially a "landlord" at present, they can tell her what she can and cannot do as well as what kind of notice she has to provide and what she is entitled to in terms of bringing witnesses along.

I do not imagine he is allowed to dictate whom she brings to the property. Has there been a "pillar to post" assessment done yet to determine the value of the home?

Perhaps she could arrange for one of those as well, if she feels the property is becoming devalued.

[BSW]

Those are fantastic points, and its advice like what is in this thread that keeps me coming back here.

My GF has decided to wait until she has real cause before she requests to enter. Until then, let sleeping dogs lie!

Thanks again for all your input. This is a very difficult thing to understand.

[LostFather]

Those are fantastic points, and its advice like what is in this thread that keeps me coming back here.

My GF has decided to wait until she has real cause before she requests to enter. Until then, let sleeping dogs lie!

Thanks again for all your input. This is a very difficult thing to understand.

I would only add to what the other have been saying or have been alluding to, is that your presence maybe considered as provoking in nature, and again why put you and your GF in that situation, as it may interfere with later negotiations. If she needs someone their, why not a neutral person, like another friend, maybe someone that they both know.

Having the police show for something like is in my opinion a waste of their timer, although someone alluded to, thats what they get paid for, yes they do, but unless she believes that her physical well being is in danger, past history of recorded violence, again, the police just escalates the already tense situation.

Just keep in mind of the reason for entry, and the NEED to go in, do not make it for frivolous reasons. I'd use the KISS method in dealing with matter.

[HammerDad]

Having the police show for something like is in my opinion a waste of their timer, although someone alluded to, thats what they get paid for, yes they do, but unless she believes that her physical well being is in danger, past history of recorded violence, again, the police just escalates the already tense situation.

They will show up, after putting up a fuss that this is a civil matter and hate every minute of being there unless they see legitimate reason that they can obviously see.

It is agreed that, unless there is a history of domestic violence, there should be no reason to believe that he will get upset this one time as she does a walkthrough. She would probably be just as safe (if not safer) with a digital voice recorder and some common sense to walk through and keep quiet while taking notes/mental notes.

[dadtotheend]

Can the reason be to ensure the home is kept up as agreed?

The few times she has been there she has seen food rotting on the floor. And that is only from the door where he insists she remain when picking up the kids.

Keep up the home as agreed? Rotting food on the floor? Kids?

You sure that's the best reason? If there really been rotting food on the floor those few times wouldn't the children's welfare require some intervention?

Rather than create legal and costly drama over whether she has a right to inspect, how about moving towards settlement on equalization????

Focus on listing the home for sale or appraising it for a buy out.