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  • An interesting question

    I have been seperated but still living in the same house as my STBX, for financial reasons and so that I dont lose the kids.

    If my girlfriend comes and sleeps over, I would schedule this when the STBX will be away on vacation with the kids, am I putting myself in any legal trouble for doing this? I would notify my STBX of this, but just want to know if this would trouble my cause in any way.

    Thanks

  • #2
    Would it cause trouble? Depends on whether the STBX that you are sharing the house with thinks that it's OK for you to have a slumber party while she is away.

    If she does not like it, then - yes - you could be in a heap of trouble and she can make a case to have you removed from the house. As I understand it, there are two ways to have an uncooperative spouse removed from the marital home - one is abuse and the other is the introduction of an adulterouse relationship into the marital home. They still call it the marital home, and that is how it is seen.

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    • #3
      Thanks KeepSmiling!

      This is exactly what I wanted to know! Ill have the girlfriend over

      Just kidding.

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      • #4
        Better yet .... throw a party and have everyone stay over .... then you're just being a responsible "host"

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        • #5
          Well funny how things work out!!!

          I found out that SHE (the STBX) has had her BF over, and most likely having sex too!!!

          Kind of excited about this new development.

          What is the process to get her thrown out? Do I get custody of the kids with this process?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by leroadrunner View Post
            Well funny how things work out!!!

            I found out that SHE (the STBX) has had her BF over, and most likely having sex too!!!

            Kind of excited about this new development.

            What is the process to get her thrown out? Do I get custody of the kids with this process?
            As if.... who you are having sex with has nothing to do with custody...

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            • #7
              Originally posted by KeepSmiling View Post
              Would it cause trouble? Depends on whether the STBX that you are sharing the house with thinks that it's OK for you to have a slumber party while she is away.

              If she does not like it, then - yes - you could be in a heap of trouble and she can make a case to have you removed from the house. As I understand it, there are two ways to have an uncooperative spouse removed from the marital home - one is abuse and the other is the introduction of an adulterouse relationship into the marital home. They still call it the marital home, and that is how it is seen.
              An adulterous relationship hardly defines an uncooperative spouse. Though it may be the reason for a marital breakdown, I don't believe you will have much luck finding a law that will allow you to throw him/her into the street because of it. I would research this instead of following the "I heard" rule.

              If both parties agree to permit each other's bf/gf at the house when the other and the kids are not present, then fair is fair. However, I can see this arrangement falling apart very quickly.

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              • #8
                I recently came home to find my stbx's girlfriend's car in the driveway and bag in the front entrance after the kids and I had gone to Montreal overnight with other friends to visit the Biodome etc. I can honestly say that I was furious and found it very disrespectful since the house is still owned by both of us and the girlfriend has her own residence. Why do you need to bring her to the place that you still share with your ex and where your kids still reside?

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                • #9
                  CMG, yes I agree. I am very much in the same situation as you are.

                  I was just inquiring, for the comment from KeepSmiling that said I could get thrown out of the house...Now, that I find the SBTX did it...I wanted to know if this was true...Is it? Or was the advice by KeepSmiling wrong.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by leroadrunner View Post
                    Well funny how things work out!!!

                    I found out that SHE (the STBX) has had her BF over, and most likely having sex too!!!

                    Kind of excited about this new development.

                    What is the process to get her thrown out? Do I get custody of the kids with this process?
                    Why does this make you happy? You were planning to do the same thing. Do you want her to be happy about evicting you from the house?

                    If you both agreed to share the house for financial reasons, set up some groundrules that you can both live with, and stick to them. Be respectful of the other person. Don't forget, your kids are watching your every move. Show them how a responsible adult behaves.

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                    • #11
                      I would be very surprised if bringing a girl/boy friend over to the matrimonial home actually broke any laws that would allow someone to kick the other spouse out of their legally owned residence. I agree with MsD. Our kids are watching us and we ought to be setting a good example of how to treat each other even under less than ideal circumstances.

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                      • #12
                        Hey leroadrunner - it was what my lawyer told me. Plain and simple. While I understand that it's near impossible to win a motion for exclusive possession of the matrimonial home unless you have irrefutable proof of physical (or emotional) abuse, my lawyer said that this was another reason you could cite for wanting to get him/her out.

                        Maybe it's the "best interest of the children" angle. ????

                        If one spouse does something so infammatory as to bring their new bf/gf into the house to "sleep over" then the tension in the house could escalate to the point that in the best interests of the children, one spouse needs to be removed. (hey - that's not to say that some people may agree to such an arrangement ???? but .....)

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